One of the things I'm blessed to have is an abundance of family photos. Sure, some are mislabeled and most are grainy and old. There are family members who, for one reason or another, missed the camera's eye. However, my father seldom turned down an opportunity to pose. He was older than his brother, Barry Don, and remained the taller of the two for quite a few years.
Always There
Even though it’s still a couple of days until Father’s Day, I was thinking this morning about my dad, who died in 2014.
My relationship with him was “complicated”. I suppose most women would say that about their fathers. Until I was about ten, we were usually on the best of terms, despite the fact that he was often opinionated, quite strict and “set in his ways”. Though a stern disciplinarian, he was never abusive. If I was punished, I usually deserved it.
Dad and I hunted and fished together, worked in the fields, and shared a love of animals, especially birds. My dad showed poultry in high school and we always had some kind of chicken, goose, or parakeet. Until my four brothers began arriving, I was his assistant for all repairs and building projects I learned to identify and fetch numerous tools and swing a hammer without injuring either of us. Dad also taught me how to dig and manage irrigation ditches, prune vines, build cages, and drive a tractor.
My dad also taught me patience…because he could talk to anyone in the world, and usually did! He talked and talked and talked. His usual modus operandi was to leave mom and me in the car so he could get two or three grocery items or a spark plug, or a sack of feed. “I’ll be right back,” he’d say. He never was. At some point mom usually had to send me in to remind him that we were in the car. Of course, I never interrupted him, at least not after the first time. I learned to simply stand next to him or take his hand. That was usually enough to prompt him to wrap up his conversation. I certainly learned a lot about life by listening to those conversations for a few minutes!
I also learned about hard work from my dad. He had a variety of jobs and businesses and liked to call himself a “Jack of all Trades”. If he didn’t know how to do something, then he figured it out or worked for a time with someone who did. And it was not unusual for him to work the vineyards and orchards we leased from sunrise to sunset. He eventually “retired” from driving a truck for a local business. However, he continued to do metal recycling, welding, and carpentry. He was still working in his shop when he was eighty.
It was at the beginning of my teen years that our more serious conflicts began. He had very definite ideas about a young woman’s appropriate dress, behavior, and curfew. I think I only need to give one example to make my point. I was once fifteen minutes late coming home from a date and Dad was pulling out of the driveway to come and find me.
After we survived those years and I was safely married, Dad was understanding, helpful, and generous. He adored his grandchildren and frequently asked me to return to Oklahoma. I finally consented, but by that time our girls were married and only Robert was available to be spoiled. Thankfully each of the girls later came to visit and brought great-grandchildren with them.
I was trying this morning to think of what I admired most about my Dad. I think I can sum it up by simply saying, he was “always there”.
Showers of Blessings
Today we enjoyed a lovely respite from the heat of summer! Gary and I sat on the patio and watched it rain for about fifteen minutes. The birds also seemed to enjoy it. Even the flowers know the difference between hose water and rain water.
Food...the Acceptable Addiction
It's interesting from a sociological standpoint to think about how addicted we are to food, especially junk food and "comfort" food. Food photos and recipes and discussions of food account for a startling number of the posts on FB. And our addiction to food seems to have increased exponentially during the quarantine.
Yes, I said “addition”. Food is meant to fuel our bodies and sustain our health, yet we devote 90% of our diet to satisfying our taste buds and much of our eating also serves as entertainment, or relief from stress or emotional pain. The term “comfort food” is defined as food that provides “consolation or a feeling of well-being, typically any with a high sugar or other carbohydrate content and associated with childhood or home cooking”. I can’t begin to tell you how many FB photos I’ve seen of various versions of macaroni and cheese, potato dishes, desserts, and bread. I’ve been told that the average weight gain during the quarantine was 10-15 pounds. Unfortunately, that cooking/eating/gaining trend may continue for several more months. Even more unfortunate is that while food sustains, and comforts, it can also kill us. The medial profession has been telling us for decades that eating too much or too little of certain foods and nutrients raises our risk of dying of heart disease and diabetes. We know better than to eat junk food and drink sodas and sit around snacking. Now we need to put that knowledge into action.
Oh, I hear you…Mary, you’re fat. Yes, I am. But my doctor informed me recently that I’m too smart to STAY fat. That really made me pause and reconsider my diet. I gave up soda about fifteen years ago. I became a pescetarian shortly after that…so I don’t eat meat. I don’t eat chips. I rarely eat a dessert other than ice cream. I don’t buy or consume extra salt or sugar. I seldom eat whole eggs. My excuse for my weight has always been my difficulty with walking and general movement. My “calories burned” have never been able to balance my “calories consumed”. Although I have a healthy diet in comparison to the typical American one, I have always consumed too much food. That’s the simple truth.
So…you know me. Knowledge is my tool for dealing with any challenge. I’ve spent the past week studying food facts and trying to determine my major mistakes. It turns out that some of my favorite “healthy” foods are high in carbs. Some of my habits, like drinking orange juice, need to change. And of course, I need to eat less. Portion sizes have increased so much in my lifetime that I often eat too much without even being aware of it. Did you know that bagels used to average 3” in diameter, but now are 5-6”? That represents an increase of 200 calories.
Reading and trying to do better. Next week I’ll give you some details on my discoveries and progress…
The View from Here
I’m thankful this morning for the actual “view” we have this summer. No location is stagnant if you’re observant, but many of my friends and family members live in city apartments or neighborhoods that create a sense of isolation even under normal circumstances. Since the quarantine began…“There’s nothing going on” or “I’m so bored” is a frequent lament.
We’ve never had that problem since we began gardening and birding. The birds and blooms in our yard provide an endless supply of sights and sounds. However, this summer we also have an eventful daily view because of the humans around us.
A new house is being constructed next door and although I have to admit that the sounds (banging, beeping, talking, and engine noises) have required some personal adjustment, watching the process is fascinating and informative. We catch a glimpse of it as we go about our daily routine. We can’t see it from any window, but when we’re outside working or relaxing it’s in full view. And each night after the crew leaves, we wander to our side yard to check on the day’s progress.
Gary and I both come from families with at least a couple of building contractors, and we’ve done our share of home remodeling and repair. We know the “basics” of constructing a house, but this front-seat view of each step is enlightening.
And if that didn’t give us enough to watch, there is another house being constructed just down the street. Because our next-door neighbor on that side has a massive front yard, we can clearly see the construction of his son’s house on the other side of him. That house is about three weeks behind this one next door in terms of the process. Trucks are still delivering dirt on a daily basis and then someone levels the site.
Between these two projects our summer will be filled with something to watch and of course we’ll also gain new neighbors. We’ve already met one of them and he seems like a nice young man.
Our current neighbors on every side are active gardeners and one of them is also doing some painting and minor remodeling. We live near a wedding venue and the side that faces us is like a park. We live just off a busy four-way stop where drivers don’t always do so…a recent accident startled me even though I was here in the office. Our rural road is the daily route for four walkers and a bicyclist.
Always a view from here!
Blessings Through the Lens
Having a camera has made me much more observant and aware of the blessings of each day. I took these this morning, just after breakfast.