The View from Here

Poppies

I love poppies. I love the way they change shape in the wind. I love the variety of their colors. The golden poppies remind me of my childhood in CA. The pink and red ones were favorites in my dad's garden. 

Butterflies

Butterflies always make me smile. They were my mother's favorite creature and there is even one on her headstone. 

 

Changing My View

I’ve neglected my blog for quite some time. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. Most of the time I have too much that I’d like to say, especially concerning health and education. However, since I’m no longer in the trenches and my concerns are quite different from those who are still working, I find myself embracing the idea of another purpose for this site.

I’m going to change to a visual focus for my blog and make it literally my VIEW through the camera. Each day I’m going to share at least six photos from the past ten years. My goal is to give you a reason to start your day or take a break in your day to just smile, appreciate nature, and thank God for giving us the beauty of the world around us.

I’ll probably group the photos in some logical way. I don’t plan to label them by year or location, although if you have a question along those lines, I’d be happy to answer you. I’ll probably comment on some aspect of the photos. You know me, I can’t be totally silent.

I’m not a professional photographer and my cameras are usually set on “automatic”. My favorite photo subjects are flowers, animals, and insects. My favorite areas are the pastures and woods around Caddo, the Hagerman wildlife refuge near Pottsboro, TX, and of course, my own back yard, no matter where I live.

I hope this new view brings you joy! I know it will be a pleasure for me to look at some of my favorite photos once again. Since we moved to town, I dearly miss my “dinner crowd” at our home in the country, so I’m going to begin with them.

 

Hot August

Out early to give the flowers a little water and fill the bird baths. 

Grief Goes On...

The following is a post that I wrote in 2014 after my dad died. I felt the need to share it again this morning because of the recent passing of several friends and family members. The past two years have seen too many empty chairs at too many tables. I’ve seen some of my relatives only at funerals. However, during the same years there have been new babies and joyful milestones- graduations, weddings, promotions, anniversaries. One couple we cherish just celebrated sixty-two years together. Life is still about balance and blessings and gratitude. Grief plays a part, but only a small one if we keep seeking God’s will and wisdom.

My mother died in 1999. Am I “over” her death? No. Have I cried about her absence in the past six months? Yes. Will I ever stop missing her? No. But life goes on and she would not be happy if I just sat around wasting the days I have left.

Good Grief

You can’t get to my age without compiling a long list of encounters with death. The first “funeral” I ever participated in was for a bird that fell from the tree in our front yard. I spent a whole day trying unsuccessfully to feed it, despite my mother’s warnings, and the next day she helped me put it in a little shoe box and bury it under the rose bush. I cried myself to sleep that night.

During my childhood there was a seemingly endless parade of fish, birds, hamsters, cats, dogs, and even a pig or two that caused me to shed painful tears and wonder about the unfairness of the whole life and death process. I still have a tuft of hair from my first cat…sealed in an envelope in the diary I kept as a twelve-year-old. Her name was Sandy and she was hit by a car. I grieved for her for years.

The first human death that had a significant impact on my life was the death of the young brother of one of my classmates. We were in the sixth grade when the tragic accident occurred. I don’t remember exactly how old Rudy’s brother was…just a toddler.  Somehow he ended up in the driveway, backed over and killed by their father. I mourned for my classmate and for his father. I couldn’t imagine his guilt or understand how they could go on with their lives. But of course they did.

I have a few vague memories of attending funerals with my parents. I suppose friends and some distant relatives died. I attended the services, but it wasn’t until my great-grandmother died in 1961 that I felt any personal loss. I had only seen her a couple of times, but she was family, and she was my family. And before I could get to know her better she was gone…forever. Other family members have followed over the years, some after lingering illnesses, some suddenly and unexpectedly. Some were very old and others graced our lives for only a few short days.

And now I am once again going through the process of saying goodbye.

I know you’ve heard of the “stages of grief”, but there is a great deal of controversy about the validity of that theory. I don’t personally believe there is a particular series of emotions that follows the death of a loved one. First of all each relationship and each death experience is unique.  I’ve been angry about the deaths of a few friends and relatives, but certainly not all of them. I wanted to deny that my mother was dead, but I have no such illusions about my father’s passing. I cried for hours and days and months after Mom’s death. My tears for Dad have been less frequent and I even find myself smiling when I pass the DQ. He would not want hours and days of crying over his death. I am also older and wiser than I was when Mom died; Dad and I had even discussed his inevitable death a few times.

Grief is an emotion that is always with us, just as love and hate, joy and anger. It is only the expression of it that changes.  I still miss my great-grandmother when I see her photo or remember her laugh or smell roses.  I might have to pull over to the side of the road and cry if Mom’s favorite song plays on the radio tomorrow. And I’ll probably grieve for Dad each time I see a poppy…but life goes on, and so will I.

Blessed to Be Here

Three people in our circle of acquaintance have completed their time with us and three families that we’ve known for decades are mourning today and adjusting to their absence. We had known one of the men for nearly forty years. The others for nearly twenty. That adds up to a lot of memories. And a lot of connections. When someone dies there is a ripple affect as their role in life no longer exists. Losing three men in two weeks feels more like a tidal wave than a ripple.

The death of any man always reminds me of my father’s death. Once he was gone, I no longer looked for his truck in the driveway on Sunday afternoons. I no longer had his experience to call upon for gardening advice. I no longer had his access to news of the activities of other children and grandchildren in the family. Our family lost a father, grandfather, uncle, brother, cousin. His friends lost a fishing partner, storyteller, and traveling companion.

The death of each of our friends this month has left a woman with a new label…“widow”. Thankfully, each of them has a large supportive family and lots of friends. But they will still be alone at home and be required to make a thousand adjustments, large and small.

All these random thoughts this morning and the knowledge of another funeral tomorrow, leaves me feeling very grateful that my husband is still here with me. Perhaps tomorrow will be our last together. Or perhaps God intends for us to celebrate our 50^th anniversary next year. I won’t concern myself with that. I’m just going to celebrate today and consider myself blessed to be here.

Flight

I've always loved to photograph birds in flight. These were taken at Hagerman on August 10th. 

Human Nature

Human Nature

                As I read my Bible each morning, I’m often amazed by the comparisons that can be made between the ancient world and our own. I’m both encouraged and discouraged by the realization that there truly is “nothing new under the sun” and that the behavior of most of the earliest Christians was no better or worse than the behavior of those who claim the title today. This morning I read this little verse in Proverbs and instantly thought of Facebook:

Proverbs 18:2

Fools find no pleasure in understanding
    but delight in airing their own opinions.

                I’m just as guilty as the next person of airing my own opinions…on FB, here, in the newspaper, in any public gathering. Telling people what I think has never been a problem for me. Even as a young child, my parents cautioned me about telling people things they didn’t want to hear. In my defense, I think I’ve devoted a lot of time and effort to understanding what other people think and feel and believe. My grandmothers taught me that. Each was fond of quoting “walk a mile in their shoes” and “there but for the grace of God”. BTW, as a child I thought both of those admonitions was actually in the Bible. I didn’t know they came from this poem:

“Judge Softly”

“Pray, don’t find fault with the man that limps,
Or stumbles along the road.
Unless you have worn the moccasins he wears,
Or stumbled beneath the same load.

There may be tears in his soles that hurt
Though hidden away from view.
The burden he bears placed on your back
May cause you to stumble and fall, too.

Don’t sneer at the man who is down today
Unless you have felt the same blow
That caused his fall or felt the shame
That only the fallen know.

You may be strong, but still the blows
That were his, unknown to you in the same way,
May cause you to stagger and fall, too.

Don’t be too harsh with the man that sins.
Or pelt him with words, or stone, or disdain.
Unless you are sure you have no sins of your own,
And it’s only wisdom and love that your heart contains.

For you know if the tempter’s voice
Should whisper as soft to you,
As it did to him when he went astray,
It might cause you to falter, too.

Just walk a mile in his moccasins
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse.
If just for one hour, you could find a way
To see through his eyes, instead of your own muse.

I believe you’d be surprised to see
That you’ve been blind and narrow-minded, even unkind.
There are people on reservations and in the ghettos
Who have so little hope, and too much worry on their minds.

Brother, there but for the grace of God go you and I.
Just for a moment, slip into his mind and traditions
And see the world through his spirit and eyes
Before you cast a stone or falsely judge his conditions.

Remember to walk a mile in his moccasins
And remember the lessons of humanity taught to you by your elders.
We will be known forever by the tracks we leave
In other people’s lives, our kindnesses and generosity.

Take the time to walk a mile in his moccasins.”

~ by Mary T. Lathrap, 1895

 

 

            As usual I’ve wandered a bit from my original intention for this blog post. My central thought this morning was that while most people think of the Bible as a guidebook of “dos and don’ts” it is also a wonderful textbook for any study of human nature. Reading of the struggles the writers had between their thoughts and actions helps me understand my own struggles. Reading about the rebellion of some early Christians and about the goodness and charity of others, helps me reflect on the chaos of our current society. Even though the outer trappings of our world have changed, our basic human nature has not. We are still selfish creatures who are far more interested in being happy than in being obedient.

            So…that’s my opinion for today…

 

Simplify Your Life

August is one of the few months on our calendar that doesn’t have a flag-waving, candy-buying, gift-giving holiday attached to it. I’ve always thought of it as a rather serious, stressful month. The weather is dangerously hot and yet most local sports teams are heading out to practice. Parents are frantically shopping for school supplies. Students are mourning the end of summer play and reconciling their minds to the restrictions of school. Gardeners like myself are spending time and effort watering plants and lawns to keep them alive until the rains of fall. Of course, this year we have the added stress of COVID, vaccine conflict, mask confusion, and financial concerns.

August reminds me of Wednesdays…let’s get over this hump and we’ll be okay.

In light of all this, I checked online to make sure I wasn’t overlooking some new holiday and I quickly realized that I neglected to consider the 1,500 made-up “national” days. You know…chocolate chip cookie day, girlfriends day, underwear day. Those are real holidays to be celebrated in August. Every month has them and most days have a selection of several options. There are also weeks to celebrate and this first week of August is designated as “Simplify Your Life Week”. I like that one. I’ve embraced that idea since I retired.

According to online sources we should all strive to simplify our lives mentally and physically. We should declutter our minds and our environments. We should pare down our to-do lists and get rid of useless “stuff”. We should reconsider the priorities in our lives.  I agree with the concept, however the applications suggested aren’t always logical or practical. One expert suggested simplifying errands by doing all of them on one day- buy groceries, fill up the gas tank, go to the pharmacy, pick up the dry cleaning- instead of spreading them out and doing one at a time. If I buy groceries in person, that is literally all I’m physically capable of doing that day. Even when I was young and working, I spread out errands because I had limited time before and after work. I think I’ll skip that suggestion.

I’m currently working on simplifying my daily schedule and finding more time to read. What do you need to simplify? You have to think of something. It’s a holiday mandate.