The View from Here

Us Against the World

Gary recently told his doctor that he needed to get out of the hospital because he wanted to be home for our anniversary. When he told the doctor that we have been married for forty-six years, the doctor asked him the “secret” to a long marriage. Gary replied that “You can either be right or you can be happy” and I added that we have always been good friends who enjoy doing things together. Gary’s answer reflects our ability to compromise, and yes he does that more often than I do. Mine explains why we’ve had very little to compromise about. I can count on one hand the number of actual arguments we’ve had. We disagree about something almost every day- we ARE very different people, but both of us come from backgrounds of violence and we are adamant about peaceful resolutions.

I think the true secret is that from the beginning we’ve had an “us against the world” attitude. We got married over the objections of some family members. We made decisions together and took some risks that seemed crazy to others. We stayed together despite some major challenges. After the usual adjustments and conflicts of young couples we just kept going. I can’t imagine doing anything else, with anyone else.

This was taken at our 40th anniversary. Our other granddaughter was unable to attend. 

The Kindness of Strangers

I stayed in the hospital with Gary yesterday until the nursing staff changed and I met his night nurse. I’m not sure why I did it. I guess I just felt more comfortable after seeing the face of the stranger who would care for him in my absence. She is still a stranger to me. I didn’t get a chance to speak to her for more than a moment. I don’t know anything about her training, family, personality, faith, or dedication to her job. I only know that the hospital trusts her to do that job.

I’ve written about this before, but I revisit the concept each time someone I love is in the hospital: any medical procedure is a journey of profound faith. We don’t get an opportunity to study resumes or conduct interviews of the people who treat our ailing bodies. We trust them to do their jobs and take excellent care of us. We trust God to control the outcome. And as we all get older and require more and more medical assistance to maintain our quality of life, we expand the group of people we must trust with our lives.

I’ve already observed during this week’s visit that a hospital is like any other place of employment. It has a staff of people with differing backgrounds, personalities, values, and abilities who work together to achieve a common goal. Some do it better than others and we can only hope and pray that those are the strangers who are assigned to our care.  

Eat Your Vegetables...

Several years ago I agreed to give up eating meat in order to determine if I could thereby lower my cholesterol level. My sacrifice didn’t make a significant difference in my lab results, but I did discover two surprising results. First, I didn’t miss meat and actually enjoyed my new diet. Second, I felt better- not so sluggish, tired, achy. So I just continued on. I do eat seafood, which makes me a pescetarian, not a vegetarian. And I also eat eggs, and dairy products, although my doctor told me recently that because my cholesterol level is creeping up again I need to cut back on those as well.

Gary was also told recently that he needs to limit his consumption of meat. No matter how or why we got to this point, we are both now doing what our parents told us to do decades ago: “Eat your vegetables!” We’ve talked at length about the reasons for our reluctance to do so as children, and to our surprise we’ve agreed that the cooking method was a major factor.

I grew up in a household that had strong Midwestern roots with a touch of Southern flair. The best foods were fried chicken, fried okra, fried potatoes, and fried...well you get the idea. The best vegetables were those easily grown in the back yard. Unfortunately many of the vegetables grown in our back yard were not fried; they were boiled. No disrespect for my mother intended, but boiling was not always the best method. In order to add taste to bland, boiled vegetables my mom added butter and salt, lots of salt. And of course our winter vegetables were canned- either store bought or preserved in jars by my mom. I hated spinach for years because I’d only eaten it from a can.

Gary grew up in a household with more money and less interest in cooking. He often ate in restaurants or at his grandmother’s home. He ate a variety of foods, but because of the higher income level of his family, more meat. Vegetables were seldom the focus of a meal. And then the Navy started feeding him and he, too, developed an appreciation for the way his food was prepared. Apparently cooking for thousands of men doesn’t always result in gourmet meals. Don’t ever ask him about eating nearly-raw chicken. Or tasteless vegetables…

As our financial situation improved and mom discovered produce markets the variety of vegetables we ate also improved. However, Mom’s cooking methods did not change. I was an adult before I discovered that broccoli could be eaten before it turned into pale mush. I remember eating a baked potato at a restaurant when I was a teen and being astounded by how much I liked it. I had no experience with eating raw vegetables except for those typically found in a salad and we seldom ate a salad except at my grandmother’s home.

Today, as Gary and I make changes in our diet, we are blessed with an abundance of vegetable choices and cooking options. We can buy fresh, frozen, or even a few canned items that are far superior to what we ate as children. I’m especially fond of “steam bags” that allow me to cook fresh vegetables in the microwave. We eat lots of salads. We eat raw vegetables as snacks. About the only thing I ever boil is corn on the cob. LOL

One Body

Gary remarked to someone recently that when we first met I was “hot”. As I was sitting in ER yesterday, waiting for the results of an x-ray I thought about what a long journey we travel with the one frail body we are given. My own has gone from hot to healthy to healing.

When we are young we spend time and effort and ego on making sure our body is attractive and socially acceptable. We color our hair, straighten our teeth, paint our nails, trim our brows, and cover our blemishes. Perhaps we even challenge them to look better through diet and exercise. We clothe them in the latest fashion and present them to the world.

About the time we become convinced that we have created the best self that we can manage, along comes something that hints at our fragile vulnerability. Whether it’s childbirth, an accident, or illness, we pause long enough to realize that we aren’t in complete control of how our body reacts to the challenges of daily life. If we are wise we learn from the experience and make any adjustments necessary to improve our lifestyle. Unfortunately most of us don’t reach the “wise” stage of life for many more years. So we tend to continue on our merry way until something else sidelines us.

During our parenting years our bodies are just expected to stay strong enough and healthy enough to allow us to juggle the dozens of tasks required of us each day as parents, employees, church members, neighbors, and concerned citizens. We pray each night for strength and health and a little sleep, even though we aren’t usually doing much to promote that strength or wellness. Grabbing a snack replaces a healthy meal. Gone are the days when there was time for exercise. Most of us assume that “taking care of others” means neglecting ourselves.

Eventually neglect and bad habits take their toll and many of us find ourselves overweight, out of shape, and visiting the doctor too often to correct some problem, imbalance, or nagging pain. Our body has its own ways of getting our attention and demanding some quality care. At this point some of us get serious about restoring our little house to health. We change some of our habits and try to be kinder to it. We feed it better food and let it rest a little more. We begin to treat it with the respect it has deserved all along because we finally realize that we aren’t getting another one as long as we live on this planet.

My own medical history includes far too many accidents, surgeries, illnesses, and problems. As I look back I can see that a few changes earlier in life would have made a difference in my body’s present condition. I’d love to tell my younger self what to do, but that opportunity has passed. I can only caution the people I love to stop today and take a moment to consider how you are treating your body. Is it healthy and strong? Is it getting enough rest? Are you giving it the care and respect it deserves? You only get one…

Outside=Peace, Inside=Anxiety

I spent quite a bit of time outside yesterday. I didn’t accomplish all that much, but I puttered around and managed to sweep the patio, clean the bird baths, and re-pot some house plants. It was pleasantly warm and a mockingbird kept me company by scolding me for being in his domain. The trees surrounding the nearby pond are still in bloom. There are green sprouts and leaves everywhere. Daffodils blow gently in the wind. Clearly the signs of spring are becoming more and more evident.

If it were possible I would stay outside most of the day. Outside is where life seems normal and natural and peaceful. My only tether to the rest of the world is the phone I carry in my pocket. That’s a recent concession, born of necessity, because with my current disabilities I could easily fall.  However, I’m not one of those people who get numerous calls during the day and I also have the choice of NOT answering it, so my outside time is seldom disturbed.

I grew up outside. My parents were firm believers in fresh air and exercise. I suspect my mother was also a firm believer in enjoying a little peace and quiet by not having her four children inside and underfoot. We also raised crops and animals which required a lot of daily attention. During spring and summer the house was a place for eating and sleeping, and not much else.

Gary and I have talked a lot lately about crime and violence, anger and revenge. We seem to live in a world where everyone is angry about something and seeking another person to blame for their emotions. Each day the news is dominated by some new tragedy or scandal. Hatred and divisions threaten to destroy the peace and prosperity that America has long advertised to the world. But the historian in me has to ask what, if anything, has really changed. Are we really more violent than our ancestors? Have we suddenly become a nation of hatred and violence? Are we in any more danger than our great-grandparents or theirs? I don’t think so. What I think is that we are more aware of the violence and tragedies of the world because we aren’t outside where we belong. I don’t think it was an accident or coincidence that Adam and Eve were created in a garden.

Each day I read my Bible, old newspapers, and correspondence via email, FB, and letters. I also have more than a passing interest in crime since many of my ancestors were victims or perpetrators of crime and violence. I research a lot of crimes and the people who committed them.  I know without a doubt that anger and hatred have always been part of our DNA. Crime has always been a daily occurrence. What has changed is the way we learn about crime.

In the distant past most people learned about crimes through firsthand experience, conversations with another person, or by reading the newspaper. Unless you were a victim, it might be days, weeks, or even months before you heard the details of a particular crime. By that time you had a certain “emotional distance” from it. And certainly you wouldn’t hear of crimes committed outside your geographic region unless they were of national interest. Farmers, laborers, and others who spent most of the day working outside often didn’t hear ANY news until they went to town to sell a crop or buy supplies. Even those who worked in town were often limited in their knowledge of the outside world by their access to a newspaper or a newsreel at the local theater. No one had the means to know much more than a sampling of the crime actually going on in the world.

That peace born of ignorance changed with the increasing popularity of the radio. People who could afford one gathered around it each night and heard what was going on in the rest of the world. Even those without their own radio could listen to the news at a local store or gathering place. Some of it must have been shocking, but also compelling. The immediacy of the radio was more appealing to the senses than news on the printed page.

The radio certainly increased our knowledge of crime, but then television came along and enlarged that knowledge base exponentially... right? Well, yes, television provides us with more detailed information and mesmerizing images, thus increasing our awareness of crime. However, I think the real change is that we spend too much of our time inside focusing more of our attention on crime and violence and hatred. We are “glued to the TV” as my father was fond of saying, and that is NOT a good thing for our heart or soul, peace or contentment.

The average American spends five hours a day watching television, including an hour of news programming.  Many people also obtain the latest news from their phones, which are kept on most of the day. So when does anyone spend time outside in the peace and quiet? When do we focus on enjoying the world? When do we listen to the birds instead of the news?

I’m not advocating a return to ignorance, but how can we possibly avoid thinking that crime is on the increase and criminals are all around us if we spend most of our time in front of a screen that reports murder and mayhem almost to the exclusion of anything else?  

I encourage you to seek balance and moderation in your life. Turn off the news and go outside. Walk. Breathe. Listen. Feel. Pray for peace.  

Blessed Genes

There has been a lot of talk lately about DNA and the changes people make after learning more about their ancestry. I laugh at some of the commercials created to promote the testing, but I realize that the results of the tests are taken quite seriously by some people. I have friends and relatives who understand more about their health history, and future health prospects, thanks to testing. Some have discovered ancestry they weren’t aware they had and aren’t sure they want to admit. Others have become more relentless in their pursuit of benefits related to their heritage. Some have found long lost relatives or ones they never knew they had. I’ve heard so many stories…good and bad.

I’ve chosen not to send away for my little pie chart. I know all of the important things about my ancestry that I need to know. Our heritage has been very carefully documented by a few ancestors who were writers and historians. I have the health histories of several generations of both sides of our family. I can list the top ten things that might end my life. I’ll trust God to reveal any secrets lurking in my genes.

I was reminded yesterday that I am blessed to have a connection to my ancestors that most people will never have, no matter how much testing science is able to create.

I spent about half an hour at the genealogy library yesterday reading words written by my great grandfather. I could just as easily have spent that time reading the writings of my mother, grandmother, aunts, uncles, and assorted cousins. However, I find it most enjoyable to read the newspaper columns of Calvin Banta, aka Rufe Bolts because I never met him. But through his words I know that he shared my love of birds, gardening, writing, and education. I also know how much he cared for the welfare of his friends and neighbors and how frustrated he felt when the government failed to treat them as it should.

Grandpa Banta’s assignment for the paper was to record the news for his little part of the county- Liberty Hill. But in between his reports of births and deaths, church and school events, and the comings and goings of his neighbors, there are tidbits of information about his own actions and numerous comments on politics. Here are a couple of samples:

For the past ten years this scribe has labored to make our place a bird refuge…

…We are getting a good rest now from political dope, and I want to suggest that we enjoy the vacation as best we can, for it will be spread on thick and fast inside of three months. So let us all go fishing.    

Sometimes Grandpa Banta also reported little problems on the hill. Yesterday I read his account of a neighbor’s party that ended with some young men getting drunk and pouring mash over the fence where his cows could get to it. He was not happy about that!

I feel incredibly blessed by the genes passed down by my ancestors, but even more blessed by the words they left. A pie chart will never tell me about my ancestors’ thoughts and values. Only their words can reveal that.

A New Challenge

I broke my foot last week. It would not seem that breaking a foot would be a good thing. However, like most injuries this one has forced me to change a few of my immediate plans and prompted me to reconsider some future ones. It never hurts to pause along the path of life and refocus. It also alerted my doctor to order a bone density test for me since I broke my foot while walking. I did not fall, nor even stumble. And this has motivated me to get more serious about losing a few pounds because obviously a “lighter me” would not be in so much pain. As my grandmother, Della, always told me, “this too shall pass”, and hopefully by the time my foot heals I will be a healthier, better person.

A Change of Location

Yesterday I watched as a flock of about fifty cowbirds landed in the yard. I know many bird watchers consider them pests and they ARE parasites- laying their eggs in the nests of other birds and expecting the host family to feed and nurture their offspring. However, I don’t mind them so much. The origin of their gypsy lifestyle is intriguing. They follow livestock in order to eat the insects exposed as the animals graze. The birds once trailed along after the massive bison herds that roamed our country. There was no time to build a nest and settle down if they wanted to continue eating heartily. So they laid their eggs anywhere they could before moving on. They trusted that most of their babies would survive. I guess they no longer have to worry about where they will find their next meal, but cowbirds continue to behave the same way their ancestors did. Reminds me of our own reluctance to change.  

I know I expressed a little apprehension about moving so soon after we had just gotten settled into our previous home. My garden was doing well. We had a little group of birds that visited each day. The neighbors were nice. Moving was the last thing I wanted to do. However, I can now appreciate the wisdom of God’s plan.

This location is even better than the last and more suited to our lifestyle. There are a dozen little things that I’ve grown to appreciate in the short time we’ve been here. I love that the patio is covered. I like to watch the windmill turn. I’ve seen herons and ducks land on the nearby pond. The neighbor’s llamas are entertaining…I’m ready to settle into this location and enjoy spring. It will only take a little effort to have a pretty garden again. And we already have birds each day. I’m thankful that we moved!

Based on What I Know...

This past Saturday my husband and I attended a workshop about bluebirds. It was given by a professor from a local college who is a scientist and serious birder. His lecture about the birds was two hours long and his audience was attentive to every minute of it, not only because he is a good speaker, but because he imparted so information. I personally learned several things that have changed the way I view bluebirds and the way I will interact with them in the future. I was also prompted by some audience comments and questions to examine my general attitude about feeding birds.

Last night Gary and I watched a 60 Minutes report on Confederate monuments that are being torn down by many cities in the south. Like most reports on this issue it did not include any information about the status of Union monuments. There ARE Union monuments all over the country, including some in southern states, and there are monuments to African American troops who fought in the war. However, CBS did not share that knowledge. Their audience was left to form an opinion based on limited information.

You’re probably wondering how those two topics are related in my little brain. We’re facing some serious problems in our country. Solving those problems requires information:  facts and figures, a detailed history of past solutions, analysis of possible outcomes, and an examination of the opposing sides. We can’t just base our choices and actions on emotion and jump on the most attractive bandwagon that comes along. We can’t just listen to the loudest voices. We can’t do what we’ve always done. We can’t make decisions based on limited knowledge.

If what you know about an issue is based solely on your own experience or what your parents told you or what you learned in high school, then welcome to the information age. Get out your phone or tablet or whatever and Google something more important that what your favorite music idol had for breakfast. Find out everything you can about a concern. Before you try to sway the rest of us by saying, “Based on what I know”, make sure you know what you are talking about.

The More You Know...

Ignorance is bliss.

This morning I’m going to assume that you are woefully ignorant of how our state’s education system operates…because I was and in many ways I still am.

I attended public school for thirteen years.

I attended college for eight years.

I have a Master’s degree in school administration.

I taught in private and public schools for twenty years.

Despite my experience and education I’ve spent most of my life with only a vague notion of who sits up there in the offices of the Oklahoma State Department of Education or what they do or how much they are paid to do it.

One of the reasons for my lack of knowledge was the “brief summary” of the system that was taught in my college classes. Far more emphasis was placed on school finance and legal issues. Another reason for my ignorance was an admitted lack of concern. I knew there was system in place and that like most systems it wasn’t perfect, but I just assumed that I would learn more about it once I was a teacher and gainfully employed.

Part of my assumption was correct. I learned about aspects of the overall system that pertained to me. However, as a new teacher I was mostly concerned with my job duties, curriculum requirements, special education laws, and my salary. I didn’t take the time to research anything else because frankly I didn’t have the time.

Now that I’m retired and there are such major problems confronting my former colleagues who are still working, I’ve devoted a little more time to figuring out who is running the Department of Education and why they seem to be doing such an inadequate job. Sadly, I must tell you that I don’t know the answer to the “why” and I’m not likely to ever figure it out. However, I AM learning more about who is in the office and I’d like to share that with you. Perhaps those of you who are smarter than I am or closer to the top of the system or more involved in issues will find the following information useful:

Most of you are aware that your local school board hires and evaluates administrative staff, adopts the budget, sets goals for the district, and generally serves as the oversight committee for anything that pertains to the campus. Board members are usually dedicated residents of the community, but often have little or no background in education. They must meet certain requirements for election. They attend classes in school finance and legal issues once they are chosen. For more information click here.

At the state level we have the State Board of Education, composed of State Superintendent Joy Hofmeister and board members William Flanagan (Mayor of Claremore), Leo J. Baxter (career military), Cathryn Franks (former teacher), Daniel Keating (insurance executive), Bill Price (criminal attorney), and Bob Ross (attorney).  I don’t know these people. I don’t know much about them. However, I did notice two things when I read their bios. Most have a limited background in education. Most serve on MULTIPLE boards in addition to having demanding careers. In addition to those careers they are charged with “determining the policies and directing the administration and supervision of the public school system of Oklahoma.” I can only assume that there are a LOT more hours in their day than there are in mine…or that some things are lower on their priority list than others. According to Wikipedia here is what we expect from the board:

“The Board organizes and has control over the administrative and supervisory agencies, divisions, and personnel of the State Department of Education.

It is the responsibility of the Board to formulate and adopt the curriculum, courses of study and other instructional aids necessary for the adequate instruction of Oklahoma students in the public schools of the state. 

When deemed necessary by the Board, the Board can require any person having administrative control of any school districts in Oklahoma to make regular or special reports regarding the activities of the schools in their districts. In requiring such reports, the Board has the authority to withhold any or all state funds under its control, to withhold official recognition, including accrediting, until such required reports have been filed and accepted by the Board. 

It is the duty and responsibility of the Board to provide for the health and safety of school children and school personnel while under the jurisdiction of school authorities.”

To be fair, I have to add that the State Department of Education has enough departments, offices, and personnel to make you dizzy just reading the lists. There are deputies and directors and officers and supervisors and assistants and secretaries. So I know that the board isn’t attempting to do all of the above single-handedly. Of course if we really delve deep into the structure of the system the “too many chiefs” analogy comes to mind.

As I said earlier…I have no answers. However, I’ve added a little more knowledge to my understanding of the education system. That’s a good first step in problem-solving. Perhaps I also succeeded in helping you become more informed.

You can visit this State Department of Education website for more information about the board members. Also note that on the same page you can access current meeting information.

And for a look at some of the top education staff salaries, click here.