
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
A dear friend posted that quote on her Facebook page today.
I’ve mentioned several times in the past that it would be a great honor to have “she led a useful life” carved on my headstone. I first came across the phrase about six years ago while working on the biography of Ella Bilbo, one of Caddo’s foremost community leaders. When she died in 1942 the editor of the paper commented “Mrs. Bilbo led a useful life.” Indeed, she was one of the most active women in Caddo’s history. But it wasn’t long before I noticed the phrase repeated in many of the obituaries I recorded:
1910- Jannie Jones- After a long and useful life she died as she lived, honored, trusted and loved by all who knew her best.
1920- Dr. Crossett- He did not fear death, frequently saying he had lived a long and (he hoped) useful life and was ready to go.
1930- R. C. McGraw-Here was a long and useful life, well lived to bless the race of mankind. R. C. McGraw was a man who respected himself and commanded respect. A typical type of Southern gentleman and a Christian without reproach.
1936-B. F. Maddox was 92 years of age Monday, and to celebrate a long and useful life upon earth he invited Rev. A. J. Ward, A. F. McCreary, Lake Brewer, J. C. Davison, and G. A. Crossett to take dinner Monday with him at the home of his daughters Mrs. Birdie Hill and Mrs. W. C. Faulkner. (He died two years later.)
A useful life…such a simple phrase, and yet as Emerson points out, it represents a commitment to making a difference in the world. I think sometimes we feel discouraged because we aren’t making a difference in the BIG world, in the global community that we hear so much about on the news. However, there is much to be admired about those who make a difference in their own small world, in their local community, in their local church, in their local school, in their own family.
We see so much on social media about making memories: traveling, having fun, seeing the world, experiencing new cultures. There is almost universal encouragement to entertain ourselves and the next generation with exciting adventures and innovative gadgets. And there is certainly nothing wrong with having a good time and enjoying our life. But I fear that we sometimes lose sight of our responsibility to make life better for those around us. We forget to teach our children that they are not the “center of the universe” and that their needs/wants shouldn’t always take precedence over those of others. The Bible gives us countless examples of Christians who sacrificed their own desires in order to be useful to others in need. Sometimes those sacrifices meant giving up possessions, but often they just required disciples to set aside their fears, or give up their personal plans in order to fulfill those of God.
Emerson also reminds us that being useful isn’t always a happy endeavor. Sometimes it requires us to be uncomfortable. Sometimes it requires us to do tedious things we’d rather not do. Sometimes it requires us to work with people who challenge our feelings and opinions. Sometimes it requires us to trade our wishes for our duty. In the end I think it is worth the sacrifice.
Happiness is a fleeting emotion. The consequences of a useful life may last an eternity.
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