The View from Here

Looks are Deceiving

Yesterday I took this photo of a tranquil moment at the Hagerman butterfly garden. Trust me…it was the only tranquil moment. A group of very young children was there with three adult women and a man. While they conversed, walked around, and played with the little ones, they completely ignored two older boys who ran wild, whooped and hollered, grappled with each other, and generally caused havoc. They ran over the paths and into the parking lot. At one point they actually ran through the middle of a flower bed. Later they ran within inches of my elbow. When they did that I said, “Seriously…boys!” in a loud whisper that I was sure wouldn’t embarrass them or attract the adults. I needn’t have bothered because the boys were oblivious to anything except their own game. And the adults were so engaged in laughing with each other that I probably could have shouted and gone unnoticed.

You might think that I’m ready to jump on my soap box about rowdy boys, but my concern is the adults who accompanied them and failed to offer them any guidance. Their actions led me to three conclusions: 1. The boys are difficult to control so at some point, years ago, the adults gave up and decided to just accept their behavior. 2. The boys are so rowdy, so often, that their conduct no longer attracts the attention of the adults unless it is truly dangerous. 3. The little ones in their care will soon follow the example of the older ones.

I couldn’t quite figure out the composition or purpose of the group. At first glance I thought it was just a group of parents and their children. However, the ages and the ratio of little ones to “moms” led me to the fearful conclusion that it might be a daycare group. I hope I’m wrong about that.

And my big question for the day was WHY take them to the butterfly garden? If you have a group of children who are too young to understand or appreciate the garden + two boys who are too undisciplined to respect it, why not take your group to a large open park where they can all run and play? Why visit a tiny, manicured garden that is WAY OFF the beaten path in another state???? Yes, like us, they had Oklahoma license plates.

So…looks can be deceiving…though I managed to take a few photos of the flowers, I did so while Gary kept an eye out for the boys who threatened to knock me down at any moment. And we cut our visit short when it was clear that the group intended to stay longer. This morning I’m still fearful for the future safety of those little children and I pray that the adults caring for them will grow in maturity and wisdom.

Playing Games

Gary and I went to a little league game this week and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. At our age we don’t even have to know any of the players- it brings back memories just to watch kids hit a ball and run around the bases. Gary commented that sometimes when he was driving his truck in the summer he stopped near a park and watched a game just to feel like he was participating in a normal pastime. And what could be more normal or American or comforting in times of stress than baseball?

I’ve always had mixed feelings about sports. We spend SO much time, money, effort, and media attention on sports, while academics make do with whatever moments and pennies are leftover. I never was athletic, and other than volleyball, never played on a team by choice. I was hardly anyone else’s choice either, so I suppose the first thing that sports taught me was my physical limitations. Sports also taught me the value of a shared experience. I was always a bit of a loner, preferring my books and thoughts to most other activities. The school’s requirements for physical activity prevented me from being a total recluse. Sports also forced me to solve problems with others and rely on another person’s skills. Anyone who is “type A” or even a bit OCD doesn’t need an explanation of how that affected my life. I didn’t even like group projects in the classroom, much less on the court.

Even though I could expound more on the pros and cons of being an athlete, the major impact of young kids playing games is really on the parents. Parents have always supported their little competitors in whatever ways they could- time, money, encouragement. Despite the requirements of home and jobs and church and civic duties, parents usually manage to be on that bench or bleacher when the whistle blows and the scoreboard lights up. Nowadays it seems even more of a sacrifice when parents often have two or more children in two or more sports. And the motivation for being in attendance is based on more than parental pride and moral support. There is big money in sports and everyone hopes their child will be the beneficiary of it, either in the form of scholarships or a future paycheck. The odds might be against their young athlete being in the one percent of the one percent who actually profit from their chosen sport, but that’s what makes the dream exciting- beating the odds.

A ballgame is also a perfect opportunity for observing and studying human behavior. The bleachers are a microcosm of the local community and often a reflection of how we’re dealing with other aspects of life. I overheard a few disagreements about the management of the teams and the game, some snippets of local gossip, and lots of commiserating over parenting and school and finances. There was the quintessential “sports dad” giving far too much advice through gritted teeth. There was a smiling grandmother offering solace when the bat and ball didn’t connect as planned. There was a young mother holding her breath and fighting to keep silent when she thought for a moment that her son was hurt. There was an obviously exhausted woman trying to just survive the game and go home for a quick dinner and some much deserved rest. If local politicians want to understand their communities they would do well to spend more time at ballgames than at meetings.

Gary and I are planning to attend another game this week. We’ll have fun recalling the days when our own children ran around the bases, but mostly we’ll just enjoy watching anyone do it.

This and That Other Thing...

My father often complained that I just wouldn’t shut up. I suppose I must have talked before I could walk- an assumption based on the fact that I weighed eleven pounds and had short little legs, so they probably couldn’t support me until they had developed some major muscles. But the mouth…I can see that as a genetic fait de accompli…who on the Simmons side of the family didn’t see that coming? Seriously. I admit that I was a handful and often talked too much at the wrong time for the wrong reason about the wrong thing. However, my father quickly learned that my silence could be a bad thing. He was known to comment that if I was quiet I was either “sick”, “pouting”, or “up to something”.

Someone commented recently that I have been relatively “quiet” with regard to my blog and FB and even some emails. I assure you that although I have been both “sick” and “up to something”…well actually several somethings...I have also been remarkably happy for an old woman who seems to be wearing out and I have not been pouting about much of anything. My comparative silence is mostly the result of brain overload and time shortage. There are a dozen ideas, topics, opinions, questions, and plans floating around up there and some of them will make it to the page eventually. In the meantime, here is a hint of what is competing for my daily attention:

1. THE BOOK- Yes, I’ve completed 400+ pages. I spent four hours yesterday inserting maps, photos, charts, lists, etc. Whew, and WHEW! Love, love, love this project and very happy with how it has turned out. HOWEVER, I am paranoid about errors, page breaks, and clarity. So I will be editing and reviewing for at least a few more days before I release my grip on it.
2. The environment... What happened to winter? What IS “shade grown coffee”? What in the world is “transitional organic”? Is my body going to get even with me for using herbicides in the past? Can I create a beautiful garden that also improves my local environment?
3. WHY am I still fat despite a very good diet and lots of exercise? I eat TOO MUCH! Simple solution…STOP doing that. Working on it…
4. Totally squeamish about this leg work. Faced down a lot of major surgeries and procedures in the past. These coming up are causing me a bit of anxiety. Working on my “happy place” and faith in God’s plan. Getting there.
5. What is WRONG with people??? I’ve had some moments lately when I’ve just thought “Be quiet Mary, because I told you so would just sound so arrogant right now.”
6. Too much information. There are a dozen new things I want to learn and I’m reading every evening about something, but my ability to retain is not what it used to be. I have six articles in the works and three “projects”.
7. Joy. The recent photos of proms and sports and Easter celebrations have been such a joy to see! One of the reasons why I love FB is because so many of our family members and friends are scattered all over the country.
8. Time. There is never quite enough and in five minutes I’m supposed to be out the door…so later…I promise to write soon.

Garden Envy

Yesterday I had the privilege of visiting the lovely and well-established garden of a dear friend.  I love older gardens because they have had time to develop their own character and design. Experienced gardeners know that what you plant isn’t always what the garden accepts and allows to flourish. Soil and sun and space determine a garden’s personality. As gardeners we have our preferences, and we tend to buy certain types of plants or attempt to create specific habitats, but in the end we bow to nature…you can’t grow cactus in a swamp.

So although I love certain plants, I know they aren’t going to grow where I currently garden. To enjoy some of them I have to visit someone else’s garden, and I’m perfectly willing to do so. Call me and I’ll be there tomorrow with my camera! (Unless getting there involves airplanes.LOL)

You would think that visiting an older, better, prettier garden would cause me at least a bit of jealousy. However, the only emotion I felt yesterday was joy. I was just so grateful to share in the beauty of spring with someone who works the soil with creativity, patience and determination.

I hope all of you who dig in the dirt are enjoying your best spring ever…and I hope you have the opportunity to visit someone else’s garden.

Easter Memories

This photo wasn't taken at Easter, but I wore the same outfit that year.

Part of the Simmons family in California.

Mom's Springer family in Oklahoma.

I’ve been thinking of hats and eggs and chocolate bunnies this morning. I’m reading the real Easter story in my Bible this week, but I can’t help recalling some wonderful family celebrations that involved all the usual commercial, traditional trappings of the holiday. There is no escaping that we are quite capable of being saints and sinners at the same time, and embracing the sacred and the superficial with the same heart. So I make no apologies for my memories. I simply share them with you.

My parents and siblings in Oklahoma;Gran visiting from CA. 

Oh, Say Can You Sing...

Okay, this is a test. Can you sing “Battle Hymn of the Republic”? How many verses?

Someone recently asked me if students still say the pledge of allegiance in class. I told them I can’t speak for anyone else, but the ones in my classroom said the pledge each day. However, what has been missing from the daily school schedule for many years is patriotic songs. Okay, I’m sure there are schools where someone still leads their class in “It’s a Grand Old Flag” or “The Star Spangled Banner”, but I’m betting that “Yankee Doodle” and “When Johnny Comes Marching Home” are forgotten oldies.

When I was a youthful student we sang patriotic songs in our regular classroom, each day, and learned more than the first verse. In addition to the ones mentioned above, I remember singing “God Bless America”, “My Country ‘Tis of Thee” (aka America) and others like “Home on the Range”. At one school that I attended there was a group of young cadets who wore uniforms, raised the flag each day, and participated in school programs.

Music has the power to inspire and unite us so I hope there are a few teachers out there who are still using that power in their classroom.

Good memories, but now I can't stop humming...

Mary Lives Here

I spent a little time in the yard this morning- mowing, weeding, hanging new feeders, and admiring the poppies. This is the best time in the garden, when it’s warm and wonderful, before it becomes hot and humid and sometimes horrid. I love to be outside. I love to dig in the dirt. I love to see things bloom. But mostly I like to look at the yard and know that I’ve made a difference. And I like to share that difference with you!