The View from Here

Summer's End

I’m not sure that we could ask for a better end to summer than a day of rain and mild temperatures. The weatherman says we’ve only reached the “century mark” three times this summer…so different from last summer’s sizzling agony.

But I shouldn’t be surprised. This summer has been different in so many ways.

Of course losing my father has dominated by thoughts and actions. It’s been a summer of memories, emotions, and challenges. As anyone who has lost a loved one can tell you, death creates change in every aspect of your life and you have to find a “new normal” that works for you. I’m not quite there, but I’m closer.

I’ve thought more about retirement this summer than I ever have before. Although I can’t say exactly when I’ll feel that the time is right, I do know that it will happen within the next few years. And “retirement” will only mean not teaching full-time. These days everyone seems to work at something until they are about seventy. So I’ve been thinking about plans and finances and another job.

I’ve cleaned and sorted and thrown out more “stuff” this summer than ever before. Feels good to get rid of the clutter! Not that I’ve ever been a “hoarder”, but I’ve been overly sentimental about some things. And I’ve just been lazy…you know…stick those papers in a file and forget about them for ten years. I thought it was interesting to hear a doctor say recently that the difference between a hoarder and the rest of us is that their accumulations interfere with their daily living AND they are unable to organize things. Whew! So as long as I’m organized I’m okay.

I’ve neglected my garden more this summer than ever before. I thought about that yesterday as I walked around and looked at the grass that has invaded several beds. I’d be ashamed for anyone to see my yard right now, but it probably still looks okay to an “outsider”. What I noticed yesterday is that the flowers don’t seem to care! They have bloomed just as well this summer as they have any other time, so I guess that “cleanliness” in the garden is mostly about our own expectations. As long as weeds and grasses don’t compete too much for space or water, the flowers are willing to share.

So…summer winds down, school is just ahead, and my new normal life moves forward. 

Happy Birthday Dan!

One of the joys of having four younger brothers has been observing them as they have grown up and established their own lives and families. When my middle brothers, referred to as “the boys”, were toddlers people often mistook them for twins. Barely a year apart, they usually operated as a team and if one could think of something the other was certainly willing to do it. As they grew older it became clear that they were unique individuals, but I still sometimes think of them as “the boys”.  One of them is a year older today and the other will be a year older next month. A great way to finish the summer!

So…happy birthday to my little brother Bobby Dan Simmons! I still remember Dad holding you up in the window of the hospital because children weren’t allowed to visit their moms and new baby brothers! BTW, I don’t have a baby picture of you, so this one of our pregnant Mom will have to do. 

If you're happy and you know it...

That little song came to mind today as I thought about my life. I’ve had my share of troubles and this summer has been challenging, but overall I have a good life and I’m very happy. Each time I meet with and observe a group, as I did yesterday, I am reminded that we are all challenged in some way and doing the best we can. I am so blessed to have the love and support of family and friends. My health is basically good.  I have a loving husband.  I have a great job. I have most of the things I need. I have the time and money to indulge in a few hobbies. I have the freedom to do the things that make my life satisfying. I’m clapping my hands…

Just for fun...

5 x 5

Five things I love to do:

1. Write
2. Read
3. Garden
4. Take pictures
5. Travel

Five things I hate to do:

1. Shop
2. Wait in line
3. Play games (cards, board, online,etc.)
4. Drive/ride over bridges
5. Fold and hang laundry

Five places I love to go:

1. Any beach
2. A zoo or animal refuge
3. Any garden or park
4. Art or photography gallery
5. History museum

Five animals I love to watch:

1. Elephants
2.  Fish
3. Birds
4. Cats
5. Horses

Five things I keep close by:

1. My Bible
2. My camera
3. Flowers
4. A good book
5. Water

Magical

This morning the pond was covered with heavy fog and the garden was dripping with dew. A perfect morning to find one of my favorite forms of art- the spider web. Now, I’m not a big fan of spiders or spider webs in my house, but spiders do their part in the garden and deserve a little respect. And their webs are truly a marvel of engineering and determination. Did you know that some of the lovely silk lines in a web are sticky and some are not? Did you know that a web is constructed in such a way that if part of it is destroyed the rest stays intact? Did you know that spiders build their webs in a specific repeated pattern?  If you want to see that pattern in sequence you can go to How Spiders Work.

Besides being awe-inspiring to look at, these natural wonders remind me of my grandmother and the countless other women of her generation who made crocheted doilies to decorate their homes. Did your grandmother put them on tables and the backs of chairs and sofas? Did she keep one in the center of her kitchen table and place a bowl of fruit on it? Good memories. 

Rest, reading, and relaxation...

I started off this summer with a “to do” list that was quickly put aside when my father died. Other things took precedence for several weeks. There are still some tasks to be done and some issues to deal with in the coming months. However, most of my life has returned to “normal”…whatever that is…and so I have also returned to my list.

Yesterday I was relieved to complete the reorganization of my office closet. A silly undertaking by some standards, but I can’t begin to explain the “mental liberation” the completion of that one task has afforded me. I don’t know how true “hoarders” manage to live with their clutter! I will be the first to remind anyone that dust doesn’t bother me. My floor has not been mopped in two weeks. I will almost always choose to be outside gardening rather than inside cleaning. But clutter and disorder eats away at me for one simple reason: I can’t find things I need!

That fact was brought home to me by finding several photos, letters, documents, and newspaper clippings that I had either forgotten I had or didn’t even know I had. The last part of that statement is possible because after Mom died I simply dumped some of her papers and letters in a box and left them there. Forgot all about that box! And if I hadn’t cleaned out that box I would never have found this wonderful picture of Dad at his favorite place…the “coffee shop”. I don’t think he ever called it the DQ!

I also had a small box of Caddo papers that needed to be filed. I currently have six file drawers packed to capacity with Caddo information. When I started this little history project I had no idea where it would lead. I saved my Caddo computer files to a flash drive the other day and watched in amazement as the screen told me it was saving 6,000+ items! And of course organization is VERY important when I’m compiling a book or trying to help other researchers find something.

So…now I have a little over two weeks to rest, read, and relax before school starts. Of course I have the nagging thought that once I see my classroom closet I’ll have another big project to complete! 

Doing my part...

I was reading Matthew 7:7-12 this morning and it suddenly struck me that I have not been giving enough importance to my own part in the whole process of “ask, seek, knock”. I guess, like a lot of people, I was focused on the generosity of God and the way he blesses our lives when we are in need. But ask, seek, and knock are actions- actions which we must perform if we are to acquire the desires of our heart. Oh, sure, we could just sit around and wait for God to supply all our needs, which he is perfectly capable of doing. Why then, did He give us the free will to want something more? Why tell us to ask, seek, knock?

I think the answer lies in the example God provides for us throughout the Bible- the relationship of a parent and child. We don’t want our children to simply be clones of us. We want them to be unique, independent individuals. We don’t want them to mindlessly obey us. We want them to think for themselves and make wise decisions. We don’t want them to blindly accept whatever we give them. We want them learn to make good choices. We don’t want them to love us simply because we gave them life. We want them to love us because they choose to do so. Knowing that a person has the option of NOT doing something and yet chooses to do it…that’s what makes life interesting!

I think if we closely examine these verses we can see beyond the concept of God as Santa Claus, granting our wishes. And we can understand our part in the practice of claiming what we want.

First of all I think we need to be a child of God before we ask Him for any favors. We all know in our hearts that our generosity toward a stranger has its limits. But our own children usually receive the best and most that we can give them.

Second, I think we need to pay attention to verse twelve and be doing all that we can to treat others with respect and love. We can hardly expect to go to God and say, “Hey, I know I’ve been treating everyone around me like scum, but I want you to treat me like your favorite child.” At the same time, I don’t think we have to be perfect. Everything we do for our children isn’t based on their angelic behavior! And verse eleven acknowledges God’s understanding of our human nature.

Finally, I think we must be careful what we ask for and have faith that God will give us only that which is good for us. I know, I know…verse seven says “Ask and it will be given to you.” However, I don’t think that implies we can just hand God our list. Again, think of your child. If your ten-year-old asks you for a car, he’s not going to get one he can drive! This verse needs to be considered within the context of the chapter and certainly the previous passages. Jesus has just called his disciples and given them the pattern for prayer. He’s given them advice about some of their most basic concerns-money, food, clothing, other people. He’s already told them “…your Father knows what you need before you ask him” (6:8). I think that our asking for something simply shows that we understand our relationship with God, we acknowledge His power over our lives, and we accept His wisdom rather than our own.

Ask implies that we need help.

Seek implies that we need to take action.

Knock implies that we know where to find help! 

Pleasant...

Today was what my mother would have described as “pleasant”. She loved the pleasant seasons- fall and spring- and would have been gloriously surprised by such a day as this existing on the nineteenth day of July. I thought about her today as I enjoyed an afternoon cup of coffee and then wandered around the yard with the camera.

I’ve thought about her a lot lately. As I get older I find myself comparing my actions to hers even more than I did before.  There are some things I do much better than she did, mostly because I have more money, education, and experience. And there are other things that I couldn’t do better if I had a million dollars and lived to be a hundred! Mother always had more patience than I do. She was kinder and more forgiving.

Mom and I sometimes clashed over our differences, but our similarities, especially with regard to the important things in life, kept us firmly bonded even when we were physically or philosophically miles apart.  

I’ve been a bit surprised that Dad’s death has brought back so many memories of Mom, but I guess that makes perfect sense…they were “pair’ for most of my life and now they are both gone. I miss Dad, but I suppose his death has been easier on my heart and soul than Mom’s because I was able to enjoy his company for so many more years. I always felt that my time with her was cut far too short.

Today I spent some time going through a box of mom’s letters, manuscripts, notes, and cards.  It was a pleasant way to spend a pleasant day! 

Loss

Perhaps because of my own loss this summer I have been much more aware of the losses of others. Each day brings news of another tragedy and footage of a grieving parent or spouse. It seems this summer that the whole world has gone crazy! There have been so many small personal misfortunes, national tragedies and huge global disasters this year. And always there is a war somewhere!

I had been concerned, but not truly worried, about the events taking place in other parts of the world, until I heard Bob Schieffer say “I think that we are in a very dangerous time right now. Even more so, perhaps, than at the height of the Cold War with the Soviet Union. In those days we had a clearly identifiable enemy. We knew what they were up to. Now we seem to be immersed in a series of events that are totally out of control.” Bob always seems to understand what is going on and explain things in ways that make sense to me. I respect his experience and his expertise. “Out of control”…that’s what bothers me the most. Because of previous actions and events I’ve lost confidence in our leadership’s ability to take charge of matters in a positive and decisive way. We have so many unsolvable problems in our own country that it’s difficult to see us as arbitrators for others!

But two things keep me grounded and optimistic. First of all, my knowledge of history reminds me that there is nothing new in our world. Perhaps the means and the media coverage have evolved but men have been killing each other since time began. Peace is not something we are likely to ever know.  And the Lord tells us over and over again in His word that he is “in control”. Only He knows the “big picture” and the future of our little planet. I trust his promise that all things will work together for good for those who love Him. 

Wet and Wonderful

I don’t think it’s possible to adequately describe how remarkable it was to stand on the front porch this morning, on the 17^th day of July, and not only get wet, but feel slightly chilled as well. I’m still smiling this afternoon…because it’s still raining. Only those who have experienced drought and seen the effects of long periods of it can appreciate how very precious and rare a day of rain- especially rain without an accompanying destructive wind- can be to those of us on living on the prairie.

I have to admit I didn’t think often about water problems or a lack of rain when I lived in CA.   Sure, there were summer water restrictions and we listened to the reports about farmers needing more water. But CA has irrigation systems including canals. It has huge mountains covered with snow that melts in the spring! It has lakes and rivers and streams. I never seriously worried about how water got to my tap. Now, after years of drought CA is in serious trouble and I pay close attention to their weather reports and dire warnings about the impact their water shortages will have on our grocery prices. I also worry about friends and family members who are there, especially those who are still involved in farming.

Of course there is bound to be some damage someplace that is related to our rainfall. The same front that is blessing us with a couple of inches of rain will flood other areas with five or six inches. But I can’t think about that right now. I can only sit here and enjoy my coffee while I listen to the heavenly sound of raindrops.