The View from Here

A passing grade....

Well, if today was a test, I think I got a “C”. But that’s still a passing grade, so I will take it and be happy.

The day started at midnight with a surprise that literally woke me from a sound sleep and had me groping for the light switch. A scorpion crawled into bed with us and stung me on the leg! That soft part at the edge of the back of your knee is quite vulnerable to pain! So I missed some sleep while it throbbed. I still woke up a little after 4am, so by 8am I was ready for a one-hour mid-morning nap. Dull headache and leg pain until noon. I did manage to do a few chores and walk around with the hose for a while.

Early afternoon I had an appointment with the ophthalmologist to go over my DNA results. In case you missed this saga, I was supposed to get the results two weeks ago, but the lab sent the wrong ones.  So today I got the happy news that on a scale of 1 to 5, I’m a 2, which makes me just slightly more likely than the general public to get macular degeneration. It runs in our family, so that is a good thing to know. What WAS a surprise was that the report also included my BMI. Now if all of our doctors, including our eye doctors and our dentists start telling us that we are fat, then I might really have to start losing weight! LOL But I do understand the concept that our overall health affects everything, even our eyes.

Late afternoon is where I nearly got an “F”. I reported for my MRI and since this was my second one this month, I thought I was prepared…that is until they told me I had to go into the tube “head first”. Now I’m not generally claustrophobic and I’ve had several MRI procedures over the past ten years. But this is the first time I’ve been asked to put my head in a little brace and slide it into a narrow machine. The one I had a few weeks ago was an MRI of my knee, so only the lower half of my body was in the tube. For some reason I panicked for a few minutes. I had to pace a bit, talk to Gary, look at the machine again and take a really big breath. Prayed a lot during the next 45 minutes!!! Thought about all of you, talked myself into staying calm, kept my eyes closed. I’m not going to tell you it was pleasant, (SO noisy!), but I’m glad that I endured.

I probably deserve a “D” for going to Braum’s for a sundae and coffee afterwards, but I needed some soothing! I have a sundae about once a year and I decided that today was the day!!

Hope tonight is uneventful…

 

Walking and Talking

I told someone recently that I feel blessed if I am “walking and talking” and I don’t understand why so many people are always so down and depressed and discouraged and distressed. As many of you know, my mother was bipolar, so I have been there, done that, seen it, lived it. She was very open about her condition and wrote about it in order to help others. She would not mind in the least that I remind you of it now. And she would not want any of us to be depressed about life.

The past few years, and the experiences of several friends and family members have provided me with all the impetus I need to be aware of my blessings and to be grateful for my life. And I’ll be totally honest with you…it’s not always easy for me and I know it isn’t always easy for you. Relationships, work, finances, illness, pain, unexpected problems, national disasters, weather and a million other things can wreak havoc with our plans to be positive and peaceful even for a day. However, in order to live a happy, productive life our overall attitude has to be optimistic. We must be able to see the good in something. We must be able to find joy somewhere. We must be able to feel hopeful about our ability to handle and even overcome whatever obstacles and problems come our way. Many of us do this with the help of the Lord. If you choose something else I would simply ask Dr. Phil’s question, “Is that working for you?” If not…

I find several things help me stay generally positive about life: my faith in God, family and friends, knowledge, and work. My faith in God continues to grow and change as I get older. The more I understand about God and his purpose for my life, the less I care about the priorities of the world and the silly things that others worry about.  I’m more aware now of the value of family and friends and the hazards of being alone in the world. I used to be more competitive and I worried about being the best and being recognized for whatever I was doing. Now I find myself more concerned about encouraging others and finding ways to help those who are struggling with problems that I’ve already faced and conquered. I find that knowledge is power and the more I understand about a person, problem, or situation the more likely I am to make wise decisions about it. I try not to rush in and get all excited about something until I’ve analyzed it and considered several options. And finally, work keeps me busy and happy. I know that isn’t the case if you haven’t chosen your work wisely. Oh, and don’t think I don’t have some of those “pull my hair out” days, too. You can’t leave your house and work anywhere without those…but overall, I think to have a joyful life you must enjoy what you do for a living. It takes up so much of our time that to be in a miserable job is like slow death. If you are stressed out daily by your work or co-workers it is taking a toll on your health, whether you are aware of it or not.

Walking and talking are two of our most important activities, yet we all have friends and family members who have great difficulty walking because of pain, disease, accidents, amputations, and other problems.  We all know people who can’t talk easily because of cancer and respiratory problems. So I just think that those of us who can still do both should count ourselves blessed and keep everything else in perspective!  

 

Happy Birthday Dan!

Happy birthday to one of my baby brothers! I think I'll keep him...

Last Sunday in July

Wow! There went the summer! For me, the annual Caddo Rodeo and the Buffalo BBQ signal the end of summer. Yesterday was the perfect day for both. The weather was the best we’ve ever had for the events and the turnout for the day was good, especially considering the many options and obligations everyone has on any given weekend. The parade was short, but enjoyable, and the Caddo Rodeo Club is to be commended for enduring a muddy weekend for their annual rodeo. The Town Restoration Association, with the help of many volunteers, served a great lunch as always.  I was told that the meat for the BBQ, supplied by The Rib Crib in Durant, was excellent. And the silent auction offered an outstanding array of items. If you didn’t attend this year you will want to make sure to mark your calendar for next year!

This photo shows our laugh of the day. No, I didn’t stage this shot. I was practically out the door to go to town when I spotted this clever critter on my alarm clock. I took the photo, captured him by letting him climb on a spoon, and put him outside where he belongs. This is an old house with lots of cracks and crevices and it isn’t unusual for us to have stray scorpions or wasps or spiders inside, but this is the first praying mantis. BTW, I do spray baseboards and such each month, so all other insects seem to stay in their place…outside. Didn’t want anyone to be afraid to visit!

The big critters continue to visit each night. The most visitors we had at any one time this month, at least that I viewed, was eleven: eight raccoons and three skunks. We welcome them because as long as we put a little dog food out in the back yard they no longer bother our trash, patio, or compost bin. I know…I mourn the loss of the grapes, but that would have happened anyway. And if you city people don’t know it, there are more raccoons in most major cities than we have here in the country. Cities offer far more for them to eat, and more places for them to hide. If you haven’t seen reports about them, you should see the PBS show, Raccoon Nation.

The yard and garden have stayed green this July and we are still mowing each week, thanks to some perfectly timed rainfall. We measured two inches of rain from this recent storm. And I hesitate to even use that word, because there was very little wind or lightning with it in our area. I spoke to many local gardeners yesterday and the consensus was that we have been truly blessed this summer!

I also spoke with several teachers yesterday. Ready or not, we know that it is time to change gears and get ready for the classroom! Some local schools start next week! You will be happy to know that most are eagerly anticipating their new students. And the younger teachers are ready for their own children to return to school! lol You know how bored and lonely some of them get by the end of summer.

I’m feeling good this morning and I know that is a blessing, especially after all the walking I did yesterday. I’m also feeling so thankful for the friends and family members I spoke with yesterday. Even in a small community it is easy to get busy and not connect with others for weeks, or even months at a time. Facebook and emails are great, but seldom as satisfying as those face to face, eye to eye, heart to heart conversations we all crave. And I am also conscious of those who were absent yesterday because of health issues. I pray that those friends and relatives will be out and about again soon.

It is very early and most of you are still sleeping as I sit here typing. I am looking forward to a quiet day of gratitude for a great summer. I hope your last Sunday of July is blessed! 

Whitewashing History

“The second-largest city in Oklahoma is embroiled in controversy over whether to change the name of a large section of downtown that is currently named after an early town leader who was a prominent member of white supremacy group the Ku Klux Klan.”

Yesterday, when I read that Tulsa is considering removing the name of founder Wyatt Tate Brady from public view, I was astonished by the ignorance of those who think we can rewrite the ugly chapters of our past. History is about truth, even when it is repulsive and difficult to understand.

On the one hand I understand the “oops, we made a mistake” factor if the city honored Mr. Brady without fully researching his past or understanding his role in KKK activities. But on the other hand, he WAS one of the founding pioneers of the city, an entrepreneur, a politician, and a very active Tulsa booster. Can the current city government erase the dark side of his past, and theirs, by taking his name off a sign? I think not.

Our ancestors were not saints. They were flawed human beings who lived complex lives. You can start with the signers of the Declaration of Independence and follow a trail of lies, money scams, sex scandals, racism, violence, and drug/alcohol abuse that leads right up to the White House front door today. Do you think for a minute that Brady’s name was the only one on the KKK membership list? The KKK was once believed to be group of citizens who were simply upholding the sanctity of marriage, respect for womanhood, and the safety of the community. Many people joined before the group was associated with senseless violence. Here are two substantiating items from the Caddo Herald, 1922. I have many more in my files.

Ku Klux Visit the Nazarene Meeting

Sunday night fourteen robed members of the Ku Klux Klan visited the Nazarene meeting, giving the Hudsons $15 in money and a letter to read, asking to be dismissed with prayer. In the letter several significant statements were made, these being the most prominent:

“The day has passed when the husband whips his wife; or the alley rats make unkind remarks about our wives, mothers, sisters and friends; the bootlegger must go; and you who make a habit of disturbing public worship, beware; our eyes are upon you.”

If Klansmen were not good men they could not subscribe to such good principles.

 

K.K.K. Visit Freeny

Rev. Roy J. Jacobs held services at Freeny Chapel Sunday, Oct. 23^rd.

He reports that during the night service, seventeen robed members of the order of Ku Klux Klan visited the church and presented as a contribution to the church, $15.

He and the church heartily thanks the Klan for the money and the visit.

 

Caddo boasted 80 Klan members during that time period and I have a hunch that a couple of those members have their names on our streets. A simple Google search will give you the names of governors, senators, and other officials who were not only candid about their membership in the KKK, but were re-elected to their offices. Some of them were horrible racists and did terrible things while in office. I hope there are NOT streets named after them, but again, that may have been a difficult decision for those in charge at the time.

Here is another example of a famous person with an infamous past. Anyone who lives in Bryan County should at least recognize the last name. Many people in Caddo will realize they are related to him. In newspapers across the county his obituary was titled “Famous Killer Dead”.

1908-“Turner Turnbull is dead at his home east of Caddo, in the Choctaw Nation and the man who made his Winchester the law, and scattered graves of horse thieves all along the valley of the Blue and Boggy rivers in what he believed to be a righteous war of extermination, went to his final rest an honored man in his community. For many years, dating back into the early 70s, the name of Turnbull was interwoven with the history of the Choctaw Nation, a terror to outlaws and thieves who claimed the country as their own.”

Turner sounds like a law-abiding citizen doing everyone a favor by ridding the Territory of horse thieves. However, you have to read carefully; he did what he did because he “believed” he was in the right. He and his group of self-appointed rangers had no legal authority and usually killed people on the spot, without a trial. He shot or hung horse thieves, but during one manhunt also beat a young boy senseless, and at another time mistakenly killed a man who was NOT doing anything wrong.  

 

“When Turner Turnbull died he was a man of wealth, whose word was as good as his money; a director in the Bokchito National Bank, a Mason, and a respected citizen. If he ever regretted the bloody part he took in the outlaw warfare of the lawless days, he never made it known.”

 

Few men die without any regrets.

 

Another problem with this idea of whitewashing the past is that there can’t be an end to it. If we are going to remove the names of famous people who behaved badly then we had better get ready to include the names of any and all political figures involved in sexual scandal or financial deceit. Oops! There go all of the Franklin, Jefferson, Kennedy, Clinton and Weiner memorials!  

 

If you ask me...

There should be colleges all over the country where our young people can get two years of education- free. I think we should even give them the books and supplies they need! The classes they take should be basic, chosen from a prearranged list, and good grades should be mandatory. In fact, I think students could sign a contract that says if they fail then they will be required to pay for the classes. And what if we gave “A” students a discount on the next two years?

Radical? Not really. Naive? Maybe.  However, if you look at the history of education and you consider the evolution of society, our high school graduates are no longer prepared to do anything productive in the real world. Oh, you can tell me all about the geniuses and exceptions who have created businesses and solved world problems and done just fine without a college degree. They have always existed and always will…but the majority of young people need something more to lead them down the path toward a rewarding and self-sufficient life. How well could you survive on the current minimum wage?

If you look at high school curriculums most of them are geared toward “college preparation” yet each year we seem to make it more and more difficult for the average teenager to go to college. Tuition rates get higher, interest on loans increases, the cost of living (on campus or off) rises-  and I just heard yesterday that parents are now contributing less than ever before to their children’s college expenses.

I think there are two important things we are overlooking in the “big picture” of our ever-changing world. First of all, the majority of our high school graduates are children who have been spoiled, coddled, protected, and supported in ways that would confuse and astonish our great-grandparents’ generation. They need more time to mature, become independent, and prepare for employment. Second, it benefits ALL of us if the majority of our citizens are educated and self-supporting. Wouldn’t it be better to give our young people money and motivation when they can use it to build a better future, rather than waiting a few years and giving them money when they fail? We pay for people to eat. We pay for people to be in institutions. We pay for people to be in jail. Why not pay for people to be in college?

Just a thought…

Happy Cousins Day!

I intended to post this morning and got distracted. How could I possibly forget Cousins Day when I have so many???? Hope your day was great!! 

The Early Bird

Yesterday my daughter suggested that I view a photography site. It had some striking images taken by some very talented photographers. I remarked to her afterwards that I am NOT a photographer; I’m just a woman with a camera. There is a difference. I know it and you know it. And it’s pretty obvious when you see it.

That isn’t some sort of false modesty on my part. It isn’t my clever way of soliciting compliments. It’s just a fact of life. But along with the knowledge that I do not have the skills or equipment to compete with those who do, is the fact that I enjoy every moment that I spend behind the camera and I do not plan to put it down just because I don’t acquire money or fame with it.

And sometimes I do take a shot that I am proud to share with others. Most of those are a matter of being in the right place at the right time.

Lately, that right time is in the yard very EARLY! I found that not only is the early bird out gathering worms, but the flowers are opening and if I am quick I will get a photo of them before they become someone’s breakfast.

Alas, I was NOT quick enough to gather breakfast for myself.  Yep…90% of the grapes are gone. Overnight. Oh well…

I hope there is something in your life that gives you joy and satisfies your urge to be creative. If not…you need to find it! My grandmother always said, “All work and no play leads to a dull life!” 

My Own Dead People

I get involved with Caddo’s history and with genealogy research for other people and sometimes I neglect to keep up my work on my own family. There are gaps in our family tree that have been nagging at me for weeks now, so I have spent the last few days doing some library and online work on the Banta and Alexander families. I have to be so very careful when I work on the Alexander family, because there are Alexanders on BOT H sides of my family. There are even four “Thomas” Alexanders! Those middle names become so important.

One of the things I did this week was re-read a letter that one of my great aunts wrote about coming to Oklahoma in a covered wagon. It really strikes me as amazing that a woman I knew and talked to and ate with moved with her family from Texas to Oklahoma in a covered wagon and worried about Indians attacking them. Progress and change are so constant that we often don’t realize how much can happen in one lifetime. I’m so glad that she took the time to write down some of the key events in her life.

I was also reminded that my great-uncle was a county attorney and involved in several infamous cases. I came across the newspaper account of one of the more gruesome cases and it made me shudder to think of him in that courtroom. Knowing the occupations of our ancestors helps us see them as real people. There were lots of farmers, inn keepers, tax assessors, constables, writers, musicians, and builders in our family tree!

As I’ve collected a few more obituaries and funeral records I’ve also had to add to the list of tragic deaths in our family. Many of my ancestors died in horrible accidents. But those stories are all part of the package. History is comprised of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone will ever read all this information about our family. And my belief is that yes, someone in the next generation or the one after that will want to read about the Banta’s wagon trip to Oklahoma:

“There were high sideboards and what was called an overfit which was just a flat bed that fitted on top of the sideboards and made it secure. On this was placed a mattress and that was where we three children slept during the trip. In the bed of the wagon was another bed on which daddy and mother and the baby slept. In addition to the two beds there were dishes, cooking utensils, clothes for the family, and provisions for the journey. Besides feed for the horses and a few essential tools for daddy’s trade, that being a carpenter, a farmer, and a woodsman all rolled into one. I do seem to remember too a box of books. Daddy was always a bookish kind of man. I took it all as a matter of course then, but I’ve often wondered how they managed to pack so much into one wagon. Over it all were the wagon bows and the tarpaulin, “wagon sheet” we called it, which kept out the rain and gave a measure of protection from the wind and sun. This was how we started the trek into Oklahoma.”

 I hope you know a few things about your ancestors. 

Mary

I never quite understood the concept of aligning oneself to others according to the color of their skin. As a child I never thought of myself as “white” or concerned myself with whether my friends were black, white, brown, or somewhere in between. What separated or united my peers wasn’t race, or culture. No. What created our little cliques was money and location.

I spent most of my early childhood in California working long hours in the fields alongside Mexican children. Some of them were Mexican-American children, but I suspect many were not. I never asked. I went to a school filled with a dozen races and a variety of gangs, groups, factions, and religions. I spent most of my time with three white children and four Mexican children from our rural neighborhood. The white children were a bit difficult for me to relate to because all three lived in middle-class households that were like islands amidst the economic ruin that was slowly but surely dissolving our community. One of the white children was the daughter of the foreman of a huge packing plant that employed many of the other parents in the area. One was the son of the school secretary and her businessman husband, who had owned a home down the street from school for many years. The other was the daughter of a local rancher, also in the area for years.

I had much more in common with my brown classmates. We lived in rental houses. We worked in the fields all summer and after school and on weekends. We were poor, and struggling to have a bit of hope that we would ever escape the toil of the fields. I didn’t have to explain to them how weary I was of dragging a cotton sack or cutting grapes for hours on end. When we got together we didn’t feel self-conscious about how we were dressed or that our moms cut our hair.

There were few black kids in our school simply because most lived in the nearby city. In those days it would have been very unusual to find a black child working in the fields with us or wandering the streets of our rural community. But since I had lived and gone to school in several other areas I had some experience with black children and my best friend in the third grade was as dark as any child I have ever known. My transient life was blessed with friends, acquaintances, and neighbors from around the world.

If there were divisions between “them” and “us”….between “those kids” and “me” they were almost always money vs. poverty, and city vs. country. And during my years at Teague there were also divisions between gangs. Gang wars were violent and frequent, and almost always Mexican against Mexican.

I offer that review of my background as the foundation for my current beliefs about race, racial profiling, prejudice, protesting, and politics.

I watched Meet the Press this morning, which focused on a discussion of President Obama’s recent speech regarding race.  It featured African American leaders from government, education, and the media. What struck me first was that each of the guests looked decidedly bi-racial. I could be wrong, but that light caramel coloring is usually indicative of a mixed background. And a mixed heritage means some choices can be made about acknowledging that heritage. Even our president chooses to be “African American”, even though that isn’t entirely accurate. I’ve had blond blue-eyed students listed on my classroom roll as “Native American” and I’ve attended college with black-skinned classmates who have also enrolled as Native Americans because of the benefits attached to that label. My own background is Dutch, German, Irish, French, Cherokee, Seminole, and Choctaw, but if I had more than a drop of the latter I might be tempted to label myself as a Native American and cash in on some benefits. I worked for several years with a woman who was Chinese and Egyptian, but thought of herself as Egyptian because her husband, an Egyptian, preferred not to call attention to her mother.

We all want to be unique and special and individual and respected for who we are…until a label or affiliation or membership can somehow benefit us! I believe in the power of group action and there are many ways and reasons to join together to achieve things. However, I do not believe in blindly joining protest movements based on limited knowledge, tenuous relationships, and national media coverage. I’m not going to jump on a band wagon just because everyone on it is old, white, fat, and female.

As for “racial profiling” being a national practice, I would not only agree, but would point out the fact that we use our own profiling skills each and every day. It’s the basis of our survival!! What do you do when you are traveling in a strange city? What do you do when you visit outside your own neighborhood? What do you do when you shop at Walmart? You look at people and access their threat to you based on your past experience with similar people. People with certain looks, movements, habits, or clothing, trigger responses in us and our “alert” system is activated by them. Police officers, airport officials, school administrators, and others who work with the public are aware of “types” of people who are most likely to commit crimes in their jurisdiction. Believe it or not “white, teen, girls” were one of our target groups of shoplifters when I worked at Macy’s. They stole things as a dare or as part of a group initiation. Anytime we saw three or more young girls enter the store together we alerted the security staff. That wasn’t racial profiling, it was caution based on the past incidences of theft at our store.

I know I’m rambling as usual, but my primary point is that we cannot hope to eliminate racial prejudice by either protest or legislation. It hasn’t worked with gun control. It hasn’t worked with drugs or alcohol. It hasn’t worked with moral issues. We are what we are- products of our genes, environment, and experience. Only changes in our personal relationships and experiences will lead to changes in our community, our nation, and our world. I don’t want to be labeled as white or female or Okie or even as a Christian. None of those labels is the sum total of who I am and each will be interpreted by someone else in a different way from my own- based on their experience. I try to be as normal and non-threatening as possible, but I can’t prevent other people from judging me based on their perception of my looks and actions.  

Our country is an open wound right now. There is a tragedy each and every day in America and yet we have chosen this one to unite or divide us. Chosen. That’s the blessing and the curse of our country. We are free to choose, even when we choose to do or say or think the wrong thing. I choose to do the best I can to treat each person in my life with dignity and respect.

So just call me Mary… it’s the only label I really need.