The View from Here

Reflections on a Year

I know my daughter, Karen, has a sense of humor because yesterday she asked me if I’m going to stay awake until midnight to watch 2010 make its appearance. Yeah right! After laughing hysterically, I told her I’ll be asleep and just trust that it happens- I don’t have to be a witness!

It’s been amusing to be home this week and watch the morning news programs. Each has offered numerous suggestions for food, drink, clothing, and activities to celebrate and welcome the New Year. I know many people will be cheering and kissing at midnight, perhaps just because they have survived another year. Others will get so drunk that tomorrow they won’t remember what they do as the clock strikes twelve.

Something most of us will do today, and probably have done all week, is reflect on the past year and wonder what the new one will bring. According to the news 2009 was a very difficult year for most Americans. War, economic woes, political strife, social changes, crime, and even the weather have combined to cause financial and emotional hardships in many families. I’ve seen much of that in the parents of my students. However, 2009 was one of the best years I can remember for us, especially for me.

The year began for us with the arrival of some much-needed, long anticipated “extra” money. I don’t think we’ve ever had extra money before. I didn’t blog about it, or even talk about it very much, but we finally received some money from a real estate transaction that had been “in process” for nearly five years. When we first learned about the situation we were excited and had lots of plans and ideas about how to spend the money. At first we were going to sink all of it into a house or land. Then we talked about investing some of it or putting it into a retirement fund. Eventually we just stopped talking about it. As the years passed we didn’t forget about the money, but we started to wonder if God was just teasing us. Of course during the third year and into the fourth we decided it had all been a hoax and would never actually happen. Then out of the blue I got an email that said the powers that be had completed their fact checking and their forms and we could expect a check within a few weeks. Lots of discussion followed! When we finally got the money we used it to pay off some bills, buy a few “toys”, take a vacation, add to our savings, and help some other people. So we are ending the year in better financial shape than we would have been without that windfall. (Yes, the IRS is getting a full accounting.) And the money allowed us to do the best thing we have done in years- go on an extended vacation.

When I was growing up a vacation was a privilege of people who had white collar jobs and much more money than my family. My friend Elaine went on vacations because her father was a ranch foreman. My friend Tom went on vacations because his mother was a school secretary and his father was a businessman. My own family usually spent the summer, and sometimes holidays or spring break, moving! If my class enrollment is any indication, poor families are still doing that. We did things and saw things- like the Petrified Forest or the Grand Canyon- because they happened to be between California and Oklahoma or Texas. I suppose if my father had not been a “wild and crazy guy” with a sense of adventure we wouldn’t have done anything more than drive from A to B. I must remember to thank him for letting us experience some of the wonders of our country. (This photo of us was taken somewhere between CA and OK in 1964.)

Our vacation this summer was like a dose of mega-vitamins for our relationship and certainly a shot of adrenaline for our relationship with our daughters, especially Karen. Gary and I spent our drive talking and remembering old times and making plans for the future. We relaxed and let each day just flow. We took time to appreciate our good health and our great friendship.

The past ten years have not been the best for our relationships with our children and grandchildren. Absence may make the heart grow fonder and cause us to long for the company of loved ones, but it does not improve our relationships. There is just something about us that needs to see and touch and experience things together in order to stay close. We’ve missed a lot of that. Karen has traveled to see us a couple of times and so has Katrina. We’ve been to California and Vermont. But we’ve always been in a hurry or traveled for a specific event that demanded most of our time and attention. This summer we not only had the privilege of seeing both of our daughters and all of our grandchildren, but of doing so without an agenda, and with the benefit of a little extra money and time. God took care of that with our windfall and with Gary’s accident. Breaking his leg just two weeks before our vacation seemed like the potential for disaster, but in fact turned into a blessing when he was able to take six weeks off to recover. No one, including his doctor, seemed to think it would matter if he recovered in CA instead of OK!

So we spent time relaxing with our children. We got to visit with Karen in her home. We played games. We took pictures. We talked and we laughed. We went to our favorite place- the beach. But more important, we got to know each other again! It had been seven long years since we had seen each other. Too long, I know, but personal and financial circumstances kept working against earlier vacation plans.  Karen and Taylor had moved since my last visit and I had never seen Taylor’s school or Karen’s office. There was so much that I knew nothing about! Now, when we talk on the phone there is a familiarity with her home and her town and her life that was missing before. I treasure that above anything else that our vacation gave us.

Our time with Katrina was more limited because of her schedule, but we shared some family history and memories with her family during our visit to the Underground Gardens. We ate together and shared some laughs. We talked and planned. She and the children had been to see us in 2007, and she is still in the same home that we visited in 2005, so I didn’t feel as disconnected from them. We will have more time with her next June when we visit for Hope’s graduation.

Because God blessed us with extra time and money we also had the joy of visiting with my niece Megan and her family in Utah. I had never spent time with her, hadn’t even seen her since childhood, except for a couple of brief visits at Mother’s house, and a quick hug at her sister’s funeral. We have discovered many common interests and have a great new relationship.  Getting to know her children has been like adding more grandchildren to our life.

Of course I also got to visit with some dear friends and Gary got to see his only brother while we were in CA. And we got to experience a bit of our old life while we were there. It served to reinforce our conviction that we made the right choices in the past and that Oklahoma is indeed where we need to be now.

So Gary and I will long remember 2009 as the year of our “great vacation” and I will remember it fondly as a year of renewed relationships and profound joy.

I hope that 2009 created some great memories for you as well.

I pray that December of 2010 will find us reflecting on a year of health, wealth, and happiness.

Happy New Year!  

Cute Baby

We've had internet problems all day so I'll keep this short. Just finished scanning all the baby album photos and can't resist posting these three of Robert.

One Good Thing Leads to Another

I am loving our new television! Who knew that commercials could look so good? J And golf! Oh, my goodness. Gorgeous! But the best thing is that I can now watch OETA and PBS. I didn’t even know I was missing them, but Robert said that with a newer antenna we would be able to get them. So last night he hooked us up and I watched the biography of Louisa May Alcott. “This Old House” will be on my new schedule, as well as “Victory Garden”. Yeah! Educational television- not an oxymoron after all.

I’m still working on the photo album project. Gary has identified some photos for me and we’ve enjoyed discussing some of them. His family history is a bit complicated since his mother died when he was four and his father remarried, twice. The album disaster was just the encouragement I needed to copy the photos and send to Robert. I’m also putting them on a CD, which I should have done as soon as we had the capability. Our discussions have also reminded me of the similarities in our backgrounds. We have fond and not-so-fond memories of farming!

I went to the genealogy library yesterday to do a little last-minute research before the holiday. I was greeted with a big smile and a copy of my book! It will be available for sale next week and I will have the details for you here and on my Caddo blog. I’m very excited about it because even though it really isn’t a “creative” work, I think it will help a lot of people understand our community and research their relatives.

Like many women I’m busy cleaning and organizing and getting ready for the New Year- a little tweaking of the files and the pantry and the laundry room and closets; a little purging of old papers, magazines, clothes, books. I’m getting things ready for the trash man, Goodwill, the library and others. I hate to throw out anything that I think someone else might use.  

Next on the agenda is garden planning! Since we have a 70% chance of snow today it may be the perfect time to look at catalogs and dream of green!

Please pray for my friend Donna who is having heart surgery this morning.

Be safe. Be warm. Be well.

New Year- New Plan

Every year I plan to lose weight and improve my health. Every year I vow to eat better, exercise more, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…

Come on, admit it, you do the same thing.

We’re Americans! It’s the American way! Christmas guilt guides our grandiose plans to “get in shape and stay in shape”! We start cleaning out the pantry and the refrigerator on December 29 and hope that by New Year’s Day we will be a new person, ready to tackle the task at hand with new resolve!

Gym memberships go up in January and are abandoned by Valentine’s Day.  

Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and Nutri System are bombarding us with advertisements this week. Even MSN says “Get your diet back on track after holiday splurging.”

Well, you know me. I have to be different. If I’ve failed at everything else, then there has to be a better plan. I’ve been thinking about several health-related things for the past month, yes, since John’s heart attack. My first major conclusion was that this is within my control. It’s my body. I’m the chief cook, shopper, and food manager in my household. Gary has very few food issues and will eat nearly anything I put in front of him. I don’t have children to nourish. I’m not trying to be a gourmet. Just trying to feed two old people who need to control their high blood pressure and cholesterol. If we eat too much salt or meat or desserts there is no one to blame except me. So I need to be the one to make the major changes. Gary is just going along for the ride. (Poor guy always takes the back seat and seldom complains!)

My next conclusion was that I need to start this New Year with a commitment to the people who matter most to me- my family and friends. So instead of the standard resolutions of yesteryears, I’m going to put a little structure into our time together. Each and every Monday I’m going to give you the health and diet tips I’ve gleaned through the previous week and I’m going to report my progress toward wellness. I will not tell you my starting weight because that doesn’t matter. I will tell you my how much I lose each week. I will tell you my progress in adding more movement to my daily life. I will tell you if my numbers on those pesky lab tests improve (checkup time in February). Fair enough? If you don’t like that plan, you are welcome to skip Mondays, but I expect you back here promptly on Tuesday morning!

Okay. Here is the beginning of my new plan:

1.    I plan to move. I don’t get enough exercise, especially in the winter. I have a perfectly good treadmill and I need to get on it. I’m not going to say “I’ll walk 30 minutes each day”. I’m just going to say that I’m getting on it today and I’ll let you know next Monday how many days I continued to walk. I also have to stretch and I’m incorporating that into some key activities, such as sitting here at the computer. Have to get up every so often and move! I’m not going to tell you how to add movement to your day because there are dozens of options- stairs vs. elevator, farthest parking spot at work, walking breaks, less television, etc. Let’s just aim for more and see what happens.

2.    I’m making a list. Instead of concentrating on what to remove from my diet, I’m going to focus on what to add. There are all kinds of lists available- super foods, brain foods, cancer-fighting foods, heart-healthy foods.  I plan to create my own list of foods that I like that are also good for me. My theory is that if I’m adding more healthy foods to my daily diet, there won’t be room or desire for the unhealthy ones. I’ll post my personal list here, in the left column, later in the week. First on my list is fruit. I love fruit, but for some reason I’ve gotten away from eating it on a daily basis. This week I have fresh, frozen, canned, and dried fruit in the house. My goal is to eat at least one fruit each day.

3.    I’m going to do some healthy reading. I have a subscription to Prevention and I’m also going to find some websites to add to my weekly browsing. If you have a magazine or website suggestion, let me know.

4.    I’m changing my plate. I’ve read that we like to fill our plates and I think that is true. I have huge dinner plates. I don’t want to switch to my salad plates because they are a little too small for a successful transition. So…I’m going to treat myself to a special plate. I’m going shopping today anyway, so I’m going to look for something pretty and motivating that is just the right size.

5.    I’m looking for hidden sodium. I’ve already made an amazing discovery- there is a cereal that tastes good that has zero sodium! It’s Kashi Cinnamon Harvest. Did you know that already and you forgot to tell me?? Don’t keep secrets. If you know about a packaged food that has very low sodium, let me know.

Enough for today! Let’s make this the year we get serious about our health.

 

A Cautionary Tale

If you own one of those old photo albums with the self-adhesive pages go check it right now! If it is cradling someone’s baby pictures, as mine was, take them out. I only had two left in our collection- everything else had long ago been converted to albums with pockets, or to photo storage boxes. Robert’s baby photos and some childhood photos of Gary were in matching albums given to me by his grandmother.  I thought they were great at the time- we all did.  Big mistake!

I was looking for a photo today and took Robert’s album out. Not only is it disintegrating, but some of the photos- many of them Polaroids- are discolored. I immediately dug out Gary’s album and it is actually in better shape. Maybe because it isn’t opened as often or because it was in a different location or because the book was somehow different, it only had a couple of bad pages. However, I completely removed all of the photos from both books and will be scanning them this week. I’ll make a CD of the copies and then put the originals in new albums.

It was very difficult to remove some of the photos, so if you attempt it, be slow and careful. I actually had to cut around some of the photos and leave the cardboard behind them. One bonus benefit of this event was that I discovered that some of the photos were labeled on the back. That was especially great for two “mystery” photos I’d always wondered about. 

One of my personal goals for this year is to copy more of our family photos, label them, and send them to my children. I also plan to work on the gaps in our family history. I’ve worked for other families for years and have let our family genealogy sit on the shelf. Time to get back to it.

So…lesson learned. Be careful where and how you store your photos, and check them at least once a year to see how they are surviving.

And of course I can't post this without including a couple of my husband's photos. Always a helmet on his head or a camera on his neck!

 

 

New Joys and Toys

I usually get an elephant or two for Christmas, but this year was an absolute elephant party!!! My friends and family members know how much I love the little critters. My overflowing shelves are testimony to the fact that I don’t NEED any more elephants, but need is seldom a consideration for collectors. So I now have two new elephant statues, an elephant ornament, an elephant watering can, an elephant ceiling fan pull, an elephant water bottle, and an elephant cookie cutter to add to my herd. And I have joined the virtual world enjoyed by my granddaughter, who sent me an elephant Webkinz named Zariba. Now our pets can visit each other online (if Nana can figure out the website!).  Perhaps best of all- I now have an elephant notepad and keychain to add to my purse. I’ve always had a stuffed elephant riding in my vehicle and I have two elephant statues on my desk at school. However, I’ve never carried one in my purse! Too much?? Never!  

Gary and I bought a gift together this year- a new television- but we waited until Robert’s arrival on Christmas day to let him “unwrap” it because we weren’t quite sure about our ability to do it ourselves. It’s not technology that is bad- it’s the fear of technology. LOL  I can’t quite decide if the 78-page “viewer’s guide” that accompanied it is intimidating or reassuring. I don’t know what half of it means, but if I have a problem or question, maybe I can find the answer to it! I’m just happy that the picture is bigger and clearer and it doesn’t have the big fuzzy blue streak that our old screen had developed.  And we no longer have to have a converter box with its separate remote.

The best gift each year is talking on the phone to my daughters and their children. We talk all the time, but the Christmas phone call is just special. This year we had the added blessing of speaking with my niece Megan and her family. The precious little voices of her children helped me relive the joy and excitement of this holiday.

Our white Christmas is rapidly turning back to brown this morning, but that’s okay with me. I don’t want people to have trouble returning to their homes this weekend.

Stay safe!

White Christmas 2009

Well this will be one for the record books! I can't recall ever having a white Christmas here and I've certainly never heard our weatherman use the word "blizzard" before. The north got much more snow and worse driving conditions. Several major roads were closed. We just sat around yesterday and enjoyed the day! The only real annoyance was that we didn't have internet service. So here is what God gave us as a special Christmas gift.

And I am sad to say that my Christmas cactus only has one bloom. :(

 
 

Ho-Ho-Ho

Since we don't put up lights out here in the country I thought I'd share a few sights from Caddo.

Pets, Pets, and more...

 

My niece made this comment on one of my recent posts: “I wondered how many pets ya'll could have had to not remember one! “ Oh honey! You might be surprised!

I can’t remember more than a few scattered months here and there when our house has not had at least one resident with feathers, fur, or scales! We even kept pets during the year we lived in the motor home! We’ve lived with a variety of cats, dogs, parakeets, doves, finches, fish, mice, lizards, hamsters, rabbits, and a goat. I refused to sleep in a house that also contained a snake, tiger, ferret, or rat, although there was often begging involved. Sherman, the goat, holds the distinction of being the only pet we ever ate! A disturbing family tale for another day.

I knew Gary was a keeper when he wasn’t concerned by the fact that I had fourteen cats! In my own defense only three of them were technically mine. A co-worker had just moved and left me a pregnant cat and she had eight kittens the same week that two strays decided to take up residence. Anyway, he had to walk through half a dozen of them to even get to our step and he was still smiling when I opened the door!

The animals at our house were seldom chosen by anyone. That’s what happens when people find out you love animals! At least half of our pets were given to us by people who were moving or in some sort of crisis. We adopted a dog from a doctor who learned the hard way that his “watch dog” would rather eat fighting roosters than guard them. We took in an orphaned goat brought in by hunters. We babysat the school’s science department animals for the summer. We opened our door for strays. We fed unwanted puppies. We cared for injured birds.

We must have had some very understanding landlords over the years. Even with all of our moving, we usually had an animal with us and I can’t remember too many places that refused us shelter. Most of the apartments banned cats and/or dogs, but that just meant we kept fish or birds. We’ve had several dogs and a few cats that have traveled cross-country with us. Robert’s cat, Mittens, even liked to camp with us in the motor home! When we moved from CA to OK in 1980 I drove with the children, three cats, and a dog! Gary stayed behind for two more weeks to finish his job.

Verushka was the only dog I ever truly loved. She was my constant companion until she died of kidney failure the same week that Robert was born. Even though it was a matter of priorities, I blamed myself for not paying more attention to her condition that week. I never let myself get that attached to another dog. Gidget, Dino, Rebel, Serena, Max and other forgotten dogs were just pets.  Most came to untimely ends. Dino had kidney problems too, which we learned is the sad fate of many Dobermans. Max was electrocuted and had to be put down.

Cats have always fared best in our house. Many lived with us for over ten years- a miracle when you consider how many times we’ve moved. The ones with the best personalities will be remembered forever- Mittens, Charlie, Kelly, Dawn, Annie, Lint, Baby, Sassy, Chessie, and of course my spoiled rotten Daryl. Charlie taught me a valuable lesson about cats. He wore a collar, but caught it on a trellis and nearly hung himself. I was covered with scratches by the time I rescued him and I never let another of our cats wear a collar! He traveled with us from CA to OK but was hit by a car during the first month. Mittens loved to sleep under the covers with Robert. He was as comfortable in the motor home as anywhere and would actually go in and out the window. We never lost him at a campsite, even when other families tried to entice him. He loved cooked chicken livers! Kelly was the most beautiful cat we ever owned and she was so, so loveable. She almost drowned during a storm in OK. And once a woman stopped to accuse us of stealing her! Thank goodness I had her baby pictures. Lol Dawn was Kelly’s sister. We got Kelly, Dawn, and Cindy as Christmas presents for the children, but Cindy didn’t live very long. Annie was left behind in a camp ground. We’ll never know if it was by accident or plan. She was the only cat we’ve ever had who actually played “fetch” like a dog. Lint was probably the largest cat we’ve ever owned. Baby was a Manx we finally gave to the neighbor because she adored him. Sassy was a Siamese who was mean as a snake and would bite you as often as she would purr for you. I couldn’t bear to part with her because Mom gave her to me. She was killed by the neighbor’s dog just a few years ago. Chessie broke into our house several years ago while we were on vacation. She curled up on the couch, made friends with Sassy, and stayed until she developed a stomach problem and died last year.

My Daryl was one of Annie’s kittens. He was even spoiled by her and nursed long after she should have weaned him. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why he loved ice cream! He was fat and lazy and whiny and certainly the luckiest cat ever! He got caught in something and pulled all the skin off his leg, but the vet managed to sew him back together. He was bitten by a snake and lived. He was often sick, but the vet kept him on medications until he got better. He cost me more money than any other cat I’ve ever owned! He disappeared two years ago, no doubt the victim of my neighbor’s vicious dogs.

Blackie, Spook, M’n’M, Motley, Jack, Rascal, Frankie, and all the other cats we’ve owned probably deserve at least a mention. The birds and fish and other critters will have to remain anonymous. Most never even got a name! Except for Fat Fabian, my current fish. (I put the numbers on his tank for scale.)

Poor Rascal, the subject of our recent “family memory mystery” is shown below with Robert.

 

Christmas Trees Lost and Found

 

I know you won’t believe this, but my photos are not so organized. Just the fact that I have thousands is a bit intimidating at times. It seems I have always had a camera, except for the few times it has vacationed in a pawn shop. And I have not only saved photos, but have never knowingly thrown out a negative. And there were the “slide” years! I have over 1,000 slides- Robert and I scanned them and saved them to CDs. So when I need a photo for something it might take me a tiny bit of time to find it.

Such was the case this week when I wanted some Christmas tree photos from different years. I have photos in boxes, albums, file cases, drawers, and envelopes. I have a three-drawer rolling file case that is full of photos. I have photos on the computer, on CDs, and on floppy disks (I have an external drive).

The retrieval problem lies in my failure to establish a permanent filing method. One year when we were selling a lot of photos I had a numerical system. Another year I filed by date and subject. Then I started a photo box for each of the children. Then one for the various pets and critters we’ve had over the years. And of course I had to have a “miscellaneous” file for objects, vehicles, art, etc. I have files of community photos. Anyway…

I ramble as usual. The point is that once in a while I surprise myself by finding a photo I didn’t know I had! Yes, I do remember most of the ones I have taken. They stick in my mind and often nag at me when I’m trying to recall something. Case in point- Katrina mentioned in her blog that one of my journal entries didn’t make a lot of sense to her because she didn’t remember who or what I was talking about:

Sunday, December 21, 1980 – The dogs killed Rascal. I don’t know how I’ll tell the kids.{Why in the world would that entry be a favorite? Because I don’t even remember who/what Rascal was!! Clearly we recovered.}

Well, I knew I had a photo of Rascal somewhere! In fact I know there are at least two. Found one of them yesterday and sent it to all three of my children so there will be some proper mourning for poor Rascal. Lol

In the process of hunting through my photo boxes I found a photo of Mom that I didn’t remember taking! It’s from Christmas 1993. And there were also some tree photos in that box, including a Polaroid from 1987. I’ve tried to be sure and scan all of my Polaroid photos before they disintegrate, but apparently missed this one. (The ocean painting behind two of the trees is one of mine that I’ve had in storage for several years because I got tired of it, but now I’m thinking I might drag it out and put it in the extra bedroom…kind of miss it. Ah, the power of photos!)

And I’m sharing a photo of my cat Annie, and her son Daryl, because Mom would totally understand how much I miss both of them!