The View from Here

Time Passes

              Four late nights are almost too much for a woman of my advancing years. Sunday night we had a two-hour, ten-hanky meeting to decide the fate of our church fellowship. Monday night was a planning meeting for Caddo’s Heritage Day Celebration coming up October 7^th. Tuesday night was a special meeting of our PTO at school and I was on the hospitality committee. (Stayed on campus until 7:30pm.) Wednesday night Gary and I attended a wonderful performance by Piffaro, The Renaissance Band. I encourage you to check out their website.

            Today my students began talking about Halloween and their costumes! It sort of caught me off guard. Where has the time gone? Halloween? Already? Then I realized that my students are just responding to the artificial calendar imposed on us by the whims of the marketing monster otherwise known as WM. Shhh… I don’t want to be sued, so pretend you don’t know what I mean. I was in there today and realized my garden department is already on the way out- replaced by Santa and his helpers. So today, September 29, I could have bought a swimsuit on summer clearance, a Halloween costume, a Thanksgiving turkey plate, and a singing Santa Claus. Forget “one stop” shopping. The new slogan should be “one season” shopping. No wonder I stay confused!

            Honestly, I should buy better shoes because my next three weekends are already planned and I think my feet are going to be tired. Time really is passing more quickly than I had planned. It’s only a few short weeks until the first report card. Then it’s a downhill slide until Christmas. I have to go to bed. Later…

Finding the Words

            I’ve attempted all week to find the words to explain what has happened in our little church. I guess I can’t explain it because I’m not sure I really know all of the facts. At this point what started this is unimportant anyway. What matters is that a conflict arose and has escalated to the point where our church is experiencing the religious equivalent of a “divorce”. We’ve had three services where people have tried to solve the situation and have only succeeded in making it worse. Now we face a special meeting tomorrow to decide who stays and who goes.

This is the first time in many years when I’ve dreaded going to church. I love church! Aside from being a place where I can worship God, church has always been a sanctuary from the ordinary problems and cares of the world. It’s been my security, my haven. And I refer to the body of believers, the people, not the building.

My church has always been like an extension of my own family. And that brings us to what we all know about families. There are family members we don’t like. There are even relatives who drive us crazy! However, the Bible says to love everyone, with a brotherly, Christian love. It doesn’t say we have to actually like them. Big difference. Huge difference! I often think Jesus told us to love everyone because He knew it would actually be easier for us to love them than to like them. To my way of thinking “brotherly love” is just another way of saying respect. It means that the other person has as much right to God’s love and attention as I do. It means that it takes all kinds of people to form a fellowship.  It means I have to allow each individual in the church to be the person God wants them to be, even if that means I grit my teeth and keep my opinions to myself! 

Think for a moment about the last funeral you went to for a family member. There was cousin Josh, the one you can’t stand, and yet you found yourself talking about old times and crying together. You felt a kinship- a relationship based on love- even though the guy drives you crazy and you’d never invite him to your house for dinner.

That’s how I’ve always felt about my church family. Sure there are members I don’t like. There are also members I’d like even if they didn’t attend the same church. There are members who actually are members of my family or married to someone in my family.  However, my feelings about them, either way, are NOT important. People are in our church, in our building, in our service, because they share a belief in God and the Bible. They are in church to worship God, not to make me happy. Shared belief- that’s supposed to be the “tie that binds”. Our shared beliefs are supposed to create an atmosphere of respect and tolerance and understanding. Well…

That has all been forgotten in a storm of hurt feelings, angry words, and shouting. Our service last week was the most frightening thing I’ve ever experienced in a church. It made me distrust our pastor and our deacons. It made me question each and every relationship I have in our church. It made me wonder about our witness to the rest of the community. It made me doubt our future as a group of believers. It made me feel betrayed!

You’ll notice I didn’t say anything about doubting God. I think God allows us to exercise our “free will” and we abuse the privilege. I still trust God. These idiots haven’t caused me to doubt Him. But I hate confrontation. I hate anger and ugly words and misunderstandings. I recognize this as a test of faith, but this is not a test about doctrine or beliefs. It’s a test of relationships and forgiveness. It’s a test about human will versus obedience.

I feel God guiding me through this and giving me the words that will comfort me. Monday I was listening to Matthew on my way to work. The passage I heard happened to be chapter 18, verses 15-20 about dealing with a brother who sins against you. Then in a discussion with my colleague she said “this too shall pass”, which happened to be a favorite saying of my grandmother’s. Then I was watching a television show and a character quoted Romans 12:21, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good”. I don’t think any of those events are coincidences. 

So tomorrow my little world will change. Our church will change, and our community will change. As I said, this is like a divorce. People take sides and form alliances. Everyone gets hurt. I only hope that afterward the healing process is quick. I hope we all find the words to seek and bestow forgiveness. I hope this too shall pass.

Happy Birthday!

My best friend was born on September 21, 1943 at 4:43 in the afternoon. The announcement in the paper read “Seaman Second Class and Mrs. Irvin Maurer are the parents of a 6-pound, 3-ounce boy, Gary Irwin.”  I know this because his grandmother was kind enough to give me his baby book when we married. My husband’s mother died when he was four, so his baby book is precious, not only for the information it contains, but because it is written in his mother’s beautiful handwriting. She neatly recorded his weight and height, feeding schedule and sleeping habits. There are samples of his hair and notations about each little baby tooth. There are gift cards, Christmas cards, clippings and photos. I love to look at, and I must admit that I’m a little jealous. My mother either didn’t keep a book for me or lost it somewhere during our many moves.

My husband and I had similar childhoods in many ways. We both grew up in the San Joaquin Valley of CA. We both grew up in the fields. It’s just that his family owned them and ours rented.  His family ate at restaurants. Ours ate bologna and fried potatoes at the kitchen table. We often talk about the similarities and differences in our backgrounds. As we get older we seem more and more compatible and I think our shared background has a lot to do with that.

My husband is a very creative man. He likes photography and art and music. He’s a tremendous jazz fan. He’s taught me so much about music. And he’s always willing to go to concerts or museums or art shows. He even loves shopping and sappy movies. He also loves cars, racing, and football. He’s tried to teach me a lot about those, but I’m not a good student. We enjoy car shows together, but he still has to explain most of the cars to me. I just can’t seem to remember.

I’m working on his birthday. One of those things we’ve learned to accept. We’ll celebrate this weekend. We’ve been married for thirty four years now and I appreciate him more and more each year. We’ve been through a lot together. I can only hope that we will have many more years together! Happy Birthday sweetie!

No Words

           Words have always been my way out of any problem, any circumstance. Spill out enough words, try enough ideas and surely a solution will arise. Talk it out and certainly forgiveness will come. Search for meaning in words and answers will arrive in due course.

But there have also been a few rare times in my life when there are no words, or at least not the right words. This is one of those times. I’ve tried all the words. I’ve talked as much as I can. I’ve thought. I’ve prayed. I’ve sought the wisdom of others. I’ve listened. There is no solution in sight. Only more pain. Only heartache. Only despair.

A series of events has created a situation that has hurt me to the core of my being. It has shaken the very foundation of who I am. And I’m not alone in my pain.  I don’t think the parties involved thought about that before they committed themselves to their course of action. Now the problem is out of their hands and has become a cancer that will infect us all. I hope you will pray with me this week. There are at least 200 souls who will be affected by your prayers and mine. There are lives at stake and hearts that need healing. I will explain when I find the words. For now just pray.

Patience

             Kindergartners amaze me sometimes. I took my class to the library yesterday and they sat down on the floor to wait for me to call each table group for a turn at the book shelves. It’s a routine we’ve practiced for two weeks. But yesterday morning the librarian asked us to wait for a few extra minutes so she could process some books that had just been returned. I told her “No problem. We can practice waiting quietly.” One of my girls looked up and said, “Patience is a virtue”, and smiled.

Now I know she’s heard that from a parent or other family member. She didn’t just make it up. However, to apply it to the correct situation not only shows comprehension, but an understanding of the difference between just “waiting” and waiting with a certain dignity and consideration. I thought about that for the rest of the day.

Our society is losing the virtue of patience. Perhaps we never really grasped it in the first place. My husband’s grandmother was fond of saying “Patience is a virtue, and man hath neither.” I don’t know. I just know that as I look around at drivers on the highway and customers in stores I see people in a hurry. I see people who take risks and anger others and exhaust themselves because they are in such a rush to be somewhere else and do something else. I see people who give up easily when times get tough. I see people depending on others to do things they are unwilling to learn to do for themselves.

I get as over-scheduled as the next person. I get stressed. I sometimes drive a little too fast, but not often, and certainly not as often as I did when I was younger. I take things slower these days. I have more patience. I don’t get as anxious about what might happen if I’m a little late for something. I don’t get as apprehensive about learning something new. (And even if I do have a tantrum about something new, like my phone, I try again.) I think teaching kindergarten has a lot to do with that.

Adults think kindergartners have attention problems. Adults think children spend too much time playing and not enough time doing “important things” like reading and writing and competing in sports. But if you really pay attention to them children will teach you the true meaning of patience. These little ones work for months to learn to write their names. They spend hours and hours learning how to read. They tie and re-tie their shoes a million times before they can do it correctly. They try again and again and again.

            Yes, children understand the difference between waiting and patience.

Patience is doing what you need to do, for as long as you need to do it.

Patience is a virtue and children have both.

Little Surprises

             Did you ever have one of those days that didn’t quite go as planned? My Saturday started early, EARLY,  with a phone call from my neighbor because she “wanted to catch me before I went to work” to tell me she’d be gone for the weekend. Oops! That’s okay, we had planned to go to a car show at 8:30 anyway. Now I just had a couple of extra hours for email and such.

Then I got an email from a fellow TRAC member telling me that I had an appointment at 10am to take pictures for the “yard of the month”. No problem. We’re flexible. Gary went on to the car show and I promised to follow as soon as I finished. Well, by the time I took the photos and dropped them off at WalMart and ate lunch and picked them up it was noon. So…I made it to the car show by 1:30. Still had a good time.

The show was the Boggy Bottom Classic Car and Truck Show hosted by the Lake Country Cruisers at Boggy Depot State Park. It was a benefit show for a variety of charities including Angel Tree and Toys for Tots. They had a tremendous turnout- over 170 cars and trucks. There were people everywhere! There were games for the children, lots of food, and some great entertainment. My favorite event was grown men racing to see who could put on a pair of pantyhose the quickest. ‘Course they were a bit hindered by the fact that they were fully dressed, including shoes, AND they were wearing work gloves! Funny stuff! Lots of prizes were awarded for some gorgeous vehicles. Will post some photos as soon as we get them back. (Yes, next year we’re getting a digital camera.)

We did get some photos that Gary had taken earlier in the week of a friend’s motorcycle. I liked three of them so much that I asked him if I could post them. I changed the orientation of a couple of them because I think it makes them much more interesting. I call them “motor art”.

Got a call from one of our daughters with some exciting news. She’s been named one of the Memory Makers Masters for 2007. For those of you who don’t “scrap”, don’t feel bad. She had to explain it to me, too. Here’s a link for the announcement: Memory Makers

Forgot to mention that I finally conquered my little demon phone and I can now successfully call my hubby if I have a flat. Aren’t you proud of me?

Well, next week Gary plans to attend a wildlife photography clinic at the Tishomingo National Wildlife Refuge and I plan to spend the day at the genealogy library. However, after this weekend’s little surprises, who knows what we’ll actually do!

Too Fast, Too Soon

The September 11 issue of Newsweek contains an excellent article about “The New First Grade”. It’s well worth reading even if you don’t have any children in school. I think it’s important for everyone to understand the new reality of elementary education and how it impacts our society. Maybe then we will ask some serious questions about “no child left behind” and all of the testing we are imposing on these little ones. What most children are “leaving behind” is childhood.

The first change you’ll notice in elementary schools these days is the testing. Children are tested and retested to make sure they are progressing as expected. And I’m not talking about math quizzes and spelling bees. I’m talking about testing literacy skills and phonemic awareness and reading comprehension and writing ability and then producing graphs and analyses of each and every answer. I’m talking about kindergartners filling in little “bubble” answer forms and taking timed quizzes. It’s happening all over the country, in every state. I’ve been in districts that emphasize math and reading, and “teach to the test” to the point that art and music and even science are pushed aside. No time, no teachers for such luxuries. I so lucky to be in a district that still believes in a “well-rounded” education!

And play time suffers when we are so concerned about academics and accountability. There are mandatory time allotments and guidelines for recess. Some districts don’t even have recess above the first grade level. Imagine being inside, working and studying, ALL DAY LONG. One of the principals quoted in the Newsweek article says “Kindergarten, which was once very play-based has become the new first grade.” My colleagues and I have been saying that for years. And before you blame that on teachers, remember that most of what we do is mandated by the state and federal governments. As the article points out, we have learned, through research, how children learn and now we have used that knowledge against them. High-stakes testing has become “the sole metric by which a school is measured.”

I consider myself a well-educated, intelligent person. I’m terrible at taking tests!! I panic. I get headaches. I go blank. I forget my own address. I certainly don’t want my worth measured by how well I “test”. I don’t want all my former teachers to feel guilty because they didn’t teach me how to love testing. Why should I think that the students in my class are any different?

The concern of the article, and my concern, is that we will produce a nation of learners who CAN read, but HATE to do it. I remember enjoying reading so much that I would literally read under the covers with a flashlight. When I wasn’t reading I was thinking about the latest story I had read. My favorite place in the world was the library! That’s the kind of education our children need- one that instills in them a LOVE of learning and exploring and reading. I was poor, poor, poor, just like these kids we are so concerned about “fixing” with all of our testing. I was also just a regular kid: I climbed trees and played hopscotch and dug in the dirt and got in trouble for talking too much. But I grew up in an era when children were allowed to have a childhood. I grew up in a time when children had a chance to complete their homework because they weren’t involved in fifteen extracurricular activities designed to improve their chances of getting into a good college.

Too much, too fast? Yes, I think so. I think we need to step back and take another look at accountability. What seemed like a good idea- making sure teachers and others in education were really doing their job- has become a catalyst for the notion that we can somehow produce a blueprint for the perfect student, and that once we have it we can just turn them out at will. Instead of “no child left behind” I think we should adopt the mantra “every child is unique” and treat them accordingly.

This is a great article and I hope you will read it.       

Holiday Weekend

I love three-day weekends! You get a day to do errands and chores. A day for church and family. A day for personal projects and activities. I’m totally in favor of the four-day work week! Let’s write our congressman or something.

Friday night we went to the first football game of the season. A friend asked “Why?” since she knows I’m not a big football fan. (Please don’t say bad things about me. I just have a hard time following the game.) This is one of those rare years when we know several team members. Three attend our church and two are former daycare students of mine. (Gee I’m getting old.) Anyway, we enjoy seeing friends and Gary actually follows the game closely. It was a rough night! The first clue to the outcome of the game was the program. When one of the other players is 6’5” and weighs 350 lbs. you know someone is in for some pain! Unfortunately it was us.

Saturday we attended a family reunion, which you probably already know if you read my other blog. It turns out that even though we were “guests” we really are related in a “third cousins twice removed” sort of way. It was fun exchanging family history.

            Also got a chance to plant some more flowers in the downtown planters. It’s nice to see some color again after weeks of drought. We got a nice soaking rain earlier this week and again today. After it stopped I went out and pruned a few limbs here and there. Too wet to do much else, but at least now I have hope again!

I’ve been able to do some reading and writing this weekend. Finally completing the publicity for our upcoming Heritage Day celebration. Still working on the history of Caddo. Sorted some photos and put them into an album. (No, dear daughter, I’m not “scrap-booking”. Just keeping an album for the Town Restoration Association.) Started reading “Prairie City” by Angie Debo. I read it years ago. Enjoying it all over again!

Hope everyone has a good week. When is the next holiday?