The View from Here

Abandoning the Dream of Perfection

I have been somewhat frustrated and disappointed by my gardening efforts for about four years now. It seems that each summer there is some personal or health challenge that keeps me from planting and pruning and weeding and trimming as much as I desire. When I walked out to give my flowers some water this morning I was ashamed to see how much grass is competing for their space. And of course there are plants that need to be thinned, bushes that need to be trimmed, and vines that need to be tied. It took me a few minutes to really appreciate the fact that I have flowers blooming and grapes ripening and butterflies enjoying the garden. I guess I needed a reminder that perfection isn’t a requirement for enjoyment.

We all seem to have perfection as the goal for at least one aspect of our lives. We just know in our hearts that the perfect body, the perfect marriage, the perfect career, the perfect child, the perfect something will be the key to peace and joy in the areas of our life that are still a challenge. Or perhaps our pursuit of perfection will at least distract us from the problems we face.

Unfortunately we often delay doing something or avoid it altogether because we feel that we can’t do it perfectly. We wait for the perfect timing that never comes or the perfect conditions that don’t exist. Then one day we realize we never even tried…

I have decided that I will stop visualizing what my garden might be and just enjoy what it is. I’ll be satisfied that I CAN go outside, I CAN do a little bit of work, and I CAN enjoy the results.  And I will strive to apply that attitude to the other areas of my life that certainly aren’t perfect. Oh, I hear you. There is no reason to give up on improvements or to stop making changes in your life or mine. However, I think we damage ourselves and our relationships with others if we don’t appreciate the value of living with a few flaws.

David

My brother, David Lee Simmons, died Saturday, July 15 in Oklahoma City. His death was so unexpected that I’m still processing the idea that he is no longer with us. He was only 63 and I really thought we would be together for many more years. However, God had other plans and now I am left with my memories, some good and some not so good. Such is the reality of life. David was a troubled young man for many years and it would be dishonest to ignore that. However he also changed as he got older and I believe his life was proof that we can alter the path we are on at any time.

David was intelligent, funny, sarcastic at times, and interested in a wide variety of things. I will miss his wit and wisdom, but most of all his voice. I always loved the timbre of his voice.

David was the first of my four brothers to arrive…ironic that he should be the first to leave us.

Banta Cousins

Time for the seventh annual Low Dutch Cousins Gathering. This year it will be in Frankfort, Kentucky. See  Dutch Cousins website for more information. 

School Supplies

Oh my! I walked into Walmart this morning and the school supplies are already on the shelves.  Most of the supply lists for local schools are on a rack just inside the door. And as usual parents and teachers are reluctantly preparing to spend a little more money this year than they did last year.

For some parents shopping for supplies is a happy ritual. For others it’s a dreaded necessity they simply can’t afford without sacrificing something else in the budget. And we should never forget that because of state budget cuts teachers spend a lot of their own money on classroom supplies that in the past were provided by the school.

Thankfully there are individuals and organizations that help out, but this year I want to encourage everyone who reads this to give $10 to your local school and designate it for either student or teacher supplies. That’s as much as you would spend at any drive-thru and we could all use a little less fast food. Together we can ease the burden for parents and support our hard-working teachers!

If you want to really go crazy…get a supply list and fill a backpack with everything one student would need. Drop it off at your local school and I’ll just bet someone will give you a big smile…maybe even a hug.

Problems, Pain, and Possibilities...

So far, July is not off to a great start at the Maurer house. We had torrential rains that left us with extra yard clean-up. Monday found us witnessing a bit of local controversy. Tuesday the sewer line backed up and we spent the 4^th of July at the Holiday Inn. Sleeping away from home and my recliner left me in pain for two days. That pain and waiting for the plumber kept us away from the gym on Wednesday. Yesterday we managed a trip to Walmart, but it took me hours to recover. Today finds us contemplating an overgrown lawn, limbs to cut, weeds to pull, a pile of laundry, and the possibility of more rain. And I couldn’t be happier.

As I enjoyed my first cup of coffee this morning I couldn’t help being thankful that we were able to handle the week’s minor problems. In the past we might have had far more difficulty in doing so; in the future we may find ourselves unable to deal with the storms of life. However, now, today, I’m grateful that we had the money to stay in a motel, we had the support of friends and family throughout the week, and I still have the physical capability to recover from a challenging situation. I’m also very aware that in the overall scheme of things our problems have indeed been minor. The storm did some major damage in some areas. We have friends and family facing far more serious medical problems. We know that we are blessed to have each other for support, both emotionally and physically. Many around us face their problems alone.

We’re looking forward to a pleasant weekend. We hope to go to Hagerman tomorrow for the “second Saturday” program on geology. My niece and her family will be visiting with us on Sunday. Next week may be “routine” or challenging, but I trust God will continue to guide us and I pray we are able to solve whatever problems may arise.

Creating a Life

I spend a lot of my time reading about the accomplishments of others. Yesterday I researched the life of an inventor and entrepreneur who apparently lived his entire life dreaming and creating. I’ve always been fascinated by creative people, drawn to artists, musicians, inventors, writers, carpenters, and such.   And I learned at an early age that people often did something mundane to earn money and something dear to their heart and soul as a hobby. I’m not sure why the two didn’t merge more often. Perhaps it was just that the generation that raised me had been admonished to “earn a good living” and “prepare for the future”. The Depression had changed the lives and attitudes of the generation that raised them.

I remember suggesting once to my dad that I wanted to be an artist. I showed him one of my “fashion drawings” and he remarked, “Honey, you can’t make a living doing that.” I don’t think it was a criticism of my work, but a failure on his part to see how I could get from the cotton fields to the fashion industry. Even his sister, a talented artist, worked “for a living” as a draftsman, a much more “acceptable” and to my father, understandable, occupation. Generations of our family have found satisfaction and a bit of money in writing. But my dad knew that no one ever made enough of it to pay the rent or buy a car. So to him writing was always” just a hobby” that occupied the time of his favorite women. Music has certainly brought fame and fortune to some members of our family, but I guess the fact that I failed to play the guitar or the piano indicated that my talents lay elsewhere. So it was Dad who always encouraged me to be a teacher, nurse, or secretary. Those were familiar careers that he knew would guarantee a good life for his firstborn child.

Of course he was right. I spent years working in various businesses, but it wasn’t until I became a teacher that I really found satisfaction and made a “good living”. He was proud of that, and happy to hear about my work. It was something we could discuss together. It was something he understood.

Yes, teaching was the right career for me and I have no regrets about my work. However, now that I’m retired I have gone back to the activities I most enjoyed as a young girl: observing other people, writing down my thoughts and ideas, creating beautiful things, and wandering around outside. I’m still drawn to creative people, but now I have the freedom to be one.

This Writing Life...

I apologize if you have recently taken the time to visit my little world and found nothing new to entertain or enlighten you. I’m still here, and despite some continuing physical challenges, I’m doing what I have always done: writing, taking pictures, writing, gardening, writing, researching, writing, reading, and yes, writing. You don’t always see the results of all that time and effort because I’m published elsewhere or my writing is done for personal benefit, but I still spend an average of six hours a day at the keyboard. (Yes, Dr. ___, I get up every thirty minutes and walk around the house just as instructed.)

I’ve always spent a portion of my time writing. Always. I wrote stories and poems as a child. I even illustrated some of them. I was published in the newspaper when I was barely a teen. As a young mother I wrote about some of my experiences and a few were published. I have continued to have moderate success as an author, but alas I have yet to write anything that has garnered critical acclaim or fame. That’s okay. Really. I still have this need, inherited I’m sure, to gather my thoughts, write them down, and share them with others. It’s really necessity, not ego, that drives me. Writing keeps me focused, sane, thankful, humble, happy.

So…if you are a fan I thank you. Don’t give up. I’ll be back here soon, sharing something that inspires me or discourages me or just fascinates me. In the meantime, here are a few photos of the things that have made me smile this week.

Phone Addiction

A group in Colorado citizens calling themselves Parents Against Underage Smartphones wants to make it a crime to sell fancy phones to little children, AND they want to punish retailers who do so by fining them $500-$20,000 if they violate the law. The person behind the group is a father of five who became alarmed when he realized that his children were addicted to their phones. His children were spending too much time in their rooms. They had outrageous reactions when he attempted to take away their phones. He was concerned about their health and future. So it seems that he did what so many people do: look for someone else to blame and prevent future problems by making the offending object illegal.  But even this old grandma knows that you can’t eradicate stupidity or control morality by passing a law. If that were true then the ten we started out with would have been enough.

Mr. Farnum insists that one of their goals is to inform parents. “Many parents don’t know the dangers of excessive technology usage,” he said, “or the permanent damage it can do to their children.” True…but that doesn’t mean information will change their actions or that a law will prevent them from making poor decisions. There was a report on the news this morning about the number of children who have died this year after being left in hot cars…despite years of warning parents of the dangers of doing that!

So…yes, Mr. Farnum, get the word out to parents that phone addiction is harmful. Form a group that encourages parents to “just say no”. Endorse the phone you think is more suitable for child safety. Be a role model by solving the problem in your own home. Write a book about it. But please don’t waste everyone’s time and energy by trying to pass a law that punishes retailers. Let your government officials spend their time and skills on real issues.  Save punishment for real criminals.

Questions from the Garden...

Why does it take me a full minute to open a suet basket that takes the squirrel ten seconds to unfasten?

Why are the moles most active two feet from my driveway and truck, instead of fifty feet away where I probably wouldn’t even notice them?

How do the ants know that if they travel up the metal shepherd’s hook holding my hummingbird feeder they will be rewarded with a permanent food source?

Why are the three plants I’m the least fond of the most prolific in the garden?

Why do I foolishly buy a hanging fuschia each year and then gripe because I have to water it every single day?

Why haven’t I ever purchased a hose that didn’t develop at least one permanent kink that drives me crazy?

Why does anyone, anywhere, EVER plant a sweetgum tree in their back yard?

Why do worms drag themselves up onto our cement driveway and patio to die a horrible death which requires me to remove their dried bodies? And why won’t the birds eat them?

Why do I admire the ripening crop of grapes on our trellis when I know the birds and squirrels will harvest them before I do?

Why do I ask silly questions?

Another Reset

I have to admit that I was mentally prepared for a surgical solution to my recent knee problems. We all want to believe that medical science can fix anything. But there are some things that are simply a natural consequence of years of neglect and abuse. Like most people, when I was younger and stronger and much more arrogant, I did whatever I needed to do. It didn’t matter if I was tired or sore or limping around. I was the manager of a household, and my family depended on me. I seldom noticed or cared that I was often the last person on my priority list.

Nor did I follow much of the advice given to me by my mother and doctor about taking care of my body by eating healthy foods and getting more exercise. Mother advocated whole wheat bread and low-fat cottage cheese, but I just rolled my eyes when she talked. My doctor suggested less sugar and salt, definitely less ice cream. I listened politely, but the fact that he was fifty pounds overweight told me he wasn’t a true believer. And more exercise? I was already running around like a madwoman, trying to accomplish a dozen tasks at once. What was he talking about?

Nothing in my earlier life was a direct cause of my current health problems, but a lifetime of accidents (more than a dozen) and poor choices can’t result in a perfect body. Just not possible. Add genetics to the mix- my grandmother walked with a cane due to bad knees- and rather than be surprised by a few damaged joints, I should be amazed and grateful that I can walk at all. And my older, wiser brain knows there are several things I can do to help my body cope with the damages.  

So…once again I’ve reset my attitude and my plans to adjust and adapt to this new challenge. But my message to you today is not to wait until you are coping with a damaged body. Take care of the body you have. Be wise and prepare for the future. Begin today and do something to improve your health.