If this is a preview of my retirement years then I will definitely need more energy…and more time!! I completed one major project today that I started back in early May. I’ll tell you about it in another week because it’s a surprise for someone. I did about three hours of research for my new book. I checked off two little tasks on my “to do” list. I pretended to clean a little bit. I read a few more chapters of “Inferno”. I took these photos. I fed the birds and critters. I answered most of my email. And now its 6pm and time to see what is happening on FB. Where did the day go???
Good Grief
You can’t get to my age without compiling a long list of encounters with death. The first “funeral” I ever participated in was for a bird that fell from the tree in our front yard. I spent a whole day trying unsuccessfully to feed it, despite my mother’s warnings, and the next day she helped me put it in a little shoe box and bury it under the rose bush. I cried myself to sleep that night.
During my childhood there was a seemingly endless parade of fish, birds, hamsters, cats, dogs, and even a pig or two that caused me to shed painful tears and wonder about the unfairness of the whole life and death process. I still have a tuft of hair from my first cat…sealed in an envelope in the diary I kept as a twelve-year-old. Her name was Sandy and she was hit by a car. I grieved for her for years.
The first human death that had a significant impact on my life was the death of the young brother of one of my classmates. We were in the sixth grade when the tragic accident occurred. I don’t remember exactly how old Rudy’s brother was…just a toddler. Somehow he ended up in the driveway, backed over and killed by their father. I mourned for my classmate and for his father. I couldn’t imagine his guilt or understand how they could go on with their lives. But of course they did.
I have a few vague memories of attending funerals with my parents. I suppose friends and some distant relatives died. I attended the services, but it wasn’t until my great-grandmother died in 1961 that I felt any personal loss. I had only seen her a couple of times, but she was family, and she was my family. And before I could get to know her better she was gone…forever. Other family members have followed over the years, some after lingering illnesses, some suddenly and unexpectedly. Some were very old and others graced our lives for only a few short days.
And now I am once again going through the process of saying goodbye.
I know you’ve heard of the “stages of grief”, but there is a great deal of controversy about the validity of that theory. I don’t personally believe there is a particular series of emotions that follows the death of a loved one. First of all each relationship and each death experience is unique. I’ve been angry about the deaths of a few friends and relatives, but certainly not all of them. I wanted to deny that my mother was dead, but I have no such illusions about my father’s passing. I cried for hours and days and months after Mom’s death. My tears for Dad have been less frequent and I even find myself smiling when I pass the DQ. He would not want hours and days of crying over his death. I am also older and wiser than I was when Mom died; Dad and I had even discussed his inevitable death a few times.
Grief is an emotion that is always with us, just as love and hate, joy and anger. It is only the expression of it that changes. I still miss my great-grandmother when I see her photo or remember her laugh or smell roses. I might have to pull over to the side of the road and cry if Mom’s favorite song plays on the radio tomorrow. And I’ll probably grieve for Dad each time I see a poppy…but life goes on, and so will I.
World Oceans Day
I’ve always loved water and I have lots of memories of family trips to whatever creek, river, lake, or beach happened to be nearby. We fished, swam, and explored, but mostly I wondered what was going on beneath the water. So it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that I’ve visited several aquariums and hung out in more than one or two pet shops just watching the fish and other animals that reside in the water.
Our recent trip to the Oklahoma Aquarium in Jenks was not our first, nor will it be our last. While the aquarium has garnered criticism for its small size and large entrance fee, it is, after all, in the middle of the country, far, far from the ocean. It provides a wonderful opportunity for prairie folks to enjoy the wonders of the sea! And it is always filled with enthralled children.
We were disappointed to see that the turtle house has not been completed, but every tourist attraction has its own problems and many of those are contingent on finances. I will continue to patronize the aquarium as long as it seems that they are caring for their animals and treating customers well. Let’s hope their fund raising efforts are successful and the loggerhead turtles soon have a new home.
Gary took the photos you see here. It’s difficult to work with glass (reflections), water, darkness, crowds, and fast-moving fish, but I think he did a great job. And relinquishing the camera to him gave me more time to enjoy the experience of being surrounded by some of my favorite creatures.
Happy World Oceans Day!
Vacation- Dinosaurs!
Returned last night from our mini-vacation to Tulsa. Had a great time! Went to the Tulsa Air and Space Museum, Tulsa Zoo, Mary Oxley Nature Center, and the Oklahoma Aquarium. Lots of photos to edit and post, but I want to begin with these.
A new exhibit for the zoo this summer is Zoorassic Park. Absolutely awesome!! It's a small exhibit they have rented until October. Life-sized rubber skinned dinosaurs that move and also make sounds. Just so very entertaining to watch the reactions of the kids- everything from awe to terror. One little girl didn't want to get too close to the T-Rex!
If you want to see all of the dinosaurs they are on the Tulsa Zoo website.
Off to a great start...
Yesterday was a whirlwind of activity, at least for two old people who had “made other plans”. Our riding mower still won’t start and we were running out of time to solve that problem, so we simply mowed the lawn with a push mower. Two things were immediately apparent to me: 1. Mowing with the push mower eliminated a lot of the “trimming” I have been doing and the lawn looks better because the push mower cuts closer. 2. Mowing is the perfect exercise for me! It not only keeps me moving, but it is “task oriented”. I’m not saying that we will be mowing with the push mower all summer, but I will consider using it more often.
Of course mowing and watering took a lot longer than planned, but we still managed to do most of the other tasks necessary to prepare for our little road trip today. And the things we didn’t check off our list will wait until our return.
I have to back-track a bit to share part of yesterday’s Bible reading with you. Psalms 39:6 says “Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro: He bustles about, but only in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.” I could not have read a more appropriate verse for our current situation if I had Googled it! LOL God knows exactly what we need.
One task on our to-do list was attending the city council meeting last night. I always forget how much I enjoy those meetings! Yes, I mean that sincerely. I just love to see how things work and hear about future plans, etc. And I think the men who serve on the council do their best to keep Caddo operating efficiently. Did you know that our ancestors hoped Caddo would become the “Queen of the Prairie”? The founding fathers had lofty goals for our community!
We are headed to Tulsa today for a little recreation. Of course most of our travels involve animals, so we plan to visit the zoo and the aquarium. Who knows where else we will venture. ANY road trip immediately reminds me of Dad and the many summer trips we made between California and Oklahoma. If he had visited Sunday he would have given me advice about our route, gas, etc. and he would be anxious to hear our stories. I will imagine him traveling with us today from a totally different perspective.
So…our week is off to a great start. I will be not be online for a few days, but I promise some stories and pictures when I return. I know, I know…if I was a truly modern woman I would post things from the road and update hourly, etc. But I consider vacation to be a “break” from everything, even the computer. Gary and I once hiked into the wilderness and didn’t see another person for four days. We’ve always been a little different.
Have fun! Stay safe! Be good! We’ll try to do the same.
Ten Things
Most folks around here knew my dad his whole life. One local woman said they used to play together when they were four years old. However, as well as people know each other in a small town like Caddo, there may be a few things that about him that weren’t common knowledge. As part of my effort to preserve some memories for his grandchildren and great-grandchildren I offer you ten things you might not have known about my father:
- When I was a child Dad collected and read encyclopedias. Several of the local stores gave the books away as part of a “points” system and he made sure we shopped there. He sat in his chair in the evenings, read the books, and shared things he thought were interesting. He loved odd information and bits of trivia and obscure facts.
- Dad loved jigsaw puzzles and he spent many cold winter days completing 1,000-piece pictures. He had his own way of doing them and enjoyed critiquing MY way of doing them when he visited on Sundays.
- Dad was fascinated by caves. He visited Carlsbad Caverns after he graduated from high school and returned to take me when I was a young child. My grandparents lived at the Forestiere Underground Gardens in CA for a while and my father helped restore part of it. He also lived on the Forestiere ranch and explored its vast network of caves and tunnels that were used during prohibition. No, he never let me go with him.
- In 1953-54 Dad worked for the Hotel Californian in downtown Fresno. He worked in the print shop and also took some photos. He made menus and other items. I remember watching him work with some special pens and other tools that seemed far too delicate for his farmer’s hands, but like every other task- he learned to do what he needed to do. He liked to call himself a “Jack of all trades, and master of none.”
- In 1959 Dad worked on a big dam project in Georgetown, Texas. I assume it was one of the twenty-three Bushy Creek Water Control dams built between 1959 and 1967. I know they blew things up with dynamite and often took us out to see how many snakes they had killed in a day. Dad was very proud of his work in Georgetown, but mostly he was proud of killing those snakes!
- Dad loved to drive anything, anytime, anywhere. We went for a drive almost every Sunday afternoon throughout my childhood. We drove to places just to see what they looked like. We drove to better neighborhoods to gawk at the big houses. We drove out to the country to see the animals or admire other farms. We drove from CA to OK at least once a year. And of course Dad spent many years making his living behind the wheel of a truck.
- My grandmother owned a “bar and grill” for a couple of years and my dad tended bar for her part-time. The building was part of an old motel and still retained a couple of the rooms. I spent lots of time at the bar and in the motel room watching television. I also visited with cousins who lived nearby and we rode their bicycles around town. Sometimes my brothers went with us, but more often they stayed with mom. I don’t think my dad liked tending bar, but he did like helping his mother and he loved to talk to customers.
- Dad loved music but wouldn’t sing. I can’t recall hearing him sing more than a couple of times even in church. He, like his mother, said that he “couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket”.
- Dad liked to eat odd things at odd times- he often ate leftover spaghetti for breakfast or cookies crushed in milk for a late snack. Mayo had to be Hellman’s and tea had to be Lipton’s- loose leaves, boiled. He loved liver with onions, mashed potatoes, buttermilk biscuits, fried peach pies. But he would try almost anything once- frog’s legs, squirrel, bear, alligator, crayfish, pheasant, rabbit, duck, goose, pig’s brains, cow tongue. His diet during his “senior” years was somewhat limited by the fact that he refused to wear his teeth.
- Dad loved money. I can’t remember him ever NOT checking his change for old coins and I spent many, many hours helping him put those coins in little blue folders. He picked up pennies from parking lots and road sides and even the beach. He could spot a stray coin ten feet away and never just walked past one. I don’t think he ever envisioned finding a rare one that would make him wealthy, but he liked the history and variety of the coins and he liked completing a series or set of them. In some ways it was similar to his passion for jigsaw puzzles.
Well, that certainly isn’t everything there is to know about Bob Simmons, but it’s a start. Each of us has our own memories and I just thought it would be helpful to the younger family members if we shared some of them.
Our Choice
I read the online news this morning and as usual it was heavily prejudiced toward the negative, bad, ugly, pessimistic, gloomy, cynical, and depressing. The two worst stories of the day were typical of the violence that pervades our inner cities and insinuates itself into even our smallest communities.
It would be easy to read such news, go back to bed and stay there for the rest of the day. Instead, I drank my coffee and searched for something good. Thankfully I read about the rescue of a newborn baby that was credited to a FB post. Then I sorted through some of the smaller stories for a dose of joy.
I may be naive but I believe our attitude sets the stage for how we handle every experience of our life. We may have ups and downs, but our prevailing approach to life is generally positive or negative.
We start each day with a choice to make. Will our attitude be one of hope and gratitude and optimism? Or will we wallow in despair and self-pity and pessimism?
I’ve made my choice for today. How about you?
Hagerman- Less Water, More Flowers
I posted some photos of Hagerman to FB, but neglected to share them here. As always we saw some wonderful wildlife, but were sad to see so little water.
Summer Days
If the last few days are any indication, this is going to be a summer of blessings.
There were a few moments last week when I wasn’t so sure about being blessed, but the event that brought such sorrow is already bringing some changes and closure and comfort that I had not anticipated. Seemingly random things have occurred that give me the courage to “let go and let God”. I’m doing something today that I might have previously postponed. I was given something I thought was lost. Someone told me something that gave me great peace. I met someone at a restaurant that I hadn’t seen in fifteen years and was surprised by how easily we sat and talked…as though we had just seen each other yesterday. Even the dust jacket of a book I picked up yesterday made me smile and say a prayer of gratitude for its encouraging message.
And of course Gary and I continue to discuss memories and stories. Yes, I’m writing them down.
Family and friends continue to be so supportive. If you are reading this and I have failed to thank you for something, please just give me time. I am very appreciative of everything and everyone.
Summer days, and blessings, have just begun…
The Boys
I have already begun the process of sorting out some photos of Dad so that I can make a book to chronicle his life. It’s cathartic to go through the photos and the memories in a slow methodical way. And it will be nice to have a book to share with family members. However, what captivated me this morning was not the photos of Dad, but those of my middle brothers…affectionately referred to as “the boys”.
As most of you know, I have four brothers. My brother David and I grew up in California. We are four years apart and spent nearly four years together before the arrival of our brother Dan. Then we had barely a year before James was added to the group. We moved to Oklahoma a few years later. I doubt that Dan or James remember much of our other life. John made his appearance about eight years later, just two years before the birth of my own child, and is 100% Okie. To say that we have lived different lives is about like saying that the ocean is different from a lake. I’m not even sure if that is a proper analogy, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. California beaches…Oklahoma lakes.
I remembered “the boys” being close as children, but it wasn’t until I saw several of their photos that I realized they were almost like twins. They were often pests and often in my way, but they were also cute little munchkins. Fond memories evoked by each of these photos! I hope they feel the same. My favorite is the one with the reel mower behind them. I think every one of us took a turn on that old thing.
