I suppose some people find it strange that I spend so much time reading and writing about the past. I read about the history of our country, Native Americans, women, education. I research the history of the area, Caddo in particular. I read and write about my own history…my childhood, my family, my experiences. You would think that my obsession with the past would hinder my ability to function in the here and now. Actually, my understanding of the past enables me to endure the challenges of the present, appreciate my blessings, and face the future with faith and hope. As the Bible says, “there is nothing new under the sun”, and indeed my reading and research proves that to be so.
Since my brother’s death I’ve been more interested than ever in our family history and I’ve been reading some old letters, my diary, documents, etc. I also have lots of photos and a few scrapbooks. I’m trying, on my Family Ties blog, to tell more of “my story” with the intention of just entertaining and informing those family members who outlive me. It has been an enjoyable experience and I’m surprised by a few things in my past that I had forgotten about. One was an entry in my diary stating that I wanted to be a history teacher. I remember planning to be a ballerina, an artist, nurse, architect, English teacher, writer, model, movie star, and mother of a dozen children, but somehow “history teacher” wasn’t filed in my memory. Makes perfect sense in retrospect.
Reading about America’s history keeps me calm, despite our current pattern of crisis and disaster. We’ve faced most of this before and not only survived, but thrived. Until the Lord decides otherwise, we’ll continue to be challenged by nature, by our government, by our own mistakes. Such is life…
Reading about the history of Caddo gives me a sense of belonging here that’s sometimes difficult to describe. Although I was born in another state and spent many years away, Caddo has always had a profound emotional appeal for me. Even now, I can’t fully explain it. I suppose we don’t have to understand and explain everything in life. Perhaps it’s enough to just appreciate and enjoy!