We wandered out to Hagerman today. It was very cold and very windy; I had trouble holding the camera still. But we both agreed that the day was still enjoyable. There is always something to see out there!
I came to the conclusion today that I will never be the “best” at anything except being me. There will always be a better wife, mother, grandmother, writer, gardener, photographer, woman out there. Part of the problem is that I have never been a very competitive person by nature. I never did well at sports and I don’t really like to play games. The other deterrent to my being exceptional at any one thing is that I can’t seem to ever focus on ONE thing. My dad always said he was a “Jack of all trades, and master of none.” I think I took that to heart and it became my lifelong mantra. I had a dozen jobs before finding my current career. I’ve had more hobbies and avocations than I can count. My mind and my efforts are never totally concentrated on one passion.
For example: today I cleaned a closet, did some laundry, worked on my book, researched an article, made some cornbread, took a few photos, scanned some old newspaper clippings, shredded some business papers, dusted my elephant collection, and answered a dozen emails. On any other day I might add working in the garden or bird-watching to that list. And of course next week I’ll return to my real job!
Perhaps juggling so many activities is the reason for my constant attempts to organize my life. It seems that I am always filing, sorting, cleaning, storing, or compartmentalizing something in my life. My reasoning is that if I simplify my life I will be able to concentrate more on the most important tasks at hand. Somehow it never quite works out that way! I get organized and end up tackling something new or different because I’ve created a little more time or space in my life. I even had the wild idea yesterday that I might start cooking more. (Okay, my children can all stop laughing now.)
So…don’t expect to see my name on a list of the Top Ten teachers or gardeners or photographers or writers or cooks of 2014. But that’s okay with me. I’ll always be the best ME there is!
Gardening is the foundation of my sanity. Outside is where I find encouragement, happiness, peace, strength, and renewal. No matter what else is going on in my life, a walk in the garden helps put things into perspective. And so it seemed fitting to begin there today.
As I walked around I saw a lot of dried grass, ice damaged plants, and a few sprigs of green. I know it’s early to expect anything exciting in the garden yet, but I’m confident that we are only weeks away from the first blooms of spring. My garden magazines and catalogs are stacked next to my favorite spot on the couch. I’ve already chosen some new day lilies as my birthday present for next month. I’m anxious to see the new crop of wildflowers. I planted lots of new bulbs in the fall and I’ve never seen their pretty blooms before. The possibilities of spring allow me to manage the problems of winter and be positive about the beginning of a new year.
I hope that you too began 2014 doing something that brings you joy.