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Both of my children have turned out wonderful -- and I take no credit for it. I was a wild, although well-intentioned young girl. I was bright in school (IQ was 146, although I think I've lost lots of points since then) and was desperate for friends, so I wasn't very choosey and that may be why I was a follower rather than a leader.

And, when it came to boys, I wanted to be wanted. And I was attracted to wild young men. Naturally I had to get married -- if abortion had been available, I would have had one, but it wasn't, so I got married. Well, getting married just because you're pregnant is ridiculous -- he was a louse, but I stuck with him for 10 years, I guess just to prove everyone was wrong. It took another bad marriage before I found my soul-mate and we've been married now for 28 years...

My folks are long gone, but I spent most of my life apologizing to them or trying to please them, to no avail.

Meanwhile my kids (and their kids) have had marriages (and divorces), but all have good jobs and college degrees. They have caused me tears now and then, but none have ever been in jail or on drugs. They all have great work-ethics and some of my hippie ideals about morality and respect for the planet and some of the same politics. I am amazed!

I think part of this success is because I only had two children and was able to spend quality time with them and to actually know them as people... and they know me as a person, rather than just an authority-figure. It's my only explanation.


Thanks for sharing! I find the whole process fascinating, especially when a family has several children to be observed and compared. One of the perks of being a teacher.


You know my whole story so I will just say that parents are as influential as much as their child is willing to be influenced. All I hope is to be a good influence so if the child is receptive, they can see me trying to live as a moral person.

It is hard to accept the idea of genetics as it conflicts so much with free will--something we Americans hold dear--but I bow to the idea that just because I want something to be true, it doesn't mean that it is.

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