Sainthood

Someone’s child died this morning while you and I were making coffee and getting ready for our day.

They didn’t die tragically in an event that made the national news. They died quietly in their sleep of a disease that had ravaged their little body for months. They didn’t die at the hands of a stranger. They died  in the arms of a loving parent.

There won’t be reporters at the hospital asking their parents how they feel.

There won’t be hundreds mourning for them.

There won’t be scholarships dedicated to their name.

There won’t be politicians advocating to abolish the disease that killed them.

There won’t be laws enacted to protect other children from a similar fate.

 

Let’s face it. In our country HOW you die matters.

 

I was made painfully aware of that nearly thirty years ago. There was a front-page article in our local paper (CA) about the tragic drowning death of three young children. There were flowers left at the site where they died. There was outrage about the canal system that took their lives. People were quite vocal, and generous, in their support of the grieving parents. However, in the same issue of the paper there was a tiny obituary for a child who had died by strangling on a window blind cord in his own home. Media attention? None. Mourners? Family and friends.

 

We rally round the latest tragedy in a predictable model of concern and support, offering condolences and support, expressing outrage and demanding changes in our society. The bigger the tragedy the greater the reaction. The higher the victim count, the stronger our resolve to make sure it never happens again. And we are even somewhat selective about the victims. Harm our children and we will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. I think our reaction might even be similar if the victims were elderly.  General population? maybe not so much.  But my son is fond of reminding me that everyone who dies “tragically” qualifies for sainthood.

 

The truth is that one of the children killed last week might have been mentally ill and might have grown up to be a danger to himself and others. We want to think otherwise. We want to remember each and every child as that sweet, smiling, innocent image flashed on the screen by the news media. But don’t you think the family of Adam Lanza could produce just such a sweet, smiling, innocent image of him at the same age?

 

While we argue about safety and security at school, while we debate whether or not teachers should arm themselves, while we prostrate ourselves in prayer and supplication over this horrific event…

someone’s child will die unnoticed by the public because of how they died,

someone’s grief will be ignored because it isn’t televised,

and a future mass murderer will be educated in a classroom in your own community.

 

A five year old walked up to me yesterday and proudly told me about one of the guns used in the game, Call to Duty. How will that impact his future? I suppose that depends on his personality. But you can bet that by the time he is twenty he will know a variety of ways to kill someone.

 

We need to get to the root of this problem and solve it. We need to recognize and treat these children while they are young enough to respond positively to change. We need to stop worrying about what weapon they are going to use and work on the mind that chooses any weapon as a way to solve problems.

 

The qualification for sainthood shouldn’t be a tragic death. It should be an honorable life. We need to make sure more of these children live one.

 

Comments

[Dee/reddirtramblings]

The last paragraph says it all my friend. How will we choose to live?~~Dee

[Classof65]

I went to high school with a guy who became a serial killer, BTK in Wichita, KS. I'm also friends with a guy whose brother raped and murdered a woman...

Both men were considered strange, although the serial killer was not feared in high school. The rapist/murderer was wild and violent and was feared, rightfully so as it turns out.

We probably all know people who really didn't fit in at school, but the majority never become killers. And I doubt there is any fool-proof way to identify who will become a killer. We are a large country with a large population. These people, even if they plan methodically, act on their impulses and we have no way to know what will set a person off...

[Megan]

It is frightening to watch, wonder and pray over a child that could follow a terrible path. We've been talking a LOT about this subject and truly don't know how to solve it.

I think we need more intervention and resources for the mentally ill. How to do that and still allow civil liberties? I have no idea.

Guns in school? Wow. I feel like the more guns, the more likely it is that people will be killed. Trent thinks that maybe we could bring in vets and retired policemen who'd be happy to do the job. But what percentage of these new special helpers would themselves be mentally unhealthy?

People and children die everyday. I do not like the sensationalism, I do not like that it takes sensationalism to spur action. But it does seem to be our current human condition. Flawed.