The View from Here

Life is not fair...

I find myself struggling lately with the realities of aging. Now that I have found a career I love and several hobbies I am passionate about, I have to prioritize my time, my strength, and my brain power in order to accomplish even half of what I attempt to do. LOL Gone are the days when I could procrastinate and stay up until 1am to complete a project. Gone are the days when I could work all day, attend a party at night, and still be alert the next morning. Nowadays it is a matter of pondering and planning to even work all day and stop by Walmart to do a little shopping before going home. Will I still have enough time and energy to do some laundry, cook dinner, wash dishes, answer emails, work on my book, read, work a jigsaw puzzle, or watch a few minutes of television with Gary? Often the answer is “no” because if I sit down anywhere, I fall asleep! I suppose the old saying that “youth is wasted on the young” has some validity. I never knew how strong and energetic I was when I was!

Last night I didn’t do what I had planned to do.

I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to accomplish.

I postponed three tasks until Saturday.

I took two Tylenol and went to bed early.

But now it’s Friday!! Life may not be fair, but it’s still so very good!

Just Ask

Yesterday I told God and FB that I am SO ready for spring.

Ready to dig in the dirt and feel the warmth of sunshine on my back.

Ready to see some color in the yard.

Ready to hear birds calling to each other as they build their spring nests.

Can we just say winter is over?

Well, I went home to this glorious answer!

I didn’t dig in the dirt, but I got mud all over my shoes as I tromped into the garden plot for a closer look at the toadflax that is covered in buds and a few blooms.

And it was 70 degrees when I noticed the flock of ducks having a great time on the pond.

And a little chickadee joined me in celebration of spring!

Okay, I know it’s still February and anything can happen…

But I asked, and I received. Let me enjoy the moment!  

Two Little Words

I received two “thank you” messages yesterday. One was from a parent of a child in another class. She stopped by my room to thank me for my kindnesses toward her child during our daily car duty.  Another was an email thank you from a woman who had looked for years for the obituary of her g-g-grandmother and was relieved to finally see it on my Caddo blog. Both were all the more welcome because they were unexpected and unnecessary.

I was raised to be polite and to thank people for their help and service. I was even taught at home and in school that a grateful acknowledgement was expected when one received a gift. Not so anymore. I often send out gifts and money to family members and never know if they have even been received. I sometimes do favors for people and never hear from them. I witness children of all ages accepting gifts without even saying a verbal thank you, unless prompted by an adult. I guess we are living in a less formal society that doesn’t place as much value on manners.

I know that writing and regular mail are falling into disuse, but I hope that gratitude and the old-fashioned “thank you”, both written and verbal, are not neglected as well. I sure appreciated hearing those two little words yesterday!

Happy Valentine's Day to My BFF

Yes, folks it’s time for the sappy photos of those crazy Maurers. If you don’t like it, browse elsewhere today. My honey and I are celebrating our 41^st Valentine’s Day, soon to be followed by our 40^th wedding anniversary. Gary has always been my sweetheart, but more important….he’s always been my best friend.

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!

The Fat Lady is NOT Singing...

I had a brief “aha” moment yesterday as I realized that I probably will NOT experience a dramatic, life-altering weight loss in the near future. Oh, I wasn’t really holding my breath anyway…but I did have visions of losing twenty or thirty pounds this year. Well…maybe not. I have made more changes in my diet during the past few months than many people make in a lifetime, yet I have lost only six pounds since December. I feel better and I have no doubt that my health has improved. But the sad fact is that weight boils down to calorie input vs. expenditure, and my activity level may never again reach the “energetic” state needed to burn off even an average amount of calories. Arthritis, injuries, and age have slowed my pace down considerably. So my options are to either dramatically cut my calorie intake or just do the best I can to improve my health and quit worrying about whether or not I also lose weight. I don’t plan on starving…

Still eating lots of veggies and no meats. I find that fruit is the most difficult thing to add to my diet without drinking too much juice, which adds sugar.

Still trying to eat a basic daily diet and add a little variety at dinner.

Still don’t buy or use sugar or salt.

Still drinking non-fat milk.

Still cooking with olive oil.

Still eating whole wheat bread.

Still eating fish a couple of times a week.

Still eating real eggs. Cheaper and tastier than the fake ones.

What are you eating these days?

 

 

Lazy

Not to worry…I’m still here. Just having a lazy weekend. It is bitterly cold and the wind is howling outside. I’ve been doing some research, typing, and working on a jigsaw puzzle. Exciting stuff!

These lovely creatures were on the pond when I came home yesterday. I’ve not taken the time yet to identify them.

Stay warm and well. Later….

What's Not to Love?

Red…

Hearts…

Chocolate…

Flowers…

Family…

Friendships…

Relationships…

No religious disagreements…

No big dinners…

No excuses for wild partying or excessive drinking…

Equal opportunities for young and old, boy and girl, good and bad….

Valentine’s Day! Can’t wait to celebrate!

Hours in the Day

I am plagued lately by overwhelming fatigue at the end of each day. I know it can’t be old age and must by default be caused by the weather, allergies, or something else that will pass as soon as the sun shines warmly again into the late hours of the evening. In the meantime I’ve been taking a brief (30-40 minute) nap after I get home. Is it still a siesta if it’s at four thirty? LOL Seems to help and I awake a little more refreshed and ready to tackle my home chores.

There still aren’t enough hours in the day, because by 9:00 I always find myself “hurrying up” to finish one last thing before bedtime. Last night it was one more page of the church records I’m typing. Tonight it will be bills and correspondence. And in addition to laundry and cooking and dishes I sometimes like to read a book or magazine, work a jig-saw puzzle, or watch a little television! Those four hours between 5:00 and 9:00 sound like plenty of time, but somehow they are never adequate. And then I start all over again at 4am.

At least I am fortunate to be the author of my own “to do” list and I am not subject to the whims or requests of little ones. I had a lot more energy when my children were at home and I was much better at multi-tasking! I pray for my friends and colleagues who are managing work, home, and children.

Of course I must confess that the computer and internet, rather than saving my time as I once envisioned, have consumed my time in ways I would not have foreseen just a decade ago when I was fearfully learning to navigate the virtual world. While I don’t play games or browse or shop much online, I do love FB and I spend far too many hours on Ancestry and other genealogy sites. Of course the results have been mostly positive and my life has been enriched by old and new friendships. But again…a matter of time and how to use it wisely.

I suppose it all comes back to the wisdom of two of my favorite women. My grandmother always told me, “there is no rest for the wicked”, and my neighbor always said, “well, if we’re here tomorrow it will get done, and if we’re not it won’t matter”. Words to live by!

Make it a good day!

A Woman of Kind Deeds and Kind Words

I read an obituary yesterday that made me stop and think about how we are described by others. In a society where most women work outside the home, we are often tagged by others with our job title or described  as “Jake’s mom”,  “Fred’s wife” or some other relationship reference. Gary often jokes that no one knows his real name…he’s just “Mary’s husband”. Better than being known as “the woman who looks for dead people”. Lol But all kidding aside, I hope that each of us is known for some character trait uniquely ours or something kind and enduring we do for others. Many of the obituaries of the past described more of a woman’s life and deeds because the writer didn’t have a job description as an alternative. I like the idea of being identified as more than “teacher” or “writer” or “gardener”. Even though each is truly a major part of what I do, none is descriptive of who I am.

The tribute I read yesterday was written for Mrs. W. R. Crossett in 1928 and said, “She lead a useful life, one of kind deeds as well as kind words”. The editor of the paper had used the term “useful life” before to describe Mrs. Bilbo, one of Caddo’s most active community workers. Reading that phrase always makes me wonder if people wouldn’t be happier leading a useful life instead of so determinedly pursuing entertainment and financial gain.

Sometimes the writers of obituaries wax poetic and as my son says, “everyone who dies becomes a saint”. Indeed, we don’t like to speak ill of the dead. So perhaps some of the words written about them are little extravagant, as in this tribute to a young mother who died with her infant: “Her work is greater than rulers of kingdoms, leaders of armies, or angels of mercy on the battle field; her life comprises so many things, but always important.” But I think that more often than not the essence of a person’s life can be aptly described by those who lived around them. I think that regardless of a person’s job title or prominence in society, most of us categorize those around us by their deeds and words, and as we think about those who have left us behind we remember the character of who they were, not what they did to earn a living.

So, let’s all try to lead a useful life, one of kind deeds and kind words.

Learning 101

Yesterday my aunt brought me this precious photo of my mom’s high school class. (She hasn’t been hiding it for years; it was given to her just this week by a friend.) I’ve posted it on my Caddo blog, as well as FB in an effort to identify as many people as possible. I know the names of the people who went on to graduate without mom, but I’d love to match them with their faces.

My mom didn’t graduate with her class, never went back to school after she and Dad moved to California to make a new life together. I always got the impression that while she was somewhat apologetic about not having that piece of paper, the eleventh grade was more than enough schooling for her. She never really liked school that much. An odd statement about someone who lived the rest of her life supporting and encouraging everyone and everything remotely associated with education.

Mom also spent her life reading and writing and helping others to read and write. She loved to do research and write informative articles that helped and encouraged others. She was smart enough to help local college students edit their term papers. So why was she unwilling to complete her own education?

I think the standard method of education was the antithesis of what Mom needed as a young woman. The formality, the timing, the testing, the expectations, even the group setting was not suited to her personality or nature. She didn’t mention it often, but she disliked doing anything under the pressure of a deadline. She didn’t perform well on tests. And she often wandered away from a required topic in order to explore something more interesting. When I think back to the conversations we had about my own education I realize that I often suffered from the same problems, but her understanding helped me find the determination to continue.

As a teacher I have always been troubled by our notion that education can be a “one size fits all” solution to our nation’s social and economic problems.  And while I favor the new shift toward national standards and expectations, so that our transient population can expect a more comparable education in any and every state, I am against demanding that every child complete the same requirements in the same time frame with the same results. That isn’t equitable, fair, or even rational.  Children aren’t blueberries!

I love the analogy of the manufacturer who makes the world’s best blueberry muffins. The reason they taste so great is because he uses an old family recipe and only the best blueberries from each year’s crop.

Well, not only do we have to educate ALL of our little blueberries, even the ones who would be left at home in other cultures, but we try to use the same methods for all of them. Then we wonder why some drop out or fail!

Like my mom, many students know what they know, but they don’t perform well on tests. They don’t answer quickly enough for timed tests. They don’t remember information in isolated bits and pieces. They don’t know enough about the computer to perform well during online tests (which are quickly becoming mandatory).  They don’t like the competition of group testing.

There are many students who don’t want to write poetry or solve algebraic equations and couldn’t care less about the War of 1812, but excel in areas that are being cut out of education: art, music, agriculture, industrial arts.

Someday we have to get back to training students for what they want to do in life. We have to support what they do best. We have to celebrate whatever talents they possess. We have to encourage them to be the best they can be, even if that best isn’t a college-bound student. There are lots of successful people in society who don’t have a diploma hanging on their wall. There are LOTS of unsuccessful people in society who DO have a diploma hanging on their wall. We have to stop being afraid to acknowledge that! We have to develop more and more diverse opportunities in education, and in the earlier grades- not continue to narrow our focus back down to reading, writing, and mathematics.

I teach what I’m required by the state and district to teach and I do my best to make sure that each of my students understands as much of our curriculum as possible before I send them on to the first grade. But I know in my heart that some of my little ones are already falling behind their classmates. I know they will have a sense of failure by the time they complete their state tests in the third grade. I know that some of their strengths and abilities will only be discovered outside the classroom…if they are lucky. I pray that like my mom, they find a path in life that allows them to achieve their goals and give joy to others.