We’re off to a blustery start here on the prairie. I’m not sure what the wind speed is, but I hear it howling and I hope I didn’t leave anything in the yard yesterday that will find its way into the neighbor’s pasture.
I didn’t stay up late last night. I told Gary as we went to bed at 10pm that “it’s midnight somewhere”. We aren’t the party animals that we were in our youth! And I didn’t need proof of the time change... I had faith that it would happen.
So here we are with a new page on the calendar. This week is filled with birthdays as many friends and a few family members begin the New Year with a personal celebration. Katrina’s birthday is Wednesday and my father will be 82 next Sunday. Best wishes to all of you! More on Kat and Dad later.
I used to start the year with high hopes that I would finally do or be or have all the things I wanted. I made long detailed lists of the ways I was going to change my life. Each year I resolved to lose weight, spend less money, get more exercise, be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, employee, etc., etc. However, I don’t think I truly understood the dynamics of lasting change until recently.
We often look back on our lives and reflect upon the person we used to be and the things we used to do. Many blogs today will contain a recap of the “good, bad, and otherwise” of 2011. Writers will recall the joys and heartaches of the year and try to distill some sort of wisdom from them. Many will base their actions in the next few weeks on a determination to wrap up 2012 next December with more joys than heartaches. I might be tempted to do the same…except…
The past is already done. Over. Finished. No matter how much I ponder it or analyze it, I can’t change it. And I have found from experience that what I did in the past was based on WHO I WAS in the past. I’m not that person anymore. I can’t react today the way that person did. Each moment, each day, each experience changes us in subtle ways. We may not see the evidence of it for days or weeks or even months, but one day we’ll find ourselves doing or not doing something and think “when did that happen?” I found two skeins of yarn in the closet yesterday and realized that I have not knitted or crocheted anything in almost a year. At times in the past I have spent half of each year on some project or another. I used to take afghans with me when I traveled on the truck with Gary in the summer. I didn’t decide one day that I wasn’t going to crochet anymore…it has just happened. Other things in my life have crowded out that activity. And that has happened because I have allowed it. I have been willing and ready for that part of my life to change. That’s just one tiny example, and perhaps not even a good one, but I think you get the idea. The most lasting changes in our life are sometimes the ones that sneak up on us, one action at a time, not the ones that we desire to make right this minute!
Another reason I won’t closely examine last year or plan this one is because my core resolve is always the same: Do the best you can where you are with what you have.
May you be blessed this year with health and peace- if you have those you can tackle everything else with grace and wisdom.