My vacation time is drawing to a close and I feel like there are a dozen things I should have done.
The month is nearly over and I feel like there are a dozen things I should have done.
The year is winding down and I feel like there are a dozen things I should have done.
I always have so many ideas and projects and lists and plans floating around in my brain! My imagination has been my gift and my curse since I was a small child. I endured hours and hours of tedious farm work by creating stories and pictures and future plans in my mind. I would take a premise like “I have a private zoo.” and then create it in my mind in excruciating detail. Or I would envision what I would do if I became a doctor, architect, or fashion designer. Another of my favorite pastimes was imagining how I would spend $1,000- a sum almost too large to even fathom! I tied grape vines and chopped cotton and picked peaches with my hands, but my mind was elsewhere.
I still have more ideas and plans each day than I can possibly act upon. On the one hand, I am never bored or at a loss for something to do. But on the other hand, I am never quite satisfied that I have accomplished as much as I could. I suppose what saves my sanity and my self-image is the realization that time is an arbitrary constraint created by man. Our days and weeks and months and years are measured and packaged in portions that reasonably suit society’s needs, but time is not something that is ever exact. Each day is seconds longer or shorter than the previous one. And each day is simply another day, regardless of what we choose to call it.
The line between November and December is a line drawn by us, and I have to remind myself that deadlines and timetables and goals are manmade and can be adjusted or changed just as easily as they were created! There is no reason for me to be disappointed about some of the “deadlines” I’ve missed this month because they were simply created by my mind in order to keep me focused. Some of my projects may actually turn out better if I complete them next year! And deadlines set by others are still within my control; it is still up to me to decide what I want to do.
So…I can settle for the satisfaction of making progress, continuing on, and doing what I can each day and still feel good about it. Now if I could just keep my mind from thinking up more things for me to do!
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