The View from Here

Last Day of October

Today is Halloween. It was my grandpa Springer’s birthday and is also the anniversary of the day Gary’s grandmother died. Each day on the calendar carries multiple meanings- good and bad- for many people. I just consider it the end of the month and the beginning of “The Holidays”. Even though I’ve already purchased a few gifts, this is when the hunt takes on the first hint of anxiety. This is when the sales get serious. This is when the calendar gets crazy with events and days off and required actions. This is when the weather begins its wild dance toward winter.  This is when the roller coaster starts its thrilling slide toward the new year. You mock me now, but I promise you it will happen before we are ready.

Next week the time changes and we will “fall back”. Our old computer, which Gary now uses only for games, must belong to the European Union, because it changed its time this weekend. LOL Arizona does not observe the change, although the Navajo Nation does. And for my nerd friends, yes, I just learned that it is Daylight Saving Time, not Daylight Savings Time.  I’ll try to remember. Check the batteries in your smoke detectors, clocks, and flashlights this week! Consider that your public service announcement.

Our weather is changing and we are getting a little relief from the drought. Our extended forecast however, is for a mild, dry winter. Perhaps that sounds good after all the snow we had last year, but the ground needs more moisture. A little snow would not be a bad thing. Of course a LOT is a nightmare. Snow has devastated the northeast and caused death and destruction. We need to remember them in our prayers. Even in areas where snow is a common occurrence, this is unusual because of its timing and strength. It seems the whole country has had more than its share of unusual weather this year.

My mantra for November is “do what you can”. I know I will get caught up in the push to do more, but it is a futile endeavor that always leads to fatigue and frustration. Let’s not go there!

Here’s to a safe Halloween! Be careful out there tonight.

Forty Years of Friendship

Have I told you lately how much I enjoy my husband’s company? We will celebrate our fortieth wedding anniversary next March, but we have known each other since June of 1970 so we have already passed the milestone of being friends nearly forever. And I think we became friends from our first meeting. We shared common backgrounds and interests and values and ideas. Oh, we are very different in personality, for sure, but isn’t that how it is with most good friends? I like to think that we complement each other.

I hadn’t given our friendship much thought lately, at least not until yesterday. Gary has not been off for a weekend since August. Yesterday we got to spend the day together, without any real plans, and it was just great to be together. We stopped in town for a chat and a quick project with friends. We drove out to the wildlife refuge. We had lunch. We went shopping. Yes, we shop together! In fact, on a whim we bought a new rug for the living room and I actually liked his choice better than mine. We bought groceries. We came home and watched a movie. It was just nice to be together and talk and relax. Today we are going back to town to see that ape movie.

I

In case you are wondering, no we don’t always agree, and yes, sometimes we argue. You can’t live with someone, or even just know someone for forty years and not have some differences of opinion. We’ve had our share of problems and I’ll admit that I am much more demanding of him than he is of me. I’m just a bit OCD about some things. Okay, a lot of things. However, I think that if you are committed to a relationship that is fundamentally good and enjoyable and satisfying, you accept the less than perfect moments as just part of the deal. We all have bad days, so do relationships.

Now that I’ve given this some thought and I’m in a warm fuzzy mood, I’ll cut him some slack for leaving the sugar open when he made tea last night. :)

Be nice to your friend today!

Comfort

Wednesday it turned cold so I fixed vegetable soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. Last night it was even colder, and raining, so I put our flannel sheets on the bed and hooked up the electric blanket. I pulled grandmother’s afghan out of the closet. Plugged in the electric heater that warms our bathroom. Took my fuzzy pajamas out of storage. The older I get, the more I enjoy comfort.

I spent a lot of my childhood being cold, hungry, tired, uncomfortable, and worried because of circumstances beyond my control. I worked long hours at school and then in the fields and went home to less-than-wonderful situations.

I spent a lot of my early adulthood being worried, tired, uncomfortable, and sometimes even in pain for the sake of pride, fashion, and personal satisfaction. I did too much, too often, and too quickly. Slept and ate too little. I tried too hard to be perfect in looks and actions.

I spent a lot of my early parenting years being worried, tired, uncomfortable, and often in pain for the sake of my children. I did too much and sacrificed too much in order to be the best mom that I could be. I often set aside my own needs and health and that wasn’t good for me or my children.

I spent a lot of my forties and fifties being worried, tired, uncomfortable, and yes, frequently in mental and physical pain for the sake of my career ambitions. I pushed the limits of my capabilities. I commuted too far and slept too little. I worked through accidents and illnesses and heartaches.  

I suppose that explains why I sometimes now go out of my way to avoid pretty but uncomfortable fashions, worthy but stressful situations, enjoyable but tiring activities, or expected but demanding relationships. I seek solace in routines, and security in the predictability of my daily life. I make my little nest here as comfortable as possible so that I can retreat from the worries and stresses of the world.

None of us can totally avoid fatigue or worry or discomfort or pain, but we can treat ourselves to some warmth and softness at the end of the day.  It helps…

Times Gone By

Yesterday morning I wrote down some thoughts about old things. Later my friend and I discussed some things and experiences that were part of our childhood, but have to be explained to our grandchildren. That got my memory going and I want to share some of them with you. Raise your hand if you also remember any of these:

1. Our refrigerator had a tiny freezer compartment that held about two ice trays so if we needed more we went to the ice plant and bought it. We put a quarter into a machine and a huge block of ice came out. We later chipped that into smaller pieces with an ice pick.
2. My grandparents didn’t have indoor plumbing until I was about nine, so when we visited we used an outhouse that was out in the pasture. I hated walking out there because I was afraid of the cows!
3. For a year we lived in a house that didn’t have hot water. We heated water on the wood stove for washing and bathing. We heated water for laundry in an iron cauldron over an open fire and then put it into a wringer washer. We hung the clothes on a clothes line.
4. When I was a teenager I got pneumonia and the doctor came to our house to treat me.
5. I remember trying to make a phone call and having to wait until the others on our party line were finished talking. Mom always fussed at me for listening to their conversations a little too long. 
6.  When we visited the city we often rode in an elevator that had a kind gentleman who asked what floor you wanted to visit. Then he pushed the button for you!
7. My first camera had a flashbulb cube on top. (I had used Dad’s Brownie before that and remember looking down into the little viewer. And it had a handle to rewind the film.) 
8.  A young friend and neighbor of ours lived in an iron lung. I visited her often and was both fascinated and repulsed by it.
9. One of my favorite places to go was to the drive-in movie. We packed our dinner and took lots of pillows and blankets with us. Dad made sure we arrived early so we could play on the playground in front of the screen. Sometimes we had to change parking spaces three or four times before we found a speaker that actually worked when it was hooked onto the window. (Speakers were often vandalized.)  
10. We usually had chicken for Sunday dinner because my dad went out to the yard, picked one out, rung its neck, and brought it in to the kitchen for us to pluck. I have plucked chickens, ducks, geese, quails, and pheasants. Also helped clean and prepare squirrels, rabbits, and fish.

More memories, not enough time... You know that if you also remember these you are old. Lol

And if you remember this outhouse you are from Caddo!

Old Things

I’ve always had a penchant for old things, especially old barns and homes. I ponder their history and wonder about former occupants.  I am amazed by their endurance. I find their scars and imperfections intriguing. And while new homes are more comfortable and efficient, old ones are sometimes more comforting. No matter what happens within their walls, they’ve witnessed it all before.

Over the years I have gathered a few old things around me and kept them as talismans against our ever changing society. I have my grandmother’s rolling pin and my great-grandmother’s salt shakers. I keep a lovely vase given to me by a friend forty-five years ago. I have one grandfather’s television lamp and the other’s flannel shirt. My son calls these and the other twenty or so items in my collection “useless stuff”, but nothing is useless if it brings you comfort and offers you a sense of enduring security. I understand fully that they are just things, and things can be lost, broken, and stolen. My life would not end if they were all lost to some unforeseen tragedy. But while they are here it is soothing to see them and touch them and know that generations before me have done the same.

 I suppose I was thinking of this because my father and I were discussing the people lined up to buy the newest phone. He will soon be eighty-two years old, and although he owns and uses a cell phone for safety and convenience, he does not feel that he has to buy the newest or most impressive one just because it is available. He is a practical old-fashioned man who isn’t easily impressed by all things “new”. I guess we must be related!

I wonder sometimes what will be saved and treasured from our throwaway culture. We seldom keep anything beyond its warranty expiration before replacing it with the latest and greatest.  But perhaps something loved and valued will be kept by this generation as a reminder of us.

 

Stories Left Untold

During the reunion my aunts were looking at a photo album and reminiscing about some events that took place in their teen years. One of them told the other “a story I’ve never told before”, a confession of sorts, about how a borrowed dress ended up with a hole in it. We all laughed at the telling and then enjoyed other stories prompted by the photos. But I found myself wondering how many other wonderful stories of their lives were left untold. They grew up in a time when events weren’t tweeted and published and photographed and shared just moments after they occurred. And there was more of a reluctance to admit and share any action that was mischievous or devious. It seems that nothing is concealed anymore.

Oh, I suppose that even now there must be some things we wouldn’t tell just anybody, secrets that will go with us to the grave. I have a few and I’m sure my aunts do too. But I am going to encourage them and you too, to tell a few stories that would entertain and enlighten future generations. Here are some questions to get you started.

1. Where did the family live when you were born? How long did you live there? Does the house still exist? What specific memories do you have of the house or furniture?
2. What is the first Christmas that you remember? Why do you remember that one?
3. Who was your best friend in high school? Why? When did you meet?
4. How and why did you get your first job?
5. How did you meet your spouse? When did you know he/she was “the one”?
6. What was your nickname when you were a child? Who gave it to you? Why?
7. Who was your favorite relative when you were ten years old? Why?
8. Who was your favorite teacher? Why?
9. What was your first pet? Favorite? What happened to it?
10. Where did your family go for vacations? Which was your favorite trip?

I could go on and on with a hundred questions, but once you get started you probably won’t have to be prompted. Another good trick for eliciting memories is to take your ten favorite photos and explain them in detail. No matter how you do it, write your stories down and give them to your family.

Wow!

What a weekend! I had a great time at our Springer reunion. Lots of memories and laughter. So good to see folks that I seldom see. I know we are family, but time and distance and commitments get the best of us. That’s why annual gatherings are so important. I only wish more of the cousins could have attended.

I always enjoy listening to the playful banter of my aunts. I remember so many good times with them. I feel privileged to have shared a small part of their lives and to have learned so much about life from them and from my mother. My cousins are a diverse group, but we all seem to have traits and interests in common. I’m sure you can see where I get my curly hair!

And yes, I noticed as soon as I saw the photos that I really do need to lose twenty more pounds (okay fifty, but let’s not be mean). Working on it…six more this month. I’m on the slow but steady plan.  

I spent the afternoon completing some research and projects, thinking I could upload my photos and write a brief post in the early evening. Au contraire! The satellite decided to be cranky and not work so I thought I’d just wait until early this morning.

Low and behold…the weatherman was correct and we were awakened during the night by a violent storm, high winds, lightning, and no power. Thank goodness for lanterns, a propane stove, and an old-fashioned drip coffee pot that I bought years ago for camping. Managed to get Gary off to work! The power didn’t come back on until after 8am. At least our rain gauge shows that we got an inch of water in exchange for a little inconvenience. Well worth it!  

Hope you have a relaxing day!

Off to see the cousins....

more later!

Pets Are Us

I know I’m going to offend someone this morning. So I apologize…but I have to admit it’s not one of my most sincere apologies.

I stopped by a major pet store yesterday to buy a heater for my aquarium and I was suddenly struck by the sheer absurdity of how much time, money, and love we shower on our pets. I think it was the clothing and toy aisle for ferrets that really astounded me. Ferrets! Clothing, toys, and special food for an animal that looks like a big rat! Okay, cute face, but honestly…clothing?

And of course there are also rows and rows of organic and “custom” pet foods for every animal you can imagine keeping. There are magazines, toys, cookies, candy, treats, collars, cages, beds, and medications. I think some of our children would be thrilled to be treated so well!

Stay with me here. You know I’m a cat lover and I have an aquarium. In the past we’ve owned dogs, mice, rabbits, and birds of all kinds. I’ve spent my share of money on vet bills, food, toys, and treats. In fact, my current cat is addicted to catnip treats and I know she would be very annoyed with me if I served her breakfast without them. However, I assure you that she isn’t getting a sweater for Christmas!

I guess I “draw the line” at clothing for pets. There are lots of clothing items for dogs that just look too much like baby clothes. And then there are the toys and accessories. Shoes! What self-respecting dog wants to wear shoes? The store we visited has a grooming service and of course there was a dog getting its nails polished.  Does that make the dog a pet, or some woman’s fashion accessory?

I saw a program recently that showed some of the horrible results of “designer dog” breeding. As we demand smaller dogs and dogs with traits that are usually recessive, we get more and more pets that can’t function as normal animals. They require more care and have more serious health problems. Some are even much more aggressive. At some point we have to stop breeding for “cute and cuddly” and be realistic about the role of animals in our lives.

 Before you start throwing things at me, consider this. Americans spend over $45 billion dollars a year on their pets. Read that again slowly and notice the “b”. Yep…billion. Ten billion is spent on supplies and over the counter medicines. I’m guessing a big portion of that is spent on clothing, toys, and houses/cages. The current areas of rapid growth are organic pet food, pet insurance, and vet care. We are now spending more on medicine and surgical procedures because they are available. Medical procedures that were once used only for humans are now options for pets.

And the surprising thing is that as the economy gets worse spending on pets remains relatively stable. Even though we see occasional reports about owners of horses or other big animals neglecting or abandoning them, most owners of dogs, cats, and other more common pets just cut back on other expenses.

$45 billion.

 I just wonder what we could do if some of those billions were spent on education or medical care for children.

And the recent events in Ohio have drawn attention to the dangers of keeping exotic pets. That’s a whole other blog. But before you think that’s an isolated incident, know that there are more tigers in captivity in Texas than there are in the wilds of India!! At least 4,000 that are reported. Who knows how many are being kept illegally.

 

Wednesday...Whew!

Well, my first day of fall break was very different than I’d imagined.  First I overslept and didn’t have time to post my blog. I received a devastating email that left me heartbroken, and will be shared later. I rushed around to arrive at the hospital for my early morning appointment for a mammogram. (Make YOUR appointment if you haven’t done so this year!) I forgot that the hospital is building an addition and I drove too close to the construction zone and found it very, very difficult to park. Even harder to get out later, but I made it.

Then I went to the library and got some novels to read…not sure when. Lol Still impressed by the new library. So wonderful! Mother would have loved it.

Visited the genealogy library and did some research for a couple of hours. They are in the middle of major reorganizing and it is a bit chaotic, but I managed to find everything. Funny how the fact that they made some sections more “left handed” bothered me. It’s a right-handed world…

Home for lunch and a nap. Yes, nap…I was still tired from the prior evening and my allergies were bothering me.

Back to town for a lecture and flu shot from my doctor. The lecture was the usual- my blood pressure is too high. I’ve lost six more pounds, but need to lose twenty.

Home by 5:30.

Watched the news: More on the animal fiasco in Ohio where my cousin lives. Tragic.

Dinner. Phone calls. Survivor. Finished a puzzle.

More emails. Big thanks to Billy for the gorgeous photos of Vermont! Nice way to end the day.

Today we are headed to Texas for some Christmas shopping. As usual my appeals to Hobby Lobby and other favorite stores have been ignored and I must cross the river to shop! Why can’t they just build a store in Durant???? At least my daughter in CA now has a Hobby Lobby to call her own. I love that store!

Have a great day!