It happens each year, but it’s still amusing.
I put the February birthday cake on the board with all the birthdays for the month.
The children discuss the various birthdays.
Then invariably one will turn to me and ask, “How old are you Mrs. Maurer?”
After the answer there is stunned silence while little brains are “doing the math”.
“Wow! That’s a big number!”
Yesterday the talk turned to parents and each child tried to remember the ages of theirs. Some seemed pretty close. I heard a few that sounded impromptu, but for the most part they seemed to be recalling facts. Some even knew the month of their parent’s birthday. I sat there thinking “I’m old enough to be the parent of their parents!” But instead of making me feel “old” or “bad” it was strangely comforting. I finally feel like I might know what I’m doing…at least most of the time.
I remember longing to be in my twenties so I would be free of the angst of being a teenager. But I was rarely happy during my twenties and still convinced that every other thing I did was wrong.
I was overwhelmed by my thirties. So much responsibility. So many tasks. So many expectations. Most of the time I didn’t have the time to question whether my actions were right or wrong. I simply acted and prayed, or prayed and acted. Have faith and hang on…
By the time I reached my forties I felt more comfortable about myself, my life, my future, my children, my marriage. I’d made some mistakes, but for the most part everything and everyone turned out okay.
In my fifties I felt confident and mature. I was finally doing what I was born to do- teach. Sure, there were ups and downs, at work and at home, but it no longer felt like a roller coaster, just “life in general”- to be enjoyed, endured, and appreciated.
Now that I’m moving into the next decade I realize there have been new subtle shifts in my attitude.
I am more interested in other people because I literally am old enough to be the parent of at least fifty percent of the people I know.
I don’t care about a lot of the things that seemed important when I was younger.
I don’t worry about a lot of things that kept me up at night when I was younger.
I crave comfort more than fashion, security more than excitement, personal satisfaction more than public recognition.
I am more confident in my decisions and opinions and I don’t care who disagrees with me.
I am less fearful.
I am finally happy to be me.
It’s a good feeling.
Be happy with yourself today!