The View from Here

Lesson Learned

Yesterday during cleanup one of my students threw a plastic piece of toast and hit one of her classmates in the face. There was instant crying from both the offender and the offended! I took both to the office with me while my colleague watched my class.

As we waited a minute for the nurse, I talked with my students about what had happened. Both were still crying, but the one who had thrown the toy was actually crying more than her victim. I know she was waiting for her punishment. However, I felt that watching her classmate’s agony for a few minutes, and feeling fear and guilt, was sufficient punishment.  I think that is often what is lacking in our society. We don’t actually see the consequences of our actions.

When we returned to the room, I read a story to the class and everyone calmed down. After I started the rest of the class on a project I called my student to my desk and gave her a “model” of a folded card. I gave her instructions on how to write “I’m sorry”, which she did. Then she gave the card to her classmate and apologized verbally. They later talked and played together again. She came up to me later and apologized to me and I told her “Lesson learned- now you know what happens when you throw things in the room.” She nodded and said, “Yes.”

Lesson learned. To my way of thinking that is the ideal discipline situation. The consequences fit what happened. Everyone in my class actually learned the lesson and I doubt that any student will forget this very soon! They may do other things, but throwing toys won’t be a problem for a while.

Most of us learn life’s lessons the hard way. That’s just the way we are. But once learned, they make a difference in who we are.

Have a great day!

Honesty

Those of you who are friends from Facebook know I was a little upset last night. I realize that honesty and morality are rather gray areas in our society, but I still get indignant about anything involving a child. I’ll recap for the rest of you:

I had finished my shopping at WalMart last night and was walking to my truck.  A woman with two children was walking right in front of me and she was also parked next to me. Her children, a girl and a boy, appeared to be about thirteen and ten.  Just as we approached our vehicles the boy shouted and told his mom that there was large pack of water in one of the carts in the cart corral. I expected to hear her tell him that someone had left it and might come back, or that the cart guys would take it back into the store. Instead she excitedly said, “Well, go get it!” After he quickly did so, she put it in the back of her truck!!

Now, I’m no saint, but to my way of thinking, that is just stealing, plain and simple. She knew it wasn’t hers and her children knew it wasn’t hers. Personally I would have left it there. If it had been something more valuable, I would have pushed it into the store and given it to the greeter.  

This is just an example of what we are teaching our children and why they are so confused. Mom has condoned stealing water from a cart in the WalMart parking lot. Is it okay to steal something from the playground at school? How about something that falls out of someone’s locker? (I’ve had a student do that.)  How about a library book left on a desk? What are the rules? Where are the boundaries? How does a child decide what is right or wrong? Will mom be surprised when her child is caught shoplifting at the local convenience store? I’ve already had at least two former students attend juvenile facilities before attending high school.

We all have to stop and remember that children learn far more from our actions than they do from our words.

Watching the Clock

I don’t wear a watch. Every watch I’ve ever worn has either bothered me to the point that I was constantly turning it or moving it, and most have eventually caused a rash on my arm. So six years ago I stopped wearing one. It was a little odd at first, but I have a pretty good sense of time and I’m seldom late for anything.  I have an alarm clock beside my bed and a clock on my microwave and here on the computer. There is a clock in my truck, in my classroom, and in the school office. Both of my colleagues wear watches, but when we are out at recess I usually sense that it is time to go inside about one minute before they confirm it by looking at their watches.

So now I am “watching the clock”. This is the change in behavior that definitely determines the end of summer for me. I don’t care much about time in the summer. I tend to think about it in big chunks- days, mornings, afternoons.  Now that school has started my life is spent watching for minutes when I can squeeze in tasks.  Do I have time to write a lesson plan before my children return from art class? Will I be able to stop by the library before I go home? Can I get to the post office before they close? Should I check my email before I start dinner? Will I have time this morning to post both my Caddo blog and this one?

Sometimes, like last night, I get very frustrated by things that get in my way. I wanted to do three simple things on the computer before going to bed. The internet (satellite) was behaving badly (we had a cloud and we have bandwidth issues) and wouldn’t let me do a thing!! I tried four times, restarted my computer, took a shower, and returned to complete one task before going to bed thirty minutes past my usual bedtime. A little frustration in an otherwise great day! J

So…I leave you with a simple thought this morning as I hurry off to eat breakfast and get ready for school. Use your time wisely today!

A Fresh Start

 
  

This is a photo of my grandparents. My cousin sent it to me recently. It was taken shortly after they moved to California. I love Grandmother’s smile!

Like most of your ancestors, mine started out in this country on the east coast and slowly migrated toward the west. There really wasn’t anywhere else to go! Oh, they might have drifted northwest, or southwest, but for the most part settlers got tired of the “crowded conditions” or the weather or the city or their families or something and moved on down the road a bit until there were people from coast to coast. Of course the biggest migration to California from Oklahoma and other states in the region was during the dust bowl and depression years.

People flocked to California because it was supposed to be the land of milk and honey, an Eden of lush vegetation and soaring mountains and pristine beaches. There were jobs to be had and land to be worked and Okies knew all about working the land. Ironic that when they were in other parts of the country they rushed to Oklahoma because newspapers and real estate flyers and letters from friends said that Oklahoma was the “land of milk and honey”.  But the dark years made people forget.

My grandparents didn’t leave during the great depression. My grandmother often spoke of the lengths they went to in order to eat and keep clothes on everyone. They scrimped and made to and did without. They did odd jobs. Grandmother cooked and cleaned for people with more money. Granddad did carpentry work. Somehow they survived.

But in the forties something changed. Grandmother never said exactly what. By then they had relatives in California. Perhaps it was his brother’s success out there, or my grandfather’s lack of it here, but something prompted them to pack up everything and move to California. Grandmother always just said, “there was work in California”, but the way she said it always made me think there was more to the story. Granddad went in 1947 and drifted back and forth. Grandmother joined him in 1949 after my father graduated from high school.

They lived in a tent when they first arrived. I can’t imagine the living conditions in a big camp with lots of other people, but I know my grandmother. She adjusted, worked hard, made friends, cooked for anyone who was hungry, and kept a positive attitude. I know that because she approached everything in life the same way! It must have worked because in a few years they were living and working on a big ranch. In a few more years they bought a house. Everyone worked and thrived and although their life wasn’t perfect, I think grandmother was happy. They never talked about returning to Oklahoma, but she visited often. She never forgot her "roots".

It is always my hope and prayer that I will be like both of my grandmothers.

Blessed Relief

We had a brief rain shower last night that cooled our temperatures for a bit and gave everything a little bath. However, the power was off for two hours, so our only actual relief from the heat was outside. We spent some time on our front porch, eating frozen yogurt and watching the lightening. It was a little reminder of how our ancestors must have lived. I recall Mom talking about sleeping outside on hot summer nights. I can’t imagine!

I also got a little relief from my “dieting plateau”. I lost four pounds this week! Of course my lunch plans didn’t pan out at all the first week. I didn’t even eat lunch the first two days- no time! I ate a snack at 3:30. The biggest factor in my weight loss was the added exercise. More proof that moving is the answer to most of our problems. Maybe I can continue to eat a little less and more a little more. J

My lunch experience last week is an example of how real life often interferes with our best intentions. I don’t see the week as a failure, just a detour in the path. I will try harder this week. If things don’t work out I’ll reconsider my plan.

I don’t have any new words of wisdom on the dieting front. I did see an interesting news report about spices. It said that as Americans remove salt from their diet they are adding more and more spices, especially “hot” ones. The average cook now has about 40 spices in the cabinet. Anyone remember the Watkins man? 

This is the first day of middle school for my youngest granddaughter, and the oldest one goes off to college soon. I know they are both anxious and excited. And my grandson will have to adjust to being an “only child”. Big changes this year!

Hope you have some relief today from anything that has been bothering you and interfering with your happiness!

No Shame

My mother taught me to hang our underwear on the middle line of our clothesline so that the clothes on the two outer lines would shield our “unmentionables” from the prying eyes of the neighbors. These days I would almost bet you could walk into any WalMart and find someone willing to take off their clothes and show you their underwear if you promised to post a video of them on YouTube. For the right price you might even find someone willing to walk around naked.

When I was growing up bra commercials showed a bra on a mannequin, over a sweater or other garment.  Today you can see more flesh on a bra commercial than our fathers could have seen in a strip club. There is even more nudity in television shows.

I grew up with something my parents called “polite conversation”. There were subjects you didn’t talk about at the dinner table, in public, with the neighbors, etc. Now you can walk through any public place or sit down in nearly any restaurant and hear cell phone conversations about sex, drugs, in-laws, jobs, co-workers, health conditions- complete with descriptions, expletives, and anything else you really didn’t want to hear. Neighbors do not keep secrets! They brag to you about their latest exploits involving drugs, alcohol, and escapes from the law- far more information than you ever wanted to know. Television shows and commercials talk about topics and products I didn’t even know about until I was twenty! Now any child can listen to them any time.

I once overheard my father cursing at a non-responsive engine he was trying to fix so we wouldn’t remain stranded on the side of the road. My mother made her “displeased” face, but said nothing. In a moment my father came to the car window and apologized. I’ve had kindergarten students use the foulest language you can imagine, and use it “correctly”. What is sad is that they use it so casually…you know they have heard it repeatedly and no one has apologized for using it. And of course they can hear it in movies and on television.

My grandmother once spoke with my mother in hushed whispers about someone they knew who had left his wife for another woman. It was a terrible, shameful act that left the family devastated. Now men, and women, seem to abandon spouses without shame or regret. After all, cheating is so American! Most of our movie stars, politicians, sport figures, and musicians do it, AND talk about it openly on television. Why wouldn’t everyone else?

Our society has no shame. In fact, we not only misbehave, but want the world to see and hear our actions. We post photos and videos on our phones and computers for the entire world to see. We talk about our worst actions as though they have no affect on our future. We want our fifteen minutes of fame, even if it is for something bad.

Our society has moved beyond shame and guilt and repentance to world of open-mindedness, acceptance, and forgiveness that has made almost anything that anyone says or does acceptable. Worse than that, we are taking steps toward pride and arrogance. Remember what Proverbs 16:18 says about that: “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

P. S. I’ve written about some of this before, but recent events made me feel that a little further comment might be necessary. And I offered some pictures from this morning to soften the lecture. J

Have a great day!

  

 

 

Hot Birds

 

I suppose there is a positive side to almost anything. It has been 100+ degrees all week and I am so very tired of being hot, hot, hot. However, I did manage to capture some bird photos because the birds are hot too, and they are flocking to the birdbath outside the kitchen door. Now keep in mind that these are not great, clear shots because I was shooting through a sliding glass door AND cooking chicken at the same time. :) I don't multi-task that well. And the hummer shots are at an angle at the very edge of the glass, but I don't care- I think they are cute.

 

 

 

 

Men, and women, behaving badly...

Why are we making some kind of folk hero out of the flight attendant who went berserk? Everyone has times when they feel fed up with their job. I’ve gotten angry a time or two, usually with a parent or other adult. And maybe if I started screaming obscenities and jumped out a window it would bring attention to the plight of the stressed-out teacher. But during the few times that I’ve really lost my composure and yelled or cried or said something hateful, I’ve felt ashamed. I’ve apologized. I’ve tried to make amends, figure out the problem, and do better the next time. I’ve certainly never felt like I deserved national recognition for behaving badly. I predict this guy will end up with a book and movie deal! Only in America!!! I only hope the “copycats” over the next few months don’t do anything crazier. Have we so quickly forgotten that the last stressed-out employee who made the evening news killed his coworkers?

I can never figure out why we as a society not only condone bad behavior, but are often fascinated by it to the point of admiration. Someone doing a good deed might get thirty seconds of recognition on the evening news and someone who has a fit over their football contract or appears nude or gets arrested or cheats on their wife gets at least three weeks of coverage and makes the rounds of all the talk shows!

My mother taught me to treat other people the way I want to be treated, even if they don’t deserve it. She taught me to always do my best at any job that was assigned to me, even if I didn’t enjoy it. She told me to try to act calm, even if I wasn’t.  Maybe the people who behave badly started out on that path by not listening to their mothers.

Little Stuff

I realized yesterday that it is all the little stuff, the details of life, that take up our time and add to our stress as women. There are at least twenty little daily chores that I have been doing all summer that now need to be adapted to my school schedule. And unless I want to shop after school, my early morning mid-week grocery shopping will now return to the madness of Saturday shopping. I’ve really been giving that last one some serious thought. I hate, hate, hate devoting so much of each Saturday to shopping. I may just have to split my shopping into two trips- perhaps Tuesday and Thursday evenings.

It is also the little things- paperwork, organizing supplies- that can be stressful during the first weeks of school. I try to stay focused on the big picture- getting acquainted and establishing routines and procedures. If I do that, everything else seems to fall into place. We had great attendance last night for our “meet the teacher” and I’m very pleased with my little class. If you want to see how my room looked last night you can check out my kindergarten blog.

Have a great day!

Predators, Problems, and Passwords

Yesterday as part of our teacher in-service and staff development, we were given a “stern lecture”, as my mother would say, from one of the tech guys about the dangers of the internet. Some of us deserved it! And I hope everyone heeds his advice.

One of the dangers he pointed out is that many people out there in the world are professional predators. We tend to think of hackers as geeky college guys trying to prove their worth, or individuals targeting a particular company. But the reality is that many hackers are targeting us, regular little citizens with tiny bank accounts. They know if they can get small amounts of money from ordinary individuals it will probably go undetected. I won’t go into all of the ways they do this, but one example is to obtain bank information from phony emails and then take only $8-10 from hundreds of thousands of accounts. Would you notice if $10 had been withdrawn from your account? Maybe, maybe not. And the phony emails often look like very legitimate “account updates” from real banks. Never, never give out your account information in response to any email!

The best advice for any email is “if in doubt, delete”. Opening a phony email may not only get you into trouble, but may allow a worm, virus, or Trojan into your system. One of the “tricks of the trade” I was totally unaware of is the use of misspellings! Apparently, misspelling words allows many hackers to send spam emails that evade some security software! The software is set up to search for certain terms and misspelling those terms confuses the software. Often the misspellings are so subtle that our brains compensate for them and we don’t even notice them when we read the email!

Another problem on the internet is the lame passwords used by most people. Despite repeated warnings since the invention of the computer, people continue to use personal words for their passwords. Names of pets, children, parents, streets, or anything else tied to your personal life should not be used! Our tech guy says they will require all new passwords for our system to have a capital letter, number, symbol (*&%$) and at least eight characters. All of this is to prevent the bad guys from guessing your password based on personal information. Think for a minute how many clues they can obtain just from Facebook! (And don’t keep a copy of your password next to your computer, especially at work.)

So…a few words of wisdom from cyberspace this morning. Be aware and beware!