The good news is that I didn't have another retinal tear. The bad news is that I had a ruptured blood vessel- nothing to fix, nothing to be done. I just have to wait for the blood to settle. So I'm still left with very little vision in my right eye, and I have to be patient while it heals itself. The retinal specialist said this morning "These things just happen. You didn't do anything to cause this and there isn't anything you can do to prevent it from happening again."
My family will tell you that I'm not the type of person to be totally satisfied with that answer. I like cause and effect. I like rules and consequences. I like control. I would rather feel guilty about something I did wrong and have a second chance to change my behavior, than to hear that this is beyond my power to control either way. I wanted to walk out of the doctor's office with a definite game plan for prevention, you know- ten things I could change in my diet or lifestyle to make sure this doesn't happen again. No such luck. So perhaps my lesson from the Lord today is some things can't be fixed...except by God.