Before my children jump into this, let me just say that I wasn't a particularly good parent. I realize that now. I was a child when I had my first child. I did the best I could. I tried. I read lots of books. I asked for advice. I managed. And I was rewarded with some pretty good kids who became great adults. Yes, they are a little flawed- aren't we all? But I'm proud of them and proud to be their mom. That being said, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PARENTS TODAY????????? Please, get a backbone and JUST SAY NO!!!!
Can you tell I've been watching Dr. Phil? LOL I watched "Risky Teen Behavior" yesterday. I was surprised by a couple of things, but I was disgusted by the parents' reactions. "Yes, I know it's dangerous. I smoke the stuff with him. I buy it for him because it's legal." "Well, I take him to the theme park even though I know what he's doing there." "I found out she's posting nude photos of herself, so should I take away her cell phone?" Oh, My Gosh!! YES! My mother is stomping in heaven right now, ready to ground someone for sure! She would have spanked my behind, taken the cell phone, made me pray on my knees for forgiveness, and hung her head in shame for a month!
This is just the tip of the ice berg. I've watched enough Dr. Phil in the past to know that teens are doing some really stupid, dangerous things. I did some stupid things when I was a teen. My teens did some stupid things. The difference is that my parents didn't know about the stupid stuff I did, and certainly wouldn't have helped me do it!! I didn't know about the things my teens did until after they confessed as adults. (I'm sure there are other things they will never tell me.) But the point is, if I had known I would have tried to stop them. That's what parents are supposed to do! And while I have been disappointed in Dr. Phil for at least a year, I do have to agree with him that parents today are generally just afraid to say "no" to their children. I see that in kindergarten every day.
Somewhere along the line we have gotten the idea that we need to be our child's friend, buddy, confidante. We have to make life pleasant for them. We have to hug and kiss and coddle them 24/7. We have to supply all their needs and wishes and wants. We have to make sure they have the best of everything, including all the latest technology. We have to make sure the food they eat is "kid friendly" and every moment of their day is entertaining. We have to make sure they like us and everyone thinks we are wonderful parents!
Hogwash! I hated my parents at least once a week. They made me do chores and eat vegetables and sit through boring church services and do my homework and go to bed at the same time every night. My dad dictated what I watched on television until I was eighteen. My mother told me what I could and could not wear until I was married. Even then I was careful not to offend her sense of modesty. Sure there were some things I wish they had done differently. I could have skipped eating liver and I certainly could have skipped some of the chores. but I also know they saved me from a lot of danger, and I never once doubted that they loved me. They gave me a sense of responsibility and made sure I could survive in the world. They made sure I appreciated what I got. They made sure I felt a sense of shame when I did something wrong, so I wouldn't do it again!
I know I'm old and set in my ways. But when I watch Dr. Phil, or talk to some of my parents, or read stupid things on the internet, I just want to say NO!
Well said! Perhaps the silver lining in this bad economy is that parents are going to be foreced to say "no."
Posted by: Susan | November 13, 2008 at 08:44 AM