The View from Here

Countdown

I love my little hometown! It's two weeks and counting until our Heritage Day celebration and people are starting to prepare for visitors. A group of us will begin in the morning to get all of the flower beds cleaned and plant a few new plants. Mowing crews will start working on lots and byways. When I drove through town I spotted a house being repainted. Another was getting a complete landscape makeover. Trees are being trimmed, trash removed. We'll even sweep the sidewalks. Caddo loves to have company!

I've belonged to civic groups for a number of years and it's easy sometimes to get discouraged becasue people don't attend meetings or support each and every project. In a small town, jobs tend to be done by the same few people. I've always heard that in any organization 10% of the group does the actual work and the others enjoy the harvest. In most of our local groups I think the percentage of workers is higher and we have a strong base of what I refer to as "call upon" volunteers. If we call upon them to do a specific task they do it. Still, a few citizens are overworked and underpaid. By the time our little town gets through Heritage Day and the Alumni Banquet the sales of chocolate and Calgon will rise considerably! The funny thing is, you won't hear many complaints. People around here really do love to have company and they are willing to work hard to be good hosts.

I often wish there was more I could do for Caddo. I drive around and see so much that we need- new playground equipment for the park, improvements for the senior center, new businesses, better streets, more housing. It might be easy to get discouraged and just give up. Then I see other people doing a little here and a little there. If we all just do our part, then together we can accomplish so much more. When we clean up and roll out the red carpet for visitors I remember why I love this little town. It's because of the people!

Mother's Song

On the way home from my mother's funeral I heard Sarah McLachlan's song "Arms of the Angels". I'm not sure of the song's original meaning or purpose, nor the songwriter's intent. I don't follow music enough to know if it was actually someone's drug-induced hallucination or a tribute to their best friend. I don't care. In my mind and heart it will always be my mother's song.

I heard the song often the year Mom died, and it always brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes I had to turn off the radio or risk not being able to drive. But over the course of time I got to the point of being able to sing it. I even bought Sarah's CD. After nine years, I would have told you yesterday morning that the song has lost it's power, that it no longer brings back the ache and longing. But last night a young woman on America's Got Talent proved me wrong.

I wasn't even really watching the show. The young singer isn't one of my favorites (sorry honey) so I had gone to the kitchen to wash a few dishes. Then the first words of the song, mother's song, drifted into the kitchen and I suddenly found myself standing in front of the TV with a dish towel in my hand and tears running down my cheeks.

Ironic that on my favorite show, House, they've been discussing the issue of death and the pain of losing someone you love. The raw pain, the debilitating emotions, ease over time. They are pushed to the back of our brains and life goes on. But the ache, the longing for the presence of that person, is always there and the slightest trigger can bring out a deeper pain, a fresh memory. 

Fall was my mother's favorite time of year. September 30 was her birthday. Heritage Day was one of her favorite events. Thanksgiving was the first holiday we had without her. These are the days and weeks that are the most difficult for me each year. These are the days with memories of my mother just beneath the surface, ready to produce a warm happy thought or a stabbing pain to the heart.

My biggest regret regarding my mom isn't that I wasn't by her side when she died. No, I thank God for that. I don't think I could keep that image at bay. If I had witnessed it I think my grief would have been even more prolonged. No, what I regret is that we didn't talk much during that last year. Oh, we spoke. But because she was sick and didn't drive, and because I was going to college and very busy, we didn't have a lot of "alone" time. Dad was always around. Mom was tired. I was stressed. Friends and family were in and out. We didn't have a lot of mother-daughter time. There are things I wish I had asked her, things I wish I knew. Now it's too late, because she's in the arms of the angels.

Better

Well, after two days battling the stomach flu that is going around, Gary is up and feeling better. Back to work for him today.

Our wonderful landlord came out very promptly and managed to cut the tree away from the power line. He also took down a couple of other dead trees. That makes me feel much better about the coming winter weather.

My headache turned out to be early signs of fall allergies. I didn't have any last year, but this year the weather and plant cycles are a little different. Looks like there are some sneezing days ahead!

We had our monthly Town Restoration Meeting last night. Time for us to clean up downtown and fill in some gaps in the flower beds. We want everything to look pretty for Heritage Day. We also chose Yard of the Year, but it's a surprise...you'll have to wait.

I'm getting a new student today. I'm prepared for the dynamics of my class to change slightly, good or bad. That's what happens when someone new joins any group. Everything and everyone changes just a bit. Keeps life interesting.

I hope the changes that come your way today are for the better.

Just Waiting

Gary was seriously sick all night, so I'm waiting to see if I need to take him to the emergency room.

The wind blew a tree across our power line so I'm waiting for the power company crew...and waiting to see how long the tree stays balanced without cutting off our power.

I had a sleepless night so I'm waiting to see how long it will be before Tylenol cures this headache.

It is barely mid-moring so I'm waiting to see what else the day brings.

I'll keep you posted.

CA and other random thoughts...

My middle child- she loves that term- is off to CA for her class reunion. She's very excited about seeing her old friends and, of course, checking up on a few people who weren't friends.

One of my friends is also headed to CA. She and some friends are going to see friends and to see the ocean again. She has promised to bring me back a little Pacific water. I've been missing the ocean lately.

I guess travel is another thing I've missed lately. Gary and I used to spend some time traveling in the summer, but we didn't go anywhere this summer. It seems with his new job, rising prices, and our new budget we won't be leaving the county, much less the state. Guess I'll have to be patient- my state list will increase some day. I've been to 32 and I still have a few more years to reach my goal of 50.

Found a new garden blog this week. I probably shouldn't tell you because you'll all go visit and never come back. But it's too good not to share, so take a peek at Red Dirt Ramblings.

I am loving America's Got Talent! Can't wait until next week. My two favorite shows Survivor (I know- trash TV- but I can't help myself) and House begin the new season soon. Yeah! Also a couple of new shows I have my eye on...better be good.

Gary is off this weekend and it's supposed to rain. There goes the list! LOL Oh, well. The weeding and mowing and repairing will wait until another day. Maybe we can just enjoy each other's company. Hope you have a great weekend. Stay safe!

More Beauty and a little health...

Be honest- after you read my post about beauty you figured out which of your windows faced south and east and who would see you if you sat in front of them naked. I quickly decided I didn't have time to sit around, and I'm not much of a dancer!

In a time when nudity is all around us it seems amusing to think of women needing advice about "taking in the sunlight". However, if you consider their fashion and lifestyle, a woman of that era could go through her whole adult life without ever revealing more of her body to the sun than an ankle or wrist. My great-grandmother worked in the garden- but in a dress, an apron, a long-sleeved shirt, gloves, and a bonnet. She also wore pantaloons and a slip. She could bend over and pull weeds and still not reveal anything. She probably posed for the first "granny silhouette" for someone's garden!

The writer of the Welcome Cookbook was really quite wise about the need for a little fresh air and sunlight, and had a lot of insight about health. In a section about headaches he says, "The trouble is that all American women who have headaches live indoors, where the best air is never good, and the worst is poison, and they have none of the exercises which saves man from the popular feminine malady." He goes on to give high praise to "summer resorts" where women sometimes attend. "Girls who ride, row, sail, and shoot seldom have headaches; neither do those unfortunate enough to be compelled to hoe potatoes or play Maud Muller in hay-fields."

My mother worked in the fields, wore slacks and hated hats, but she loved beauty advice and she was always trying to find cheap, natural alternatives to the cosmetics she couldn't afford. She rinsed her hair with vinegar and put whipped egg whites on her face. She scrubbed her skin with oatmeal and rubbed her feet and hands with baby oil. I remember the mayo years- when Mom tried it on her face and her hair. Hey, it had oil and eggs, it had to be good for you!

My mother-in-law loved to bathe in milk. It was a common beauty aide for many women. The cookbook author says, "When I dress for dinner I always wash my face with milk, adding just enough hot water to make it pleasant to use." Women will try almost anything to be beautiful and younger looking.

I'll leave you with some fine advice about a product I'm sure we all have in our medicine cabinet- ammonia: "One of the most useful articles of the toilet is a bottle of ammonia, and any lady who has once learned its value will never be without it. A few drops in the water takes the place of the usual amount of soap, and cleans out the pores of the skin as well as a bleach will do. Wash the face with a flesh-brush and rub the lips well to tone their color. It is well to bathe the eyes before putting in the spirits, and if it is desirable to increase their brightness, this may be done by dashing soapsuds into them. Always rub the eyes, in washing, toward the nose." I think I'll pass on this last bit of advice. The phrase "don't try this at home" comes to mind. LOL

If you have some beauty advice from your mother or grandmother, I'd love to hear it.

Beauty

I found this gem in the Welcome Baking Powder cookbook, 1890. Believe me, they don’t make cookbooks like this one anymore. If men had only known what was in the back of the book, they might have questioned why their womenfolk were always reading! (Italics are mine.)

How to Be Handsome

Where is the woman who would not be beautiful? If such there be- but no, she does not exist. From that memorable day when the Queen of Sheba made a formal call on the late lamented King Solomon until the recent advent of the Jersey Lily, the power of beauty has controlled the fate of dynasties and the lives of men. How to be beautiful, and consequently powerful, is a question of far greater importance to the feminine mind than predestination or any other abstract subject. If women are to govern, control, manage, influence, and retain the adoration of husbands, fathers, brother, lovers, or even cousins, they must look their prettiest at all times.

All women cannot have good features, but they can look well, and it is possible to a great extent to correct deformity and develop much of the figure. The first step to good looks is good health, and the first element of health is cleanliness. Keep clean- wash freely, bathe regularly. All the skin wants is leave to act, and it takes care of itself. In the matter of baths we do not strongly advocate a plunge in ice-cold water; it takes a woman with some of the clear grit that Robert Collyer loves to dilate on and a strong constitution to endure it. If a hot bath be used, let it come before retiring, as there is less danger of taking cold afterwards; and , besides, the body is weakened by the ablution and needs immediate rest. It is well to use a flesh-brush, and afterwards rinse off the soap-suds by briskly rubbing the body with a pair of coarse toilet gloves. The most important part of a bath is drying. Every part of the body should be rubbed to a glowing redness, using a coarse crash towel at the finish. If sufficient friction cannot be given, a small amount of bay rum applied with the palm of the hand will be found efficacious. Ladies who have ample leisure and who lead methodical lives take a plunge or sponge bath three times a week, and vapor or sun bath every day. To facilitate this very beneficial practice a south or east apartment is desirable. The lady denudes herself, takes a seat near the window, and takes in the warm rays of the sun. The effect is both beneficial and delightful. If, however, she be of a restless disposition, she may dance, instead of basking in the sunlight. Or, if she be not fond of dancing, she may improve the shining hours by taking down her hair and brushing it, using sulphur water, pulverized borax dissolved in alcohol, or some similar dressing. It would be surprising to many ladies to see her carefully wiping the separate locks on a clean, white towel until the dust of the previous day is entirely removed. With such care it is not necessary to wash the head, and the hair under this treatment is invariably good.

Glorious

I smelled it before I saw it. A hint of it's tropical fragrance floated in the air as I reached down to move the water hose. Then I walked around the corner of the patio and there it was- the first moonflower bloom. I've waited all summer for its glorious radiance. I didn't rush to get my camera because the breeze was gently rocking it back and forth. I just took a moment to linger and admire. By this morning there were two blooms to enjoy. By the looks of the numerous buds, there will be many more in the weeks ahead. If you want to read more about this wonderful vine, here is a link to an article I wrote for Flower & Garden in 1997. I was a little surprised to find it still on line. There are also several sites with great photos, including Onalee Seeds.

I've weeded and watered and waited all summer for moments like that one. One of the many things that gardening teaches is patience.

I'm trying to be patient with other aspects of my life. However, I can't even say the word without thinking of Gary's grandmother's favorite saying, "Patience is a virtue, and man hath neither." I was never sure if that was meant as a generic criticism of society or if it was aimed at men in particular. I was always afraid to ask! You can ponder that while I go out to enjoy one more whiff of the moonflower bloom before the sun comes up. 

Sounds

I live in a very quiet neighborhood. The closest house is over on the other side of the pond on the next hill. I like to listen to the birds sing in the morning, and when the wind blows I can hear the water lap against the edge of the pond. But this morning I heard some different sounds, and I heard them because I turned off the oscillating fan that we keep in the office. This morning I heard the coyotes calling to each other. I heard the train that runs through Caddo, nearly three miles away. And I heard a pickup traveling along the gravel road on the other side of the pasture.

Turning off the fan and hearing the coyotes made me think about how noisy our world is and how little we really pay attention to it. We have to train ourselves from an early age to filter out some of the sounds around us, or we would go crazy. Most households have a dozen appliances or machines running at any one time. Televisions blast ten to twelve hours a day. Air conditioners hum. Loud street and neighbor noises intrude. Phones ring. And most people have things plugged into their ears to make more sound. It's a wonder any of us can hear our own thoughts.

I suppose I've always been sensitive to sounds. When we lived in the city I was annoyed by half the sounds around us. We had a neighbor who liked loud music and played it until 3am. We lived near a bus stop and had to listen to the screech of the bus brakes. Traffic sounds were always in the background, 24/7. Perhaps one of the reasons I am so suited to country living is my penchant for quiet.

Right now some of you are thinking "wait a minute, the woman teaches kindergarten?". Yes, children are noisy, but it's a natural sound and one that I find very pleasing. I love to hear them talk and laugh. And we have quiet periods during the day when they don't talk...much. And even if we have a noisy day that drives me crazy, I have my quiet time at home ahead of me. A few minutes listening to the pond and I'm calm again.

My husband misses a lot of the sounds around him. He has always had a slight hearing impairment, a congenital problem. As he has gotten older he has lost more of his hearing. When I ride in the car with him I have to turn the volume down on his CD player before we even leave the parking space. When he watches television you can hear it on the back porch. But we've learned to tolerate our differences. The window air conditioner in our bedroom rattles a bit if the filter vibrates too far to one side. Gary can't hear it, but he knows it annoys me. Each night he has to tap the filter and make it stop so I can sleep.

Sounds are a major component of our lives. Some of them are soothing and reassuring. Some are contributing to our stress and agitation and we don't even realize it. I would venture to say that some people have no concept of "quiet" because there isn't a time in their day when they actually experience it. I've even known people who fear quiet, as though something bad would happen if they sat in stillness for a moment. If the world isn't creating noise around them, they are creating it themselves. I think about that when I see people with phones and other devices permanently attached to their ear. The Bible says, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). Perhaps God knows that most of us do our best thinking when we are quiet. (Yes the verse can also be interpreted to mean be physically still and let God work.)

I challenge you today to turn something off and enjoy a few moments of a quieter life.

As I finish this the birds are singing, announcing the morning. Time to make some noise of my own...the sound of bacon frying!   

An Easy Life

As I tossed some blankets (yes, blankets) into the washer this morning I thought about what an easy life I have compared to the lives of my mother and grandmothers. I may be busy and my life often seems complicated and stressful, but physically- the life of a princess compared to my mother's. I don't have to haul water from the well or burn trash in a barrel or run every item of clothing through the wringer and hang it on the line. I don't have to grow most of my food or can it myself. I don't even have to actually cook if I don't want to- just zap something in the microwave. Easy stuff.

I remember the first person I knew who owned a microwave oven. It was our pastor's wife. When she told me about it she was very excited about heating up leftovers. I thought to myself, "How silly! Who ever has leftovers?" With three children, we sure didn't! And if that was what the machine was for, I was sure I'd never have one. LOL How could I predict that today I would give up my stove before I would give up my microwave!

Ever drink coffee made in a metal pot on the stove? Awful stuff. My mother drank instant coffee for a while because she couldn't afford a percolator. When she finally did buy one I was fascinated by the little glass knob on the top. I loved to sit and watch the coffee bubble through it. My grandmother was ahead of her time- she bought the first "Mr. Coffee" pot I ever saw. It was amazing! But I was also a little afraid of it. I just knew that glass pot was going to explode. Gran kept that coffee going from daylight to dark. She loved her coffee! Of course I have three coffee makers, just in case I ever get up at 5am and one of them fails.

I was probably in my pre-teens before we had the luxury of a regular washing machine. I hated our wringer washer because I mashed my fingers in it and I was terrified that I would someday catch my long hair in it. It was also a slow and tedious process to make sure each item went in without snagging at the edges or tearing off a button. Getting a modern washing machine was one of the greatest time savers of my mother's life. And a dryer! Wow! When we got a dryer it was heaven. No more cold wet hands. No more fighting with the wind. And much less ironing.

One of the last things my mother gave up was canning her own food. She loved to see those pretty jars of fruits and vegetables and jellies and know that she had plenty of food stored for the winter. In later years she started freezing a lot of the garden harvest- faster and easier. But like most of us, she finally succumbed to "store-bought", even though my dad complained a little. She was working in an office and too busy to slave over a hot stove for hours.

So you won't hear me complain much about how hard I work at home. Most days I realize that I don't. Not even close!