The View from Here

10 Mistakes Parents Make

There is a great article on the MSN home page today. It's written by Craig Playstead (did he make that up?). The article is about the mistakes parents make and I want to specifically comment about one of them.

Here is what Mr. Playstead says is #3- Failing to get involved at school
"School is where your kids will spend more time than any place besides your home. It's also the place that will have the most responsibility for shaping their life—from teachers and their peers. That being said, how can you not want to be involved in what's going on there? It doesn't matter if it's you or your spouse: Your family needs to have a presence at that school. And don't use work as an excuse—take a vacation day if you need to. You'll see immediately that it's time well spent. You should also have at least an e-mail relationship with their teacher. It's a great way for that teacher to see that you're interested in your child's development, and the teacher can alert you to anything concerning that may be going on with your son or daughter. Your kid's teacher may take a much more active role with your child if they know you're keeping close tabs."

From a teacher's perspective I just want to add a big "Amen!". This is my tenth year as an public school teacher. (I also taught many years in private daycare.) I've taught in five different school  systems and they all have the same problem- lack of parental involvement. Yes, I know about work schedules and family responsibilities. However, I once met the parents of my four-year-old student at a ballgame, in November, because I introduced myself! And I never saw them again!

Granted, that situation was the extreme. It is far more common for me to see parents two or three times a year, with a few notes and emails in between. However, the more you visit school, participate in field trips and activities, and communicate with your child's teacher, the more satisfied you will be with your child's education. And your child will be more successful- I can almost guarantee it! Parents who stay in touch with their child's teacher not only understand expectations, but are quick to help with minor problems before they become major ones.

Older children may not express delight if their parents hang around school "too much", but younger ones love for their parents to visit. A surprise lunch visit or participation in a class activity makes them swell with pride. Parents are often hesitant at first, but I always encourage them to visit and see for themselves what I teach and how I teach it. If your child's teacher doesn't want you in the classroom once in a while, I would question why.

If you haven't been very involved in your child's education, you have a chance to change that. When the new school year begins, ask your child's teacher about the most effective way of communicating: notes, phone calls, emails. Every teacher has a preference. Notes and emails fit my schedule best. Each of my students has a "daily communication" folder that they carry in their backpack. Ask the teacher about field trips, projects and class activities. Ask about lunch visits. And most important of all, get a schedule of the parent-teacher conferences and mark them on your calendar.

Be involved. Be an advocate for your child. Be a partner with your child's teacher.

And read the rest of the article.      

Church

Be warned- I'm going to preach a little.

I am sorry to say that I haven't been to church in a while. I know watching televised church doesn't count. My feelings toward God and the Bible and religion in general haven't changed. However, my feelings about church have changed and I'm still trying to work out what to do about it. I try to find comfort in prayer and something I once read- "You are everywhere Lord, but I worship you here." I take that to mean that God listens to me in my bedroom, in my yard...in my soul.

You may recall that a couple of years ago there was a terrible, heartbreaking division in our church which lead to the resignation of our preacher and a split in the congregation. One group stayed in the old building and the other met in a new location. There were a few of us who tried to find refuge in other congregations. My husband and I visited several other churches in the area- it just never seemed like we were in the right place. We are in an area where churches are tightly-knit community groups and going to church in another community seemed very odd. And traveling 15 to 20 miles to church is inconvenient after years of traveling four miles. Add that to the fact that my husband works retail, often on Sunday, and that leaves me going to church alone. Excuses, I know. But I'm honest enough to admit them to you.

This has been on my mind because I now hear that one of the church groups is having trouble again and several people have asked my opinion about it. One older man told me he can no longer attend church because his "nerves can't take it". I understand completely. I was so upset by the first break-up that I couldn't sleep and I thought I was developing an ulcer. When we went to other churches I kept waiting for someone to suddenly stand up and start yelling. I doubt that I will ever feel completely at peace in church again. My feelings have nothing to do with forgiveness or understanding, only a gut-reaciton caused by a traumatic event.  

I found a little verse in the Bible that spoke to me this week. It's Proverbs 18:19- "A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle." I used to wonder why there were people in our community who don't attend church anymore. I assumed I knew some of the answers, but the sad truth is that I never took the time to ask the question. Perhaps if I did I would find that they have been hurt or offended or frightened in the past. Hearing about more problems surely won't win them back. I wonder if those involved in the current crisis truly understand the impact they are making on the rest of the community.

I think the intention of God was for us to gather together to worship Him so that we would have the joy of fellowship and the support of each other. If that joy is gone, then we are missing the point. If that support is replaced by contentions and arguments about leadership, then we are driving people away from the church. I'm certainly not ready to go back yet. I may be wrong. I may be sinful. But at least I'm honest, and I feel like a lot of people who formerly attended church with me were not.

Quiet 4th

I guess I'm getting cynical in my old age. I didn't light any fireworks for the 4th-  didn't even stay up to see the neighbor's fireworks last night. It seems like such a waste to "burn money" in order to show that I appreciate our freedom. Instead I took this sample Citizenship Test to see if I deserve my freedom. I missed a few questions, and no, I'm not going to tell you which ones. LOL Take it for yourself.

I went to Craighead's and bought a bluebird house today! It had only been in place for ten minutes before it had a visitor. In fact she is busy investigating right now. I may have to go back and get another one! There are at least six bluebirds in the yard most of the time. I love to watch them, especially when they are splashing in the birdbath.

While I was shopping for my bluebird house I got a chance to visit with one of my cousins. I'm so glad I got to see him! I love to see family, but I'm terrible about taking time to go visit. I remember when my parents used to take us to visit someone nearly every Sunday afternoon. Everyone did it and everyone seemed to welcome, even expect, "drop in" visitors on Sundays. I loved that! Now we're all so busy I wouldn't dare just drop by to see someone, no matter what the day.   

Speaking of busy, I have a lot planned this week- yes, if the Lord is willing! Several projects to complete in the yard. Lots to do in Caddo as we prepare for the rodeo and BBQ. Some interesting stories to investigate for my Caddo blog. This is turning out to be a very enjoyable summer!

Be safe and happy!

What's in a name?

Have you seen the new WalMart logo? My son told me about it a few days ago and I finally saw it online this morning and read the Business Week article about it. It's amusing to think that there are people worrying about how the name looks and what the change in logo means. Is WalMart hoping to be viewed as a "kinder, gentler" company? Are they trying to evoke an "eco-friendly" image? Will more people shop at WalMart if it has a newer, trendier logo?

I'm sorry, but I must be a very bad consumer because I couldn't have told you what the old WalMart logo looked like! LOL Oh, I probably could have picked it out of a lineup...maybe. But I can tell you for a fact that I don't shop at WalMart because of the way their name looks on the front of the building. I shop at WalMart because I'm a sucker for "one-stop shopping" and within a 20-mile radius it's about all we have. I could go to five other stores to complete my shopping, and I occaisionally do, but I like to get my shopping done in the least amount of time possible. In, out, go do something else!

Other stores and restaurants have changed their name and image over the years. We've seen stores use different colors and typeface and spokesmen and slogans. And while consumers might flock to the new for while, I don't think we are really that stupid. We soon catch on to the real depth of the change. If you are trying to sell us the same empty promises in a new package we'll move on.

I'm as attracted to new packaging as the next person. I like pretty colors and I know from my years of experience in advertising that type fonts and shapes and sizes make an impact on our brains. Humans are consistently drawn to certain combinations of colors and images. But the bottom line is still the product inside. They can redesign KFC any way they want and I'm still not going to eat there! Haven't eaten there in 15 years and I'm not sure what would ever entice me to do so. Also not a big fan of Pizza Hut, Starbucks, Target, or Office Depot. Stores, restaurants, or individual products appeal to people for very personal reasons. I'm not sure we can even explain it, but there are enough people around to support a variety of businesses and that's what keeps it interesting.

I'll be going to WalMart later today and I'll try to look at the name before I hurry in to shop. I'm sure our little store in the middle of the country will be one of the last to receive a new sign. They know us old country people probably won't even notice.

Breakfast

There is an article about breakfast on the MSN home page today. Someone is always asking the experts if eating breakfast is really that important. Yes, yes, yes. Take the time to eat breakfast! It is good for your mind and body.

Breakfast has always been my favorite meal. When we were kids my mom usually cooked breakfast- biscuits and gravy, or eggs and toast, or pancakes and sausage, or oatmeal with honey. My dad wasn't a big fan of cold cereal. It was reserved for those days when we were in a big hurry to get out to the fields or on the road for a trip.

When we were traveling my dad liked to stop at pancake houses. I think he not only liked the food, but it was cheap. Even today breakfast is usually the cheapest meal on the menu. Some restaurants serve breakfast until 11:00, so you don't have to be an early riser to enjoy.

My dad insisted that everyone in the house eat breakfast. Even guests weren't allowed to skip and that often surprised my friends who occasionally spent the night. I was just thankful mom didn't serve anything strange when my girl friends were in the house. My dad sometimes had a craving for pig brains and eggs!

My favorite breakfast is oatmeal with peanut butter. But I'll save that for cold weather. This morning I'm going to have Cheerios. I'm going to fix my bowl and then go out to the porch. I love to eat outside and watch the world. Then we're off to the cemetery to take some more pictures of headstones. later... 

Birthday? Anniversary?

July marks three years that I've been rambling here about my life and my views of the world. I appreciate the fact that some of you reading this have read nearly every word. I'm not sure why you do it, but I certainly hope you continue. I know exactly why I continue to write. It's because of you!

I'm amazed by how many people the Lord has added to my life over the past few years. I've met people through this blog and through my other blogs and websites who have enriched my life in ways I could have never imagined. And I do mean that I have actually met people because of my blog. I've also talked on the phone with some. I've written and received letters. I've exchanged emails. I hear some folks talk about the "imaginary" or "phony" people on the internet, and they are both fearful and critical of any relationship that might form in cyberspace. However, it has been my experience that the internet is like anything else- you have to use some common sense about it.

People, especially women, have always desired more communication with each other. I remember in the 1970s pen pals were very popular. The backs of magazines listed the names and addresses of pen pals. There were even a few magazines devoted entirely to connecting people with each other. If any of us had really given it some thought, it was probably a risky thing to do- writing to a total stranger and believing whatever she wrote back. I wrote to dozens of women!! Dozens more wrote to me. In all of the years I exchanged letters with pen pals I had one bad experience. One person was not who she appeared to be and was not very nice. The blessings of the exchanges with everyone else more than made up for one bad apple.

I also continue to write because it makes me think. Sometimes I think about what is important to me. Sometimes I think about what might be important to you. The process keeps me from blindly wandering through the days of my life.

My husband often observes that I don't get many comments on my blog. He's afraid that's an indication that people aren't reading it. However, as I'm quick to point out to him, I get a lot of emails from you. Most of you prefer to tell me at length what you like or don't like about my writing. And I love getting your emails! Also, the account stats that Typepad provides lets me know how many people are reading and when. I wish I had twice as many readers, but we'll work on that during the coming year.

One of my dearest friends is having surgery today. So I will end this with another great advantage of communicating with so many people at once: I can ask you to pray for my friend and for her doctor. She is a very active member of her church and a tireless worker for the Lord. This is a difficult operation and the outcome will impact the lives of many people. Please pray that she heals quickly.

Thank you for reading. I hope to give you a reason to continue to do so during the coming year.

Pain Management

I've spent quite a few years of my life in pain. Between accidents, surgery, and a couple of years with active rheumatoid arthritis, I've become somewhat of an expert on chronic pain management. I've even written a couple of magazine articles about it. However, understanding pain and actually being in pain are two entirely different things. Being in pain for too long starts to affect your mind and spirit.

I've been in pain for about two months now and I haven't done much about it because I knew I had a doctor's appointment scheduled and I wanted to get a second opinion before I started taking anything beyond an occasional Tylenol. I have the attitude that you shouldn't get rid of pain or cover it up until you understand what is causing it. Pain is the body's way of getting attention- "Hey, stupid, you did something wrong here!!" So I like to know what I'm treating. I've also learned from the experts that pain needs to be evaluated on a scale from 1(annoying) to 10 (where's the Morphine drip?) in order to evaluate its relevance. My current pain level is about a 2 with an occasional episode of 3.

My doctor is of the opinion that I have joint inflammation and some arthritis from my many "experiences". You just can't knock a body around as much as I have this one and not have some degree of permanent damage. LOL But he also said the magic words I was waiting for: "I don't think it's anything serious." I've been going to my doctor for fifteen years; I trust him. Now I'm ready for a little pain management.

My prescription for pain has always been the same: Ibuprofen, walking, stretching (Yoga), and weight loss. It also helps me if I eat less meat. So it's up to me to get busy and get rid of this annoying pain before it affects my positive attitude. 

By the way, my doctor also says that I'm one of his healthiest patients!! Yeah! That should help with #1 on my bucket list!

Take care, and if you haven't seen your doctor in a while, go make an appointment!