Now before my daughters and a couple of my friends panic, there will be no reports of blood in today’s blog. I still have all my body parts and despite your memories of the hammer incident and the machete incident and well… Anyway, past performances notwithstanding, I can yield a tool now and then without damaging anything. There was pain and screaming today, but it had nothing to do with the hacksaw, and we’ll get to that later.
My project for today was to make and install a screen for the office window. I was supposed to do it last week, but we won’t go there. Suffice it to say that I told Gary this morning, “When you get home today there WILL be a screen on that window.” So…I located the hacksaw, assembled all the necessary parts for the screen frame, read the instructions, measured the window and…apparently got confused.
The old carpenter’s saying is “measure twice, cut once”. Well, that didn’t work. I measured twice. But I only read the instructions once. The instructions for the frame say “Cut frame, allowing 1 ½” for the width of the corners”. I measured the window, marked the 1 ½” and it just didn’t look right at all. “Way too short,” I thought, so I only marked off an inch and cut the frame piece. Then I cut the other side, put the corner on and took it to the window. Too short!! “How is that possible?” I wondered. I looked at the frame, looked at the corner, looked at the window, and then read the instructions again: “…corners.” It’s that “s” that is so very important! LOL Do the math Mary! ¾” + ¾ ” = 1 ½”. So I cut two NEW frame pieces, each the length of the window, minus ¾ “. I took the half of a frame out to the window to be certain I was finally on the right track. Like magic!
You’ll be happy to know that I’m not only looking through my new screen as I type this, but I also replaced the old screen on my other office window. I’m a college educated woman- I CAN be handy! LOL
Now we move on to the pain and the screaming portion of today’s blog. I realized yesterday that I have neglected to put a water pan out for my cats. They’ve been drinking from the birdbath, but that’s a bit inconvenient for the birds. So I was moving things around on the patio and looking for a suitable container when I noticed a plastic tub on the top shelf of the storage rack. Within the space of thirty seconds I: 1. lowered the tub and turned over the two or three terra cotta pots that I had forgotten were in it, 2. spilled a bird’s nest and three eggs that were apparently inside one of the pots, and 3. got stung by a yellow jacket who had been carefully monitoring its nest on the back of the tub! Hence the pain, followed quickly by a few short, but effective, screams.
I hate wasps, yellow jackets- any of those flying insects that persist in stinging me. I’ve been stung on the face, arms, hands, fingers, legs, and feet. I was stung on the tip of my ring finger last year and couldn’t wear my wedding ring for a week. Two years ago there was a wasp on my pillow when I went to bed- in the dark- and it got my face and my hand. Several years ago one got me in the face when I was out watering the flowers. I’ve even had the terrifying experience of stepping on and getting stung by a “cow killer”. In case you aren’t familiar with that lovely critter, it is a wingless wasp with a sting “severe enough to make you think it could kill a cow”. I know there must be a divine purpose for wasps, but I just wish they would leave me alone. And by the way, after that incident, I keep a pair of shoes on the front porch and the back porch and I never walk around the yard in bare feet.
I ramble. It’s June, almost July, which means I have to go now and find a site called “101 Ways to cook all that extra zucchini.” Have a great, safe day!

I have just heard this from a trusted friend but haven't had to try it yet. If you put a penny against a bee or wasp bit for 15 minutes the stinging will disappear and the stung part will return to normal in 24 hours. It sounds like you need a small collection of pennies. I happened on your blog browsing Tims Goes By, this is the first time I've read your blog but I was drawn in by your lively opening senence.
Posted by: june calender | June 24, 2008 at 08:30 PM