but I've learned a few things about children over the years. And you didn't ask me, but I'm going to pass along a few gems that have helped me solve problems. Sometimes that's what teaching, and parenting is- just solving problems. 'Course you solve one problem and the next one pops up, but if you learn a few tried and true methods of problem solving and a few basic truths about children, it all works out eventually. So here are some truths to get you started:
1. Parents always ask me why Johnny does such and so. The usual reason is because it works. Children are survivors. If we don't tell them how things work, they figure it out for themselves. If something works for them they do it again. If it doesn't, they try something else. Most behavior is attached to a reward of some kind, even if it isn't logical or even apparent to us.
2. If a child has a serious learning disability they can't easily control or change it. Each time a parent with a problem child tells me "I think my child has...xyz." I ask them if the child can correct the particular action that makes them think that. Most serious problems require professional help and long-term guidance. If a child can change a skill or behavior within a short time, or the "symptom" comes and goes, chances are the parents are simply looking for an easy solution in a "labeled condition". We all do it. If the enemy is already studied and described and labeled, it makes it easier for us to face it. If it is some vague something, then we have more problem solving to do.
3. Children need time. This is the most important thing I've learned about them. I need to wait for them to process information and really make it part of their own knowledge. I need to wait for them to give me an answer. I need to wait for them to make a choice. Our hurry-up world isn't good for children. It makes them frustrated and unhappy.
4. Children need adults. They crave attention and interaction. You can't let television or sports activities or video games or anything else take up too much of their time. They need you, us, them. They need other people in their lives.
Okay, time for work so we'll have to continue this later...
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