The View from Here

Cold

Winter has finally found us. The wind is whining, the clouds are hovering, and the temperature has fallen well below my comfort zone. I am not a winter person. I tolerate it, but I don’t enjoy it. And don’t bother to tell me about layering and hot cocoa and “thinking warm thoughts”.  I’m already counting the months until it’s over.

Friday was a l-o-n-g day with lots of coughing, vomiting, and fever in my classroom. Another reason to not like winter. I’m hoping my students get well over the weekend so we can finish our holiday projects.

Friday night I “popped” my knee while walking across the living room. My son says that is sufficient proof that I’m old and decrepit. Who gets hurt walking across a room?? Anyway, I spent hours in agony and got up during the night to try to walk off the pain. Finally at midnight it popped again and I was able to go to sleep. Woke up a little tired and achy, but otherwise fine.

Gary is working new hours and had to work 1pm-10pm Saturday so I spent the morning with him and then spent the afternoon doing a little Christmas shopping. Finished up most of it and even managed to work on my cards.

Saturday night I went to the annual Caddo Community Association Santa Party. The children in our community get to have their photo made with Santa, make some crafts, and enjoy refreshments. It’s always fun to watch the children’s faces!

Got a great email this morning. I love the internet! I had put out a request for some information for my Caddo blog and someone found it for me. You can pop over there to read it if you like.

I have our tree up and I took the time this year to sort ornaments again- something I haven’t done in years. Like a lot of you we have enough for two trees and each year I have to choose which ones to actually use. I finally discarded some that have been falling apart and I wasn’t really sentimental about. I’ve carefully stored some kindergarten ones that my children made. I just look at them each year, but no longer hang them. I used a lot of blue ornaments this year. And yes, I have elephant ornaments. I think I have seven now. I know a lot of people like “theme” trees or a certain color or style. I just like to decorate with ornaments that mean something to me. I love to look at the back and see a name or a date and think about the experience of receiving that one.

I talked to several friends at the Christmas party last night and it occurred to me that the recurring topic of our conversations these days is health. Perhaps that is just a normal consequence of being over fifty. Our bodies finally react to all the things we did when we were younger. Our bones and joints start resisting the idea of performing the same tasks over and over again for another forty or fifty years. Even our brains start getting a little tired of remembering where we left the car keys. So I guess it’s natural to greet each other with questions about health. I’m not sure however, that we just do it to find out if the other person is okay. I suspect that our real motive is to make sure we aren’t the only one falling apart! LOL 

On that note I will leave and get a few more things checked off my “to do” list. I hope you are doing what you can to take care of yourself. I hope you are careful during the coming winter months. I hope your behave wisely during the holidays.   

Dust and Dishes

My oldest child will be thirty nine this week. Time flies…If you have a child who is older than a week you have an inkling of what I mean. But unless you have adult children it’s difficult to understand how fleeting time seems. When I meet with young parents I wish I could convey to them just how little time they have with their children. I wish I could convince them that much of what they are doing right now is just a waste of time. 

The Bible tells us our days are numbered. We know time should be precious. And still we waste so much of it…

Waste it on arguments and petty gossip and worry.

Waste it on pursuing things that don’t matter.

Waste it spending time with people who drag us down.

Waste it doing things that just have to be done again.

I don’t really have any regrets about my life. At each stage I believe I did the best I could at the time with the knowledge and abilities I had. And I don’t particularly like Oprah, but if I remember correctly she is an advocate of “when you know better, you do better”. So here is what I wish someone had told me when I was a young parent. These are the things I wish I had known so I could have done a better job raising my children:

Dust and dishes will wait. They will be there when you are old and gray, but children won’t. If you have a choice between cleaning your house or spending time with your child, opt for the latter. Buy paper plates if you need to!!

When your children are older they won’t remember as many “things” as “experiences”. Consider this carefully before spending money on the latest clothes or gadgets. Instead, take a trip, go for a walk, fly a kite, pick flowers, eat a picnic lunch, feed the ducks, attend a concert.

Realize that your children are separate human beings. Everything they do isn’t a reflection on your parenting skill. Every difference of opinion isn’t disrespectful. Every problem isn’t your fault, nor is it your job to find a solution for every problem. Sometimes things just are. People are the way they are. And children learn some things by making mistakes and solving their own problems.

Read to your child. Turn off that television or game boy or telephone or whatever, and read, read, read. Nothing will make more of a difference in your child’s life than knowledge and a good vocabulary.

Make your child work. Children need to do chores, take care of their own things, help around the house. They need responsibilities, not maid service. They need self-confidence, not just privilege.

Finally, be true to yourself. While I’m a firm believer in spending quality time with your children and having the best relationship you can, I also know that at the end of about eighteen years, regardless of whether your children leave home or stay with you until they are forty, you are stuck with YOU. Make sure you have lived a life that has prepared you to be as independent as your child. It’s a tough transition for some people.

So there it is. My short list of considerations for the day. I guess I think about these things because I work with children. And I hope that I make a difference in their lives and in the lives of their parents. Perhaps that is why I enjoy teaching so much! Each year I get to “start over” with a new crop of children.   

Fruitcake

My grandmother, Beatrice Simmons, was a woman who cooked. It was her job for years, her passion for a lifetime. I can't remember a time when she wasn't the official "best cook in the family". When I was very small she made elaborate birthday cakes with toys and colored frosting and multiple layers. She made special cookies for Christmas. She made the best fried peach pies in the world! When she cooked at a local cafe the patrons raved about her spaghetti, her chicken and dumplings, her homemade rolls.

Each year during the holidays I think about Gran and the fruitcakes she made for us. Now, I realize fruitcake is not everyone's favorite food. There are jokes about fruitcake. But I loved Gran's. I miss it. So I've decided to share her recipe. Perhaps someone will enjoy it.

Holiday Fruitcake

2 1/2 cups sifted flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 eggs, lightly beaten

1 jar (28oz) None Such Mince Meat

1 1/3 cups (15oz) can Borden's Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk

2 cups (1lb) jar mixed candied fruit

1 cup walnut meats, coarsely chopped

Butter 9-inch tube pan or spring form. Line with waxed paper. Butter again. Sift flour and baking soda. Combine eggs, mince meat, condensed milk, fruit and nuts. Fold in dry ingredients. Pour into pan. Bake in slow (300 degree) oven for 2 hours, until center springs back and top is golden. Cool. Turn out and remove paper.

I like my fruitcake cold, preferably about three days old, with a dollop of whipped cream and a cup of coffee. :)