The View from Here

Anniversary

Our marriage started with a boat. We’d been dating for a while and we went to San Francisco to a boat show. Gary had a sailboat, but he was looking for something a little bigger. We found it and while he was filling out the paperwork the salesman asked “Is this going to be a joint purchase?”

I said “We aren’t married.”

The salesman asked, “Engaged?”

Gary looked at me and I looked at him.

I can’t remember nodding or smiling, but I must have done something, because Gary turned to the salesman and said “Yes.”

After we signed the papers we went to a restaurant and talked things over.

Then I called my grandmother to tell her I was getting married.

Thirty-four years later we’re still talking things over, and we’re still married.

That young girl on the edge of the cliff and the edge of a new life is me on the day we went to the boat show and got engaged.

I decided to post a variety of photos of us over the years instead of writing a bunch of words. I think our faces tell you more. We’ve had our ups and downs, but Gary is my best friend and I love him much more than that young girl did. I hope we live to celebrate another thirty+ years together. Happy Anniversary hon! 

Blank

My page is blank tonight for the longest time ever. I sit in my chair trying to sort through the hundreds of thoughts sailing around in my aging brain and pick a topic for my blog. Finally I have a night with a few “extra” minutes for writing and I can’t even think about what to write. I’m too tired. I’m too stressed. I’m too keyed up.

Everyone I know is tired. Sleep depravation has become a national problem. I heard on the radio this morning that most teenagers don’t get the nine hours of sleep they should be getting. Nine hours?? What teenager gets nine hours of sleep? Most have homework, sports, music practice, dance, jobs. Then I’m sure they have to talk on the phone for a couple of hours! And most of my students don’t get the ten hours of sleep recommended for kindergartners. I don’t get eight hours of sleep. Seven, maybe…sometimes. Many of my friends get by on six hours sleep. It’s a wonder any of us can walk around!

Everyone I know is stressed. There are too many things to do. Too much information to take in. Too many changes. Too many expectations. Multi-tasking isn’t an “organizational tool” anymore, it’s a way of life. It’s difficult to find time to do just one task and do it well. Perhaps that’s why I found myself staring at the blank page for so long tonight. I have so many things going through my brain that I just needed time to focus. I get like this from time to time- just on the brink of “overload”. Time to complete a few projects, check a few tasks off the “to do” list and breathe again so I can feel in control. I often wonder if that’s why the Bible says “Be still and know that I am God”. It’s not just the “knowing God” part that is important, it’s the being still.

I used to love sitting in a tree or on top of a big rock and just watching the world, listening to the world. I’d think about stories and plan adventures and dream big dreams. I think that’s why I’m a little stressed tonight. I started looking ahead to my summer schedule and most of my July and August are already scheduled, planned, booked up, and written on the to do list. It gives me a dizzy feeling that takes a while to overcome. I like being in control of my life. I like planning things. But I also like thinking that I have some “be still” time ahead of me in the summer months. I need some stillness.

I may be tired and stressed, but I can only be unhappy for short periods of time. I just have too much in my life that keeps me smiling! Right now I’m all keyed up because I’m involved in a challenging project, I’m feeling pretty good, I’m working with a great community organization, the flowers are blooming, and I’m very, very pleased with the progress made by my students this year. When we completed their report card testing and I reviewed their reading logs I felt like dancing! Even though I’m multi-tasking and getting a little overloaded on projects, it’s exciting when things go well!

So, I haven’t solved any world problems tonight. I haven’t finished anything else on my to do list. I haven’t finished grading papers. I haven’t even finished the laundry or done the dinner dishes. But you know what? I filled up this blank page! Later…..

Circus Week

I thought you might want to see a couple of photos from Circus Week! We really have a lot of fun with this theme, as you can clearly see! We spend the week reading about the circus, making animals, learning songs, eating popcorn and cotton candy, and talking about occupations in the circus. I even painted a lion face on my window. Enjoy! (I'm the fat red one. And yes, that’s my real hair- teased a bit and sprayed with glitter paint.) 

Ladies Night Out

I stepped out of my “comfort zone” this week. I don’t think many people know that I really, really don’t like “women’s groups”. I don’t usually attend retreats or workshops or meetings or parties that are “ladies only”. I’ve always felt like an imposter in large groups of women. Don’t get me wrong. I like the camaraderie of other women. I love to spend time with co-workers. I like to go out to lunch with friends. I love to talk, talk, talk. But something about those scheduled, pre-planned, programmed, “ladies only” events makes me want to run in the other direction.

I’ve thought about it before and I think some of my panic comes from my early experiences with moving. I was never part of the group. I was never one of the girls. Even after we moved to Caddo and settled down, I was still “that girl who talks funny”. (Kids here made fun of me because I said “forest” instead of  “woods”, “aunt” instead of “aint”,  “get” instead of “git”, and a dozen other words and phrases of a California girl.) It took me a while to feel like part of my class, part of my community.

            Anyway, during the past fifteen years I’ve probably been to about three events that were “ladies only”. So it was a surprise this past Sunday when a young woman in our church specifically asked me to attend this week’s women’s meeting because she was going to speak. She said she felt nervous and it would help her if I attended.

Let this be a lesson to all of us! I’ve had lots of women over the years say “You ought to attend the women’s meeting this week.”, or “Hey, why don’t you join us this week?” But no one has ever before said, “Will you attend for me? Because I need you to be there.” There was no way I could turn her down!

So, I nervously attended my first women’s meeting in about ten years! I suspect God had this planned all along, because it was such a blessing! Not only did I feel comfortable and at peace because I felt I was “serving a purpose”, but I thoroughly enjoyed the fellowship, the food, and the program. My young friend did an excellent job! And something she said encouraged me to tackle a problem at school in a totally different way. The result today was astounding! Something that had been a burden to me for months simply melted away because I changed my approach to it. I guess even an old dog can learn a trick or two!

Now, I’m not going to make any promises, but I hear that next month the program is going to include a talented singer from another church. I just may have to attend again!

Fish and Friends

Gary and I don’t leave town often. It’s not that we don’t like to travel. It’s just that weekend trips tend to leave us tired, broke, and behind on our usual weekend chores. This weekend was no exception, but we figured that since I’d been home all week at least our usual chores were done. So, we set off for the Dallas World Aquarium.

First of all I have to say that it was raining, raining, raining. I thought we’d be inside and wouldn’t have to worry about it. Well, the entrance is a winding ramp that is mostly covered with plants and stuff, but there are places where you can get awfully cold while waiting in line! And a couple of the “inside” exhibits are actually open to the elements, so I wouldn’t recommend going on a rainy day. However, that didn’t stop the hundreds of people who joined us Saturday, because we were literally “elbow to elbow” with people all through the exhibits. I tried to be pleasant and enjoy the experience, but I have to admit that a couple of times I remembered quite clearly why we left the city!

The DWA is not cheap. The tickets are  $15.95 for adults, $12.95 for seniors, and $8.95 for children. (Parking was $5.) Compared with other zoos and aquariums we’ve visited I think it’s a bit overpriced. The Tulsa Zoo is $6.04, $4.03, $3.02. The Oklahoma Aquarium is $12.95, $10.95, $8.95. The OKC Zoo is $7, $4, $4. But those are also farther away from us.

The DWA is part rainforest/zoo and part aquarium. It’s arranged in levels to exhibit the canopy level of the rainforest, the understory level, and the aquatic level. If you want to see examples of some of the exhibits you can visit their site: Dallas World Aquarium.

What impressed me about the experience was how incredibly wonderful the animal world is and how much of it remains a mystery to us. We go about our daily lives with cats and dogs and cattle and birds and give very little thought to how many thousands of animals exist. We don’t think about how even the tiniest creatures help keep our world delicately balanced so that everything functions. As I stood in front of one of the underwater exhibits and gazed at the corals and anemones and urchins I felt overwhelmed with gratitude. How wonderful that God created such beautiful creatures! And the fish! The colors were mesmerizing. In the Southern Australia exhibit the leafy seadragons drew an open-mouthed crowd of children and adults. The seadragons look like giant seahorses with leaves and stems covering their bodies. I don’t recall ever seeing one before or even knowing that they existed.

That was the wonder of the day. I read lots of magazines and books. I watch the news. I’ve been to several zoos and aquariums and animal exhibits. But with all that experience, there are hundreds of animals I’ve never seen. Many that I’ll never see. But I saw at least a dozen new ones yesterday! And it felt like a privilege. A humbling privilege.

That’s the purpose of places like the DWA. Their field guide says that part of their mission is to “help instill an appreciation and understanding of our interdependence on the Earth and its fragile ecosystems.” We tend to be a bit arrogant about our place in the world, and certainly about our role in nature. It’s humbling to see just how much of it survives without us. However, many of the world’s creatures are threatened or endangered by our lifestyle. They won’t survive without help. I noticed that the DWA is involved in a specialized program called Species Survival Plan. Their endangered animals are clearly identified. It’s good to know that groups are working to protect and breed these animals and return some to their natural habitats so that our children and grandchildren will be able to appreciate them.

So, despite being tired, broke, and wet, it was a good day and a worthwhile experience. However, next time I think I’ll stay in Oklahoma and head to OKC or Tulsa.

 

Thursday

It can’t be Thursday! Spring break can’t be almost over. I still have at least ten things on my “to do” list that won’t get done before Monday morning. How long is it until summer???

I shouldn’t complain. It’s been a good week. I’ve had time to read, work in the yard, do some errands, complete a few projects, and work on my husband’s family tree. I’ve also had a chance to talk with friends and spend more time with Gary. Of course I have not exercised more (except for gardening) or finished any of my writing projects. What does Dr. Phil say?- “Future success is determined by past performance.” So I guess I’ll always be fat and behind on my writing projects! LOL

I think Gary is disappointed that I haven’t reached the “fame and fortune” stage in my writing. He mentioned Monday that some freak has had 25,000 “hits” on his blog (about politics). I told him I’m not controversial enough for that kind of attention. Perhaps if I used the words “naked” or “Terri Hatcher” or President Bush” or “Iraq” in my blog, then the big search engines would pick it up. Or maybe I could write about “Terri Hatcher and President Bush naked in Iraq”! Oh well, I suppose Gary and I have lived without fame and fortune for so long that we should be used to it. Although I did get a fortune cookie last week that said “You will spend old age in comfort and material wealth.” Maybe my time is coming! Maybe I should tell my children so they can start saving their money. They can fight over who provides for me because I don’t think SS is coming up with the “material wealth” part.

I’ve been able to watch more news reports this week. I’m a news junkie and I love to hear about other people. There is a group in California that has started a movement called the “Compact”. They vow not to buy anything new (except groceries and medicine) for a year. Okay, I’ve been cheap for years! But come on…I had to buy a new blade for the mower yesterday. I have to buy new walking shoes this weekend. I need a new refrigerator because the old one is still freezing lettuce. I want to read their “compact”! Nothing new???

I’ve also spent the week reading about Caddo in 1875-1899. I find history fascinating! You can read about some of my discoveries on my other site.

I worked in the yard a bit this week. The tulips, day lilies, hostas, phlox, Shasta daisies, and poppies are all thriving. The peach, plum, apricot, and red bud trees are blooming. The weather has been glorious! I planted some red flame grass, dianthus, and pansies in the downtown flowerbed. I need to take pictures soon. More daylilies to transplant today. I’m also going to plant some pansies in the church flowerbed. I’m planning three big pot arrangements to go in front of the pavilion. Our beautification committee is planning to sketch out some new landscaping for the community building. 

I’m reading a novel about a hostage situation in a hospital, and a non-fiction book about the miracles of Jesus. Both are listed on the left. I wish I had more time to read! Of course if I hadn’t watched NCIS, Survivor, The Unit, and two DVD episodes of House this week I would have had more time to read. But there you go- past performance again!

Well, enough rambling for today. I promise to write something inspiring or enlightening or entertaining before I go back to school Monday. Course I’m not sure when I’ll have time. Tomorrow I’m getting the car serviced and checking on some property records at the courthouse and having lunch with a friend. Saturday we’re going to the Dallas Aquarium. Sunday there’s church and preparation for Monday…

It can’t be Thursday already!!!

Don't Tell

  Today is my son’s birthday. Shh… Don’t tell him I’m writing about him. He’ll be embarrassed and say bad things about me. He thinks the whole blog thing is so lame anyway. And mothers have big mouths. But hey, I’m just doing my job right? Why do we have children if not to have someone to embarrass just like our parents embarrassed us? Like telling you that when he was little he cried every time someone sang “happy birthday”. Or…okay…I still want him to speak to me after this, so I’d better quit.

Robert is a great guy, most of the time. He’s smart, funny, and kind. I love to talk with him about current events, movies, politics, history. It’s that other stuff- personal stuff- that we have trouble discussing. He just doesn’t listen to his Mom as much as he should. After all, I give good advice! But he’s a guy. I should know from growing up with four of them that they’re “different”. Guys have their own way of doing things.

He wasn’t always averse to listening to me. He was a good child and hardly ever got into any serious trouble. But he could be stubborn and he certainly had his own ideas. He cut his thumb with his dad’s razor and managed to hide it from me for quite some time before the bleeding got out of his control. He once started walking home from school, even though we lived miles away, because he simply didn’t want to ride the bus. (He called us from a pay phone when he got tired.)  He drove his teachers crazy with his ability to impress them and annoy them at the same time. He once wrote a term paper on “Why I Shouldn’t Have to Write a Term Paper”. 

Robert was destined to be a little spoiled. Last child. Two older sisters. Grandmother next door. He was a cute kid with wild curly hair. Older women in our church loved to pat his curls and tell him how cute he was. He loved race cars and animals and stories. He was happy and agreeable. But I don’t think he was ever too spoiled. He turned out to be one of the good guys and I’m proud of him. He has good friends and a good job and a small apartment in the city. He says I’ll never have a daughter-in-law or one of his grandchildren. That’s not the life for him. He’s stubborn, but we’ll see. A good woman, the right woman, might change his mind. Enough. If I write too much he really will say bad things about me.

Happy Birthday Robert!

           Don’t cry…I’m not singing. Love, Mom

A week's worth

of news. I have been too tired this past week to blog. Too tired to go to a free piano concert Wednesday night. Too tired to work on my genealogy. Too tired to read the novel I started. Too tired to walk on the treadmill Wednesday and Thursday. I hope this is a temporary situation that will be alleviated by a week off.

I have to backtrack a little and tell you that Monday I started off with a warning from a very polite officer that I was going 44mph in a 35mph zone. Yes, I admit that I was. I was listening to my Bible CD and failed to slow down sufficiently when I went through this wide spot in the road that has fewer residents than my own hometown. I have to actually watch my speedometer and concentrate to convince my little car to go that slow!  However, the irritating part was that a fellow traveler who blows past me each day was right behind me. The next day at the gas station he grinned wickedly as he announced that he’d seen me on the side of the road. At least he had the decency to tell me that he’s also gotten a warning this year.

We’ve been busy at school with last minute tests and projects and such. Lots to do before letting these little ones off for a whole week! And our circus children are leaving so that means lots of “homework” packs for their tutors. And I was so shocked to get an “end of the year activities” list in my mailbox. End of the year??? I still have nine weeks left to accomplish my goals for this year!!

I was too tired to do more than a couple this week, but I’ve become addicted to those silly Sudoku puzzles. If you haven’t tried one, don’t. You won’t be able to stop! LOL

I still have a hacking cough that catches me off guard when I’m in the middle of reading a story or singing a song. I had recess duty this week and there is a huge pile of new wood mulch at one corner of the playground.  It’s going to be spread during the break. I’m allergic to about a dozen trees and wet mulch always makes me wheeze. It rained this week, so each time I got near the pile I started coughing and wheezing. One little girl finally came up and said, “Are you all right?” No, but I lied.

We did get two rainstorms this week! Much needed moisture, but also some tremendous wind and hail. Everything is turning green and the trees are blossoming. The little daffodils I planted at church, and the DQ, and next to the theater, all look so cheerful. The tulips are peeking out of the ground. The poppies have sprouted. Thinking of creating a new flowerbed at the community center. I’m talking to our committee chairman about it, but it will entail some manpower and time. It will require more digging than I’m capable of doing, and it has clay soil that will have to be amended.

Watched Survivor Thursday. Each season I say I’m not going to watch, but I do. It’s the one reality show that I like. The people still seem greedy, stupid, manipulating, and far too naked (why can’t they have Survivor-Alaska??), but the challenges are creative. The relationships that form are intriguing. And I always come away with a feeling that “hey, I’m nicer than I thought!”

Friday I proudly watched four of my students stand at our weekly assembly and be recognized for their reading accomplishments. They have learned so much this year. They’ve grown and matured into good students.

Today is the beginning of spring break and I have a long “to do” list. Many of my colleagues are going on mini-vacations or just “doing as little as possible”. I’ve spent previous breaks like that. However, this year I just ended up with a lot of personal things I haven’t done because I’ve been so sick. I hope to stay well and do them this week. Checking things off my list gives me a sense of satisfaction. And when we return to school it will be the first official day of spring. Yeah! (Did we have a winter? I think I wore my coat about six times.)

Anyway, off to WalMart, Lowe’s, and the library. Have a great day!

Fashion

I’m a fashion failure. Yes, it’s okay to nod your head if you know me personally. I’m resigned to the reality of my situation. My husband accepts me. I’m over fifty and I don’t think I’m going to change unless one of my daughters begs Oprah to include me in her next “makeover” show.

I think about this personal flaw each fall and spring when the new fashions are displayed on every magazine cover and the “fashion divas” appear on television. I have absolutely no desire to change my wardrobe each season to comply with what the “hot new fashion” is in New York or Paris or even Oklahoma City. Oh, I’ll buy a few pieces that are “in” for the season. I’ll try a new color or a new skirt length. However, my basic wardrobe is always green, blue, red, brown, and orange. My favorite clothes are practical, comfortable, cheap, and casual. I haven’t worn pantyhose since 1996. I won’t wear anything that has to be dry cleaned (unless it’s a coat). I won’t wear anything I have to “worry about”, i.e., Is this too short if I reach over my head? Am I going to have a million wrinkles after I sit in my car for an hour? Will this stain if my students hug me or splash paint on me? I won’t wear anything too trendy. I don’t have one of those shiny purses or those weird plastic clogs.

I blame this flaw on my parents. If they had had just one more girl I might have been saved. But no, they had to raise me with four boys! How is a girl supposed to learn about fashion when she’s working in the fields and playing Army with her brothers? I remember my fifth-grade best friend getting a manicure set and I didn’t even have nails to manicure!

My hands are still a source of disgrace. Half the time I work in the garden without gloves. I forget to use hand lotion.  I use that drying, anti-bacterial gel in my classroom. My nails are brittle and usually chipped. I had a nice manicure for about twenty minutes last week! Then one nail chipped. Then another. I tried a set of acrylic nails once when a friend talked me into getting a real manicure. My hands swelled and turned red!

Now that it’s spring the bare feet are coming out of hibernation. Cute sandals and “flip flops” will start appearing on all the best-shod feet. Not mine! I have stubby little toes that have each been broken. Two of my middle toes are crooked because, yes, they have been broken. My heels are always dry and cracked. The ankle that has screws in it always looks puffy and one of the screws is just below the surface of my skin. Vain? No. But I’m not going to call attention to my feet by wearing a skimpy piece of leather between my toes. At least not in public!  Canvas shoes will adorn my tootsies for the summer.

Okay, if we’re talking about feet, we might as well move on to hair. I don’t have a “hair style”. I don’t get my hair “done”. I don’t have a standing appointment a the beauty shop. I don’t have a personal relationship with my hairdresser. I have my hair cut at one of those “walk-in” places about twice a year. The rest of the time I trim my own bangs and do the best I can. My hair is so curly that no one notices what I do anyway.

By now you’ve gotten the idea that I’m hopeless, so it shouldn’t come as a shock to you that I don’t wear much makeup either. A little lip gloss, mascara, maybe a hint of eye shadow, and I’m good to go. But from May to September you’ll see me sans everything, because it melts right off anyway.

I used to be a fashion “wanna be”. I have pictures to prove it! I wore trendy outfits complete with makeup and accessories. I tried different hairstyles and colors. I polished my nails each night. I knew all the girls at the Clinique counter. The whole time I felt like a fraud. And I worried, worried, worried. Was my hair perfect? Was my makeup right? Was my dress flattering? Was there a run in my hose? Did anyone notice the spot on my sleeve? I never felt good enough.

As I sit here writing this I’m wearing elastic-waist jeans and a turtleneck top (red of course). My favorite “at home” clothes are jeans, sweats, t-shirts, and cotton gowns. I’m always barefoot if the temperature is over fifty. Tomorrow, for school, I’m going to wear a pair of olive green corduroy pants and chartreuse green mock turtle neck top. It’s my favorite Monday outfit because it’s comfortable and feels like “me”. I won’t worry about how I look or fuss with my clothes or even give them a second thought once I walk into my classroom. I’ll just teach. And I guess that’s why I’m a fashion failure. I don’t have room in my brain to think about my clothes, or my hair, or my makeup. I’m too busy working and thinking and living and enjoying myself. My clothes are just protection against the elements. My hair and my face and even my disgraceful hands are just part of who I am. I’m thankful to be alive and healthy and happy. I don’t need to be fashionable too.

Happy Birthday to Rob

I have a love/hate relationship with my son-in-law. I love having him in the family. I hate not knowing him better. Being separated by over a thousand miles discourages any real relationship. Over the past ten years I’ve spent very little time with him- a few weeks of vacation now and then, a week after Katrina’s accident. Most of our phone conversations are short and limited. We don’t have that history of a million little experiences that establish a solid relationship. However, the Bible says you know people by their fruits. So I think I can safely make a few assumptions about Rob.

He has a loving family. I was impressed that both sets of his parents attended a barbeque when we were there for vacation. It shows that they love him and respect his home and family. I have several friends with step-parents who wouldn’t be in the same county with each other even if it was for a family event. Rob also has close relationships with cousins and other family members, and that gives my grandchildren plenty of companionship and encouragement. 

           He works hard to support his family. He has a responsible, respectable job and he seems to do it well. He’s made sacrifices to make sure his schedule fits the needs of his family.

He’s a jock. He plays sports, coaches sports, watches sports, and talks about sports. I leave most of that to my husband, although I do like basketball, baseball, and a smidgen of golf. Football is a foreign language to me. Hockey makes me wince. But I respect Rob’s love of games. He’s a good coach and a loyal fan.

He’s a good Dad. My grandchildren seem happy and well-adjusted. They’re reasonably well-behaved. They’re involved in school activities and sports. They have a comfortable life.

He’s a good husband. My daughter seems content. She seems secure. And I think she’d tell me if she wasn’t.  That’s the burden of being a son-in-law. When you get right down to it you only have one major function in life- make my child happy or I’ll make your life miserable! LOL  No wonder there are so many terrible mother-in-law jokes. It’s a setup from the minute the cake is cut. But I think he can handle it. I’ve seen them together enough to know that he loves her.

He’s not perfect. I’d know more of his faults if I spent more time with him. But then, he’d also know more of mine. I’m just happy he’s agreed to stay around and give us a chance to get to know him a little better each year. Now, if I could only get him to move to Florida in time for my retirement- we could really spend some quality time together!

Anyway, Happy Birthday Rob! I’m glad you’re my son-in-law!

P.S. He’s kinda cute, too, but don’t tell him I said so. Men can be so vain.