My husband Gary and I went “people watching” last weekend. Our cover story was that we were going to the big monthly flea market to look for bargains. But you know the truth- we went to see PEOPLE. People are those strangers who do things and say things and wear things you and I never would…never ever.
People are stupid…we’re forgetful or mistaken or “having a senior moment”.
People are fat…we’re a few pounds overweight.
People wear the dumbest things…we were just in a hurry, or too tired to iron.
People have brats…we have children who are “having a bad day”.
People are loud…we’re excited.
People are great entertainment…
The flea market we went to is large, busy, and very well managed. There are open booths, permanent booths, food vendors, animal breeders. It’s sort of like the fair, a yard sale, and a craft show all rolled into one. The crowd was huge and the weather fantastic. We walked for about an hour. (That’s my physical limit these days.) During that time I made the following philosophical observations:
1. We’re fat! We’re all fat. Not plump, or overweight. Not round or stout or chunky. We’re “oh, my gosh, put down that corndog” HUGE! It used to be that a fat person was conspicuous in a crowd. I felt conspicuous in a crowd! Now my fat behind is just one of hundreds. I would calculate that every third person I saw was at least 75 pounds overweight. And every other person was eating or drinking something. Gary and I decided to forget about business ideas or retirement plans, we’ll just get a little food booth at the flea market and sell something fried! People love fried food! I watched people devouring fried turkey legs, corndogs, curly fried potatoes, and onion rings like there was no tomorrow. (For that woman with the extra large turkey leg there might not have been.)
2. The more tattoos a person has, the more naked they will be so you can see all of their “artwork”. Now I’m not against tattoos if that makes you happy. My son has a tattoo. I have friends with tattoos. Getting a tattoo is not a sin. I think there are cultural taboos against tattoos if you work in certain occupations. I think having a lot of tattoos may give people an impression of you that isn’t necessarily good. My biggest complaint about people with tattoos is that they think I want to see them. People with tattoos will cut their hair, shave their necks, roll up their sleeves, wear low-cut blouses, wear short skirts, or walk around without a shirt just so everyone else can “enjoy” their tattoos. Please, please, please…just keep your clothes on. If I want to see your tattoo I’ll ask. Thanks.
3. We’re falling apart because we’re fat and don’t exercise. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Maybe I was there on “rehab” day. I don’t know. There were people everywhere with canes, oxygen tanks, braces, casts, electric carts, and crutches. Yes, I actually saw a woman with a cast, on crutches, walking around the booths. I also saw several people heaving and panting like they needed oxygen and a cane. And I told you that walking an hour on blacktop was my limit. By the time we got to the car my feet and legs were angry with me for dragging them around over hill and dale. (What exactly is a dale? Oh, well, a topic for another blog.) We have to get out more. We have to walk. We have to breathe. We have to lose weight.
4. People with small dogs annoy me. Now I’ve offended at least three friends. But notice I said “people” with small dogs…not anyone I know. J Friends I understand; it’s people who are crazy. I saw a woman carrying her dog in a “baby carrier” strapped to her middle. And of course she was talking to it like it was a baby. I saw another one buying “doggy clothes”. One booth had dog accessories for the little mutts that I didn’t even know existed- dog costumes and hats and jewelry. Maybe that’s another retirement idea for Gary to think about!
And my last observation, 5. People with cell phones are getting to be ridiculous! Does anyone realize how funny they look sitting alone on a bench jabbering and waving their arms? People talk while they’re walking. They talk while eating. They talk while shopping, parking, and waiting. I imagine some of them are trying to figure out a way to talk in their sleep! Give me a break. Give yourself a little thinking, creating, listening time. Unplug and be silent for a moment. Turn off that phone and let people wonder what you are up to!
That was so much fun I may do it again. Or maybe I’ll just go sit in the mall. It’s starting to get cold.