There have been so many times, especially in the last four years, when I have wanted to look a parent in the eyes and ask that question. I’m beginning to think it should be on the enrollment form. Then I wouldn’t have to hear all the excuses parents make for why their child can’t learn _____ in my class! (Note: for this post I’m going to use “he” for two reasons: 1. it’s just easier than “he/she” 2. I have found that the majority of parents who need this information are parents of boys. Sorry, just my experience. ) It seems to me that each year parents expect a little less of their children. As parents become more concerned with the happiness of their children they seem to be more and more willing to entertain them rather than educate them. Take a close look at how much time and money and effort is put into extra-curricular activities and sports rather than academics and homework. This is beginning to worry me. I’m all for having happy children, but public school wasn’t intended to delight our children. It wasn’t intended to entertain our children. Its original purpose was to educate and enlighten our children so we could build and maintain a country of knowledgeable and productive citizens. During the past few years I’ve heard some interesting excuses from parents, especially after the second report card. Here are the most common excuses I’ve heard for poor student performance: 1. He’s five. Okay…so are most of my other students, including the ones who are doing twice the work, giving me twice the effort, and learning twice as much as your child. I have been assuming that he is five, and capable of learning as much as any other five-year-old I’ve taught in the last ten years. Just how stupid do you think he is? I’d be happy to lower my expectations to say, a three-year-old, if you truly don’t think he can do this. 2. He’s been sick. With what, brain fever? I understand getting behind in work. I understand missing some concepts. I do not understand a three-day case of strep throat becoming an excuse for not knowing anything we have covered in the past six weeks. 3. He’s a boy. Yeah, I noticed that the first day when he climbed on top of his desk and you had to bribe him with candy to get him down. How long are we going to go on condoning aggression and defiance in our boys? I’ve asked this child each day, for over 100 days, to stop talking during lessons and pay attention to what we are doing. If you used the same excuse at home he wouldn’t even be potty trained! 4. You expect too much. So does the state where I teach, the President who endorsed “No Child Left Behind”, the college your child might wangle his way into someday, and the boss who might consider hiring him. It’s ironic that this excuse most often comes from the parent of a boy who can tell me all the stats of his favorite pro team, excruciating details of the latest horror film he just watched, or the rules of his favorite video game. If I could just make reading and math more exciting I’m sure I’d have no trouble with him at all. 5. He’s just like his dad (mom, aunt, grandpa, grandma, whoever serves as the family scapegoat) - he never was no good in school. Okay, so you not only cloned the kid, but you did it from someone you knew was defective? Please people…this one does not work at all. Children have a combination of genes and experiences that work together in a unique way to become a new person, not a copy of you. Many similarities in learning style or preference are learned from you in the environment you create at home. Do you think I sat around doing math problems with my children? No way! We read hundreds of books because I HATE math and LOVE reading. Turns out they are still better at math than I was as a child. 6. School just isn’t as much fun as he thought it would be. Well, neither is life. We sing songs, we play games, we laugh, we talk, but it all boils down to one thing- our children must learn how to read and think. Somewhere along the path to adulthood our children have to learn, as we did, that a few things just have to be done. Some basic concepts and skills just have to be learned. Some are not as easy, or as much fun, as others. If your house is fun and games 24/7 then you must live at Disneyland. And I’m sure even at the big castle someone has to take out the garbage. I can’t compete with the special effects and animation that your child gets from television and other electronics. I can’t give him the instant gratification he’s obviously come to expect in your home. However, I can teach him about the rewards of hard work and the self-confidence that comes from true achievement. This is not meant to just be a put-down of parents. Most of my parents are hard-working folks who go out of their way to help me with their child. They have high expectations for their children and want them to do more and have more in life. But I have to be realistic about the others, and to give you a warning if you have been making excuses for your child. If you think your child can’t learn, then you are setting him up for failure. Just because you haven’t said the words doesn’t mean he hasn’t gotten the message. If you think he is too stupid to learn, he will too!
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