The View from Here

Happiness

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln

I guess I made up my mind long ago. Happiness is much more rewarding than the opposite. Oh, I’ve had my share of problems and I have some down times just like everyone else. But I can’t stay in grumpy land or feel sorry for myself for very long. I think my overall outlook on life has always been positive because I just don’t like myself when I’m unhappy. And I don’t think anyone else likes grouchy Mary either.  

I know there is much in life that is not within our control.

Things happen that hurt our hearts and minds and bodies.

People do things that are mean and spiteful.

The world is filled with pain and suffering and disaster.

But we can control our minds.

We can control our attitude.

We can control how we respond to other people.

We can control how we react to events.

We can make up our minds to be happy in spite of everything.

“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.” Ecclesiastes 3:12. Perhaps it is the second part of the verse that we neglect.

Be happy today …and do something good!

 

 

Good Memories

I’m not sure when Mom wrote this since it isn’t labeled. Uncle Curtis died in 1991, just days before we returned to Oklahoma, so that gives us a timeframe of sorts. Many of you know that Mom represented the third generation of her family to write for the paper. And some of her siblings and other family members have also written for publication. I’m happy to say that I have samples of much of their work. Her grandfather was not only a writer, but quite an opinionated one when it came to local politics!

Many of my best memories of Mom are of her working at the typewriter or scrawling out notes in the margins of her manuscripts. I think her writing influenced more people than she ever realized.  

Flowers Along the Way

By Colleen Simmons

“We hold reunions not for the dead, for there is nothing in all the earth that you and I can do for the dead. They are past our help and past our praise. We can add to them no glory; we can give to them no immortality. They do not need us, but forever and forever more we need them.” Garfield (president)

When I first began filling Della Springer’s column space my Dad cautioned me, “Now, Sis, try to write about happy times…your mother always had Uncle Eb with his funny jokes and kind of left-handed sayings…and most people have more than enough trouble in their lives without readin’ more in the paper.”

But since losing Mama and Daddy and my brother Curtis, I’ve become better acquainted with death, and although it isn’t a happy subject, we need to talk about it. I’ve found that this “end of life’ is easier to bear if we make up our minds to accept the loss of our loved ones…to cherish our good memories of them.

Sometimes I think our first response to death is a focusing on ourselves. We are overwhelmed by this empty place in our lives. We feel a very painful guilt about “all the things we should have done” and now it’s too late.

Instead of wasting hours with regret I have found that memory can take me for another visit to our home place on Liberty Hill. I can open the old screen door and Mama will be there with open arms and Daddy will be sitting in his easy chair. I can shut my eyes and “see” Curtis laughing and enjoying himself at a family gathering or standing in the pulpit being a guest speaker.

Memories are a precious gift. And so let’s all try to leave some happy recollections for our loved ones. 

 

Finding My Summer Stride

Recently I expressed my desire to just “make a difference” this summer, and I spent the first week of my vacation figuring out how to make that happen. Seriously, has it only been a week?

The first part of the week was somewhat complicated by the fact that I hurt my toe on Sunday. That caused me to cancel my physical therapy session and rest a bit more than I had planned on Monday. Tuesday found me at the genealogy library and doing a couple of errands. PT and more errands on Wednesday. Thursday I went to the podiatrist for my evaluation. In between all that I did research online, cleaned a closet, and worked in the garden. Yesterday was a “stay home” day of more gardening and cleaning and research. Not very exciting stuff! My doctor and PT have released me to my own care once again, so the coming week should be more within my control and planning. That won’t make it any more exciting, but perhaps more like a vacation.

As I worked in the garden this morning two thoughts kept rattling around in my head. The first was that, try as I might, I cannot escape the fact that I am a creature of habit. I got up at 4am this morning and will probably continue to do so. I like the peace and quiet. I like to get up early and get things done. I’ve always been a “morning person”. I also like to do certain things every day- work in the garden, take pictures, write, read, answer email, check FB. I know that I will inevitably find myself on a schedule of some sort within a few more days. As I said, I’m a creature of habit.

The second thought was that “make a difference” is a good idea. I often have trouble stopping a project once I start. But I have used that little phrase to my advantage this week. I had planned to work in the garden for an hour each day and have found myself actually working 1 ½ to 2 hours.  Of course if a “real gardener” lived here he or she wouldn’t have the weed problems that I have. A real gardener would have done a better job of creating flower beds and would have cleaned them earlier in the spring!! I know many of you think I have a beautiful garden, but in reality I have beautiful flowers that tolerate my laziness! So, anyway…when I start getting tired I just tell myself “at least you made a difference”.

I also had to use that phrase this morning when I began my “office makeover”. Little did I envision that this little project will take two or three or more mornings. One hour this morning made a difference, but only a little one. My goal is not to make my office more attractive—it never will be that—but rather to make it more efficient. I do a lot of writing and research in the summer and I like to be able to find things quickly and easily. I have to admit that my workspace had become a bit cluttered over the school year.

So…I am trying to find my summer stride and a balance between work and rest. My anxiety about completing some projects “while I have a chance” must be tempered by respect for my health and an understanding that life is about priorities. Anything truly worth doing usually gets done!

I do want to comment on a couple of photos before I go find some iced tea and a book. The sunflower is the first one of the season. I love the color and variety of these beauties. There are surprises every summer!  The corn is a volunteer, no doubt planted by a bird. It is growing between two coreopsis and some mums. I can’t wait to see if the raccoons harvest it or wait for me to pick it for them. I don’t have a clue what the vine is and would love to hear from anyone who can identify it for me. It just appeared on the fence.

I hope you have a great weekend. Tomorrow I will post a piece written by my mom. I found it in some files this morning. I told you I need to clean my office!!

 

 

 

 

Dear Walmart Shoppers,

Please be aware that we are forced by circumstances to share a space each week. I would appreciate a little consideration for my rights as a fellow shopper who desires to just make her purchases in peace and harmony.

Please do not be quite so creative with your driving. Going the wrong way between two out-going cars and backing into an open space not only makes you look desperate, but makes me wonder if you have a valid driver’s license.

Please do not wear your pajamas to the store. I know they are comfortable but…

Please do not yell expletives at your spouse, girlfriend, or children as you exit your car. If you are having an argument you don’t need to share it with me.

Please do not leave the house with areas of your body exposed that only your mama or your spouse should see.

Please do not spit on the ground, or throw away your cigarette just before you get to the door.

Please be aware that just because you paid for all those tattoos does not mean I have to see every one of them.

Please do not let your children sample the produce.

Please do not chat on the phone about your BFF’s girlfriend, boyfriend, arrest, or pregnancy while shopping.

Please do not let your phone ring in the bathroom, especially if it plays pigs singing “Wee-wee-wee” all the way home.

Please do not debut your next Halloween costume for my benefit.

Please do not allow your children to run in the store, hide in clothing racks, stand in shopping carts, or climb on the shelves.

Please do not change your mind about your purchases and then leave cold food sitting out on random shelves.

Please do not take a movie out of its package and then leave the empty case in the shoe department. And please do not eat part of a package of ANYTHING and leave it ANYWHERE. We all end up paying for the store’s losses.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation. 

 

Go Further! Go Farther!

Little things sometimes drive me crazy! While watching Idol last night I was instantly distracted by the Ford commercial and its campaign slogan: Go Further!  I honestly had to sit there and try to decide if they were bragging about fuel economy, in which case Go Farther! would be correct, or if they meant to advance the concept of “going green, saving the planet, etc.” which would make Go Further! correct. My husband was quick to point out that most people don’t care. But I do!

 My eighth grade English teacher is totally to blame for my mental dilemma! She not only taught such quirky bits of information, but she somehow made them stick in my brain. She was also great at teaching little tricks for remembering how to spell words. I can spell “separate” because she told me to visualize “a rat” sitting in the word. I still do!  And she made us spend hours diagramming sentences. Most people don’t even know what that means. Take a moment to view and ponder the Reed-Kellogg diagram method.

I can only hope that something I teach in my classroom will stay in the brains of my little ones and affect them one day.

And there is another lesson- effect vs. affect! 

Thanks again Mrs. K! 

 

You've Got to be Kidding....

This morning I listened to someone’s opinion about the lawsuit over an accident that occurred in 2009. It involved a pickup truck hitting a motorcycle while the driver of the truck was distracted by texting. The controversy is over whether the sender of the text message is partially responsible for the accident. Seriously? Why did the driver accept the message while driving? Why was the cell phone within reach? Why was it turned on? Can I sue Direct TV if they call me while I’m driving and I answer it? They call and try to sell me their service at least once a month. Maybe if they realize they are responsible for my driving actions they will leave me alone!

Is this what we have evolved into- a litigious society willing to sue over anything and everything? Can I sue you if you text me while I’m walking and I fall down? Can I sue the convenience store for selling me a cup of coffee if I spill it and get in a wreck? Can I sue Subway for selling me a sandwich if I choose to eat it in the car and have an accident? Can I sue the radio station if a song distracts me from driving? How about an ambulance passing by with its siren on or a construction worker on the side of the road? Either might prevent me from fully focusing on my driving!

Not only do I have a problem with the idea of this, but I hate to think about all the time, money, and effort that will go into debating this in courtrooms and government offices where they have better things to do!

Come on people, time to take responsibility and just do the right thing. Stop gluing that phone to your hand and get a life! 

 

My Kind of Day...

Worked in the yard and was blessed by the sight of these two new beauties.

Went to Craighead’s to drop off photos of the yard of the month and had a nice visit with Belinda.

Took my finished, completed, OVER and DONE book of church records to the genealogy library to be indexed and had a chat with Rozell.

Did some research and found several documents and pieces of information I needed.

Stopped by the Durant library for a couple of books and talked to two of my favorite people- Reba and Jan.

Stopped by Nichol’s and picked out some squash for dinner.

Came home and talked with my daughter.

Now I’ll go feed the birds and see what else is waiting to be photographed before dinner.

My kind of day!

 

Things happen...

The hinge that supports the cover on my pickup bed wasn’t working Saturday and we discovered that one of the bolts securing it had broken. Odd…but easily repaired this morning by the same crew that attached it three years ago.

When I turned the cycle knob on my dryer Saturday it also broke. This is the third one that has broken, so I wasn’t totally surprised. Nothing lasts the way it once did. The dryer works fine, but something in the knob assembly is obviously defective. So…here we go with replacement #3.

We also installed the window air conditioner that cools our west-facing bedroom. Only one problem…the battery in the remote was dead. Of course it requires a special battery that I don’t keep! At least my husband works for Lowe’s, so I passed the task on to him.

 I walked out to the laundry room last night to see the raccoons. I’ve walked out there nearly every night for years without any trouble. I haven’t moved anything into a new position. The light was even on! And yet…I hit my little toe against the metal leg of the treadmill and yes, I just imagine it is broken. And it really doesn’t matter if that is the official diagnosis… the toe is painful and swollen and purple and I can’t move it. I can’t even describe how I felt this morning, going through the familiar routine of gingerly putting on my shoe. There was a moment when I was so tempted to feel sorry for myself. And then I remembered the other little things that had happened on Saturday. I took those in stride because “things happen”.  Now this has happened. It may not be the best thing that has happened to me, but it certainly isn’t the worst. And it probably won’t be my last accident. Things happen…

As Grandma Della would say, “This too shall pass.”

 

Just make a difference...

I have been contemplating my summer plans, and though I debate with myself constantly about the pros and cons of “planning” vs. “winging it”, I am by nature a planner. I can’t help myself. I try to be spontaneous, but there is always a running list in my head of what I should or could or might at least try to do next. Unfortunately this gives me a sense of urgency, and sometimes anxiety, which is not always healthy. I sometimes ask myself why I try to do so much. Probably some deep-seated need I could blame on my parents if I so desired. But I suspect I was born with the need to achieve.

I worked in the garden a bit yesterday, not because I had intended to do so, but because Gary brought home nine plants from the clearance racks. There was a time in the not so distant past when I would have felt compelled to put them all into the ground and check off that task as “done”. However, I didn’t feel like doing that yesterday. I had other things I wanted to accomplish. So I planted three of the little beauties and then left the others to rest on the patio until I choose to plant them. While I was digging holes I noticed a rather shameful section of weeds that needed clearing so I got out my hoe and cleaned an area about two feet by four feet. When I looked down I thought, “Well at least that made a difference.”

I have been running that phrase through my brain ever since.

And I have decided that I will plan for the summer.

I will plan to “make a difference” each day.

I’m not sure what that difference might be, but the idea suits the temperament of my increasing age and changing habits. I might not have the time or energy or even the will to do everything I need to do each day- in the garden or the house or here at the computer where I do my writing and research. But I can certainly do something. I can make progress. I can make a difference. Sounds like a plan to me…

 

Lesson Learned in My Garden

There will always be weeds. It’s best to ignore a few of them.

Make sure you take time each day to enjoy the sights and sounds and smells of the garden.

A garden should be shared.

A landscape may please the eyes, but a garden pleases the soul.

A garden changes each and every day. We just fail to notice most of the changes.

A garden is less about planning than about evolving over time.

A garden requires work that often feels like play.

There is no such thing as a squirrel-resistant bird feeder!